


Where we begin

by chip1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Wet Dream, mentions a bunch of other characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-11-08 22:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11090823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chip1/pseuds/chip1
Summary: “I won’t remind you that you had the chance to talk to Tooru before it escalated like this.”Iwaizumi let out a small, pained laugh. It almost sounded like a whimper.“Thanks, Kenma”





	1. All according to plan

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is about halfway done. My main concern was exploring the Iwaoi relationship as friends and the whole process of separation that we know our boys are gonna go through.  
> I know this has been done many times already, but bear with me 'cause I'm really proud of this one :D  
> Ahh! I tried to do some research on volleyball teams and universities in japan but I think I fucked up lol Just don't mind it because it's not really important to the plot.
> 
> Also please point out any mistakes u find

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit 23.10.2017 -> minor update and grammar review!

Iwaizumi isn’t dumb. He might not be effortless smart as Kunimi or a book worm like Watari, but he did ok in school. Good grades overall. He knew he wasn’t dumb and still… Yet still he felt very much like that right now.

 

The cold air of a December morning crept through the window as he tried to dunk the crumbled paper on a trash bin. He barely missed it.

 

“Wow you suck, Iwa-chan!” Iwaizumi turned around abruptly, glancing from Oikawa to the crumbled paper on the floor. “What is that? Oh! Is it a love letter? Are you confessing to someone, Iwa-chan?”

 

Oikawa clasped his hands together, seeming overly excited out of nowhere. He tried to push pass Iwaizumi and reach the discarded paper, but his friend lifted an arm, glaring at him.

 

“That’s none of your fucking business, Trashykawa!” Oikawa pouted

 

“Why are you being so mean so early in the morning?..” he trailed off “ Uah! Don’t tell me she dumped you already, Iwa-chan?!”

 

Iwaizumi grunted and looked sideways. He has been dumped all right. Just not by a girl.

 

Iwaizumi had received the entry results from his University of choice and they were far from good, so, he thought, ‘dumped’ was a particularly good way to put it. The bell rang and the happy morning chatter slowly muted in the classroom, making way for the teacher to talk about the winter break.

 

 

 

 

The days after that flew by like a passing breeze and the winter break was finally happening. There were no more volleyball tournaments to play, no more practice or club activities. Iwaizumi felt his life lull around him on endless meaningless days. They all felt the same. They all tasted bitter.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to tell Oikawa that he didn’t pass Tokyo University’s entry exam, so he just started to avoid his best friend at all costs. Not a tough job since Oikawa was asked to join the volleyball team - because of course he would - on T University, and was currently spending the winter break all about Tokyo, getting acquainted with his future coach. Iwaizumi was safe for now and free to mull over his misfortunes for as long as he wanted.

 

Come April, being away from Oikawa was going to be something he would have to get used to. Iwaizumi tried to consider the Winter Break as practice for that. This perspective upset him more than he cared to admit. Never in his life had him been away from Oikawa for more than a week or so.

 

His phone chimed. Speaking of the devil....

 

 _[My new coach is so mean, he reminds me of you]_ Attached to the text was a photo of a mock hurt Oikawa and the back of a man, who Iwaizumi could only assume it was said coach.

 

Iwaizumi snorted. Oikawa was such a prissy prince sometimes but he knew the boy could handle himself, no matter how “mean” that coach was. His phone started to sing loudly, interrupting as Iwaizumi tried to reply the text. It was Mattsun.

 

“ _Iwaizumi! A bunch of us are getting together to visit the shrine tomorrow and maybe reach the karaoke booth after. Get your sappy ass out of bed and join us, ok_?”

 

He chewed on his lip. Iwaizumi had already told Makki and Mattsun about his exam failure, so he knew they were probably trying to cheer him up. With a heavy sigh, he conceded.

 

“Maybe. I’ll hit you up. Text me the address.”

 

“ _See you tomorrow, I~w~a~c~h~a~n”_ Mattsun sing songed and dropped the call.

 

“What the hell?!” Iwaizumi stared angrily at the phone as it chimed again with the address for the meeting.

 

He knew he couldn’t spend the entire break holed up in his bed, so maybe going out with his former teammates wasn’t the worst idea ever. Mainly without Oikawa there.

 

 

Iwaizumi woke up the other day with yet another text from the idiot.

 

 _[Good morning, Iwa-chan. Last night was so much fun! I'm so sad to be leaving today :(( ]_ and attached to it was a selfie of a red-faced Oikawa making the peace sign in front of the _Love_ sculpture, in Shinjuku.

 

Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes awake and quietly saved the photo to his phone, snapping it shut again.

 

Soon enough he was heading out to meet Mattsun and the others by the shrine. It was still very much cold this early in January and he huddle up in a comfy coat. The place was packed with people, so he, Mattsun and Makki said their prayers and left as soon as they managed to get their o-mikuji papers.

 

“Watari and Kindaichi are meeting us soon” Mattsun informed, as they took their places in the karaoke booth.

 

“Hey Iwaizumi! What did get on the o-mikuji?” Makki reached forward the microphones, dropping one in Mattsun’s hands. “I was so shook because of my bad luck that I just shoved mine in the nearest door and forgot to nag you about yours!”

 

Mattsun made a face “You got bad luck? This is a very bad timing to have bad luck, Hanamaki”

 

Makki let out an exasperated sigh and shrugged.

 

“This probably means that my old man is going to make me work on the family business. Oh, the pain!”

 

Iwaizumi grunted, not in the mood to engage the two of them. He already had had bad luck, nothing written on a piece of paper would change that.

 

“So?” he looked up to the expecting duo in front of him “Was it bad luck?”

 

“I don’t know… I didn’t see.” Iwaizumi answered quietly, already expecting their paired reactions

 

“Oh my God, Iwaizumi! You can’t just NOT see it!”

 

“And yet, I didn’t” he clicked his tongue, browsing through the song selection “This shit isn’t true anyway.” the two began to protest loudly and Iwaizumi fumbled with his back pocket, picking the small folded paper from the inside. “Here! You read it. I don’t care.”

 

Makki reached for the paper and made a quick work out of it. On the top was written “ending small blessings”.

 

“Looks like everything is going to be fucked up but it will end up fine” Mattsun grabbed the paper from Makki. “Well, at least you know it’s all going according to plan. You have already fucked up”

 

Mattsun flashed him a grin and gave the paper back to Makki.

 

“How nice of you” Iwaizumi noted, flipping through the pages of the catalog without much interest.  

 

“Oh! it says here that you will do well in school and your love life is going to be a disaster for a while”

 

Iwaizumi glared at him, taking his fortune paper back. “That already went downhill”

 

“Yes, with Oikawa going to Tokyo and all. “ Makki snickered

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” Iwaizumi pushed the song catalog far away from him, deciding to just shut up for the rest of the night, and shoved the fortune paper back into his pocket.

 

“Oh, you know how life is…” Mattsun flashed him a devilish smile.

 

Iwaizumi turned to them as the door jumped opened and Watari and Kindaichi walked inside, dragging a very wary looking Oikawa.

 

“Look at what I found in the train station!” yelled Kindaichi, letting go of Oikawa’s hand and splashing himself on the sofa.

 

Oikawa was tired, Iwaizumi could tell. Judging by the bag he was carrying, their former teammates had run into him on his way home from Tokyo. Iwaizumi glared a little, but the other man just flashed a small smile and sat down by his side.

 

“Go home”

 

“Jesus, Iwa-chan! It’s nice to see you too!” Oikawa pouted and elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Just when I was thinking that my Iwa-chan would be so happy to see me earlier” he put a hand on his chest, with a mock shocked expression “You tell me to go home!”

 

Iwaizumi clenched his teeth and, for a while, the two of them just exchanged glances.

 

“Oi, you two! Should I play ‘Love is in the air’ or is we going to sing  something else together uhhh?” Mattsun pointed the microphone at the both of them

 

“Right, you wouldn’t last the first sentence in English…” Oikawa said, reaching for the song catalog. Their usual banter grew loud in the small booth, not slowing down for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

The full moon was high up in the sky by the time Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked their usual route home. Iwaizumi had both hands shoved into the pockets of this coat and Oikawa hummed off-key to the last song they played in the Karaoke.

 

“You didn’t tell me you were getting back early” the silence was eating Iwaizumi’s insides, still, he avoided to look up to his friend’s face. They barely exchanged few words during the night.

 

Oikawa bit down his lip. He faced Iwaizumi, a slow smile stretched on his thin lips, but his eyes were serious, searching.

 

“Hnnn… Maybe I should say the same?”

 

Iwaizumi stopped on his feet. _Oh_.

 

“You know!” he hissed, finally meeting the other’s eyes.

 

Oikawa stopped as well, still staring at him, bag dropping heavy on his shoulders.

 

“Watari-kun let it slip at the train station.” He smiled. That dreaded cold smile that Iwaizumi knew to be fake. “I mean… He obviously thought I knew, since it would only be natural for me to know.“ he paused. Bathed in the moonlight, Oikawa looked taller and scarier. Iwaizumi swallowed dry. “You know... With us being childhood friends and all, right I-w-a-c-h-an?”

 

There was a pressure on each letter of his name and Iwaizumi knew, he knew that Oikawa was hurt.

 

“Well, there was nothing to tell. I didn’t get into T University and now you know. Goodnight.”

 

He ducked his head and walked past his best friend. Oikawa drew in a sharp breath.

 

“Hajime”

 

Iwaizumi jolted, taken aback by the sudden use of his first name. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to turn around and face Oikawa.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” a long silence stretched out between the two of them, the cold January air circling around their bodies. “Do you really think that this is no big deal?” Oikawa took a step forward. “Why didn’t you tell me, Iwa-chan?”

 

Oikawa’s voice broke at the end. Iwaizumi turned back to face him. Yes, Oikawa was hurt, but Iwaizumi was hurting as well.

 

“Oikawa“ he let out a breath, looking his friend straight in the eyes “It’s late, you are tired, let’s not do this now.” He couldn't do this now, not when they still had time.

 

Iwaizumi reached out his hand. Oikawa just stared at it, his lips tight in a thin line. Iwaizumi could see a million emotions flashing rapidly across his friend’s face. Iwaizumi opened a little more his fingers, in another silent invitation.

 

It was a dreaded winter night. Oikawa’s fingers felt icy cold when it finally reached his, but still, he held on and together they silently walked home.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi’s misfortunes couldn’t be more well predicted. The school year ended, along with his volleyball career and the long lazy days of having his best friend by his side. Oikawa’s presence was carved so deep inside him that Iwaizumi still caught himself walking to the boy’s house.

 

His mother took pity on him and would let him lay around the house like a good for nothing kind of guy. Occasionally she would ask about Oikawa and Iwaizumi showed her one of the pictures his friend texted him every day.

 

Oikawa’s dorm room [ _My roommate is nowhere to be seen, Iwa-chan! Maybe I got lucky!],_ Oikawa’s new favorite place to buy milk bread, his hallway, his bike... Every little thing that the boy found remotely interesting, he would snap a picture and send to Iwaizumi.

 

He was about to head out for his morning run when his phone chimed with a text from Oikawa again. It was a selfie this time. He was out by a river with running clothes. Iwaizumi was not surprise since that was their usual time to run together, and if he still kept that habit, no wonder Oikawa did the same. What surprised him though was the shirt his friend was wearing. “That fucker!”

 

Quickly, he fired a text back

 

[I recognize that shirt, you piece of shit!]  Oh, yes. Oikawa apparently took one of his shirts with him to fucking Tokyo. One of his favorites nonetheless.

 

 _[Oh?~~ What shirt?]_ His phone vibrated with the text and then again with a photo. Oikawa was hiding half of his face on Iwaizumi’s shirt.

 

He went still for a moment. His face was pulling every muscle possible while he stared at his friend’s selfie. He closed the phone. And opened again. And closed again.

 

“Shit!” he mumbled, covering his face with his hand after saving the picture to his phone and snapping it shut again, running out of the house at a faster pace than needed.

* * *

 

Oikawa gloated at the lack of response. It was his win, then. Bringing ‘the shirt’ was a happy accident, actually, but he knew it would piss Iwaizumi off to no end.

 

It has been two weeks now since he first moved to Tokyo. So far, he had gotten lost three times and hit on by a 60 year old - a new personal record, the noted. He also reached another new record, the longest time without seeing his best friend. Oikawa’s heart felt heavy at the thought of this number only going up. This wasn’t how it was meant to be.

 

Iwaizumi was supposed to play with him at the nationals, on the same team, right by his side. He would set him the ball to make the final point and, being the Ace that Iwaizumi sure was, he would strike that ball with so much strength and precision that no libero could ever receive it. And they would win. Together.

 

He sighed, getting up and cleaning his clothes. The motion made him aware of someone watching him and, when he squinted his eyes to take a better look, the stranger spoke:

 

“Oya, Oya, Oya! Isn’t this Oikawa-san??”

* * *

Makki spent the week bothering Iwaizumi to go and watch the first practice game of their old volleyball team, till the boy finally caved. The late April breeze calmly shook the trees outside Aobajosai’s volleyball court and Iwaizumi felt nostalgic.

 

Watari was the captain now, after having left to assume Oikawa's spot as the setter. He would make a good captain, Iwaizumi was sure of it. He observed fondly his former team juggle balls from right to left, some of the first years receiving not so graciously the balls with their faces.

 

Makki laughed loudly for every face-ball encounter and was granted a yell from the new captain. Iwaizumi snickered. Everything was the same as always, the smell, the banter, the sounds, but still… Still, something was missing.

 

After practice was over, most of the team walked together to buy pork buns.

 

“Right… Iwaizumi-san, what are you going to do now anyways?”

 

“Uh?” Iwaizumi snapped back into reality. Kindaichi looked at him expectantly.

 

“No, I mean…” Kindaichi trailed off, seeming a little embarrassed all of the sudden “Are you gonna try T University again next year?”

 

“Yeah, maybe he should go to a magic bath house and try again for several years.” Makki laughed, punching lightly Iwaizumi on the shoulders “At least I heard that you can have your own harem there.”

 

Iwaizumi furrowed his brows. “What _is_ wrong with you, Makki?”

 

“He misses Matsukawa-san, I’m sure” Watari provided, patting his friend’s shoulder.

 

“Yes, I’m the one all moody like _when will my man return from the volleyball war_ ” Makki twirled around Iwaizumi and everybody had a good laugh, sitting together at the tables outside the pork bun store.

 

They ate, they threw some buns around, they reminisced fondly the days when they were all together and each got up to go their separated aways yet again. Iwaizumi entered the store once more, out of habit, to search for milk bread.

 

“Ah, excuse me.” a low female voice spoke beside him. “Would you mind reaching for that soda?”

 

Iwaizumi turned sideways and gasped a little when he saw the former Karasuno manager in flash and bones standing right beside him.

 

“Uh, sure…” he grabbed the bottle of Coke from the higher shelf and gave it to her. She struggled and, with a little bow from her head, went to the register. “Do you need help, Miss Manager?”

 

She looked back at him as if assessing him for the first time.

 

“Ah! I’m Iwaizumi Hajime!” he was embarrassed, she probably didn’t know who he was and now he looked like a fucking stalker. “I used to play with Seijou. We played against Karasuno a few times and...” he tried to point outside to his friends who were still wearing uniforms, but those fuckers had already left “Damn!” he muttered, even more embarrassed now.

 

“Sure, Iwaizumi-san. Thank you.”

 

Her voice was calm and collected, making him feel even more of a mess. He quickly grabbed the soda bottle and more stuff from her hands. She sighed, relieved, and gave general directions to where they were heading.

 

“I’m Kiyoko Shimizu, by the way.” she smiled a little at him and Iwaizumi felt like his heart was going to rip out of his chest right then and there.

 

He didn’t dare to look at her again until they reached their destination. It was a tall University building. Kiyoko kept looking at him, expecting Iwaizumi to handle her groceries back to her, but the boy just kept burning holes in the building.

 

“You know you can’t move it with your mind, right?”

 

Iwaizumi was startled back to reality, very much embarrassed at his own spaced-out situation. He knew the building in front of him, it was a Junior College. His mom wanted him to at least try the 2 year college program in that same place, but Iwaizumi just figured that there was no pointing in going to classes just to go. He had absolutely no idea what would be his future as of right now.

 

“I go to school here” she offered, at his lack of words. “It’s just a local two year school, but that should be enough to help me became an actual manager.” Kiyoko smiled again, more to herself than to Iwaizumi this time.

 

“That’s...Nice.” he thought out loud, a little lost in himself as well.

 

“Are you going to attend an University as well, Iwaizumi-san?” Iwaizumi looked at her then, as if searching for an answer to give. “I mean… Sugawara told me that Oikawa-san is in T University with him and Daichi. I supposed you…” she trailed off, watching his expression began to sour. “I’m sorry, it is not my place to ask”

 

Iwaizumi pressed more tightly the groceries against his chest.

 

“No, it’s fine.” He paused “I failed the entry exam.”

* * *

 

Oikawa watched in horror as Kuroo filled his plate with every disgusting thing on the University’s cafeteria display. They just came from their first practice and, if Oikawa would be true to himself, he wasn’t really expecting to be the only one from their year to be invited by Tokyo U’s coach to join the team, but Kuroo was something else.

 

He took more time than he was proud to admit to remember just who the hell that nasty looking bastard was. And it was just when Kuroo changed into training gear and started spiking some balls that the realization hit Oikawa like a foreigner train: this was Nekoma’s former captain, Kuroo Tetsuro.

 

But right now, the awe from his amazing spikes was subsided by the horror of watching Kuroo eat.

 

“And when they told my friends here that someone great was joining the team I just assumed it was me, ya know” Oikawa perked up a little at that. “but hells no. It is the _oh grand king, Oikawa-san_ ” Kuroo pointed a fork at him

 

“Nice to see that my reputation precedes me” he said, smiling a little too sweetly at his companion.

 

“Yes, well. That and a huge flock of girls and boys all falling for you, going _Oikawa-san, Oikawa-san_ all over the place. What the fuck man! You have been here what? Two weeks?! Half of T U. is already head over heals for you.”

 

Oikawa arched a perfect brow

 

“Is that your way of asking me out? Because if it is, it’s not very effective.”

 

“No, my friend, my dude, no. Just no.” Kuroo kept eating, not as much as glancing at Oikawa

 

“Outch, Captain-chan! This way you will hurt my feelings” he put his arm on his forehead, in a mock-hurt pose. “Am I not good enough for you?”

 

“My man, you have your head so far up your ass that there’s no space for me to put anything else in there.”  Kuroo said, looking at him with a grin.

 

Oikawa snorted, giving Kuroo a light shove on the shoulders. They chatted and ate together till the night drew to a close.

* * *

 

 _[ Look at what the cat dragged in!]_ It was a photo of Oikawa and a tall spiky black haired dude, carrying a huge box into what looked like Oikawa’s dorm room.

 

Iwaizumi stared at the photo trying to figure out who that guy was. Kindaichi looked over his shoulders and let a small _Oh_ scape.

 

“Do you know this guy?” Iwaizumi showed him the photo.

 

They were at Aobajosai’s practice again, Iwaizumi was filling in for the assistant coach, who, apparently, has gotten sick. It was the third time that week. The team members secretly thought that their a.coach just found a girlfriend and was gladly letting Iwaizumi do all his work for him.

 

Kindaichi looked at the photo more attentively and shook his head.

 

“I mean… He doesn't look strange to me” he amended quickly and then let out a laugh “Are you worried Oikawa-san is replacing you, Iwaizumi-san?”

 

Iwaizumi glared at him. That thought never even crossed his mind, but dammit if it wasn’t going to be the only thing the thought about now.

 

“Kindaichi! Stop being mean to senpai!” yelled Watari from the other side of the court.

 

“I am not!” Kindaichi yelled back “You should check this guy out, captain! Then I bet you will agree with me!”

 

In no time, all senior members of Seijou’s team were elbowing each other in front of Iwaizumi’s phone, everyone talking at the same time. _Oh that’s what Oikawa-san’s dorm looks like_  and some _It looks like he lost weight right_ and even _Check out that black haired dude is hot aff_

 

Finally, Iwaizumi had enough and shut his phone down, yelling and complaining about every single _lazy ass who wasn’t training_. Watari stuck around, waiting for Iwaizumi to chill a little, and then poked him in the ribs.

 

“You know, senpai” he said, trying to smile as sweetly as possible to appease his upperclassman furry. “I think that guy used to play for Nekoma. The Tokyo high school” he amended, at Iwaizumi’s confused look. “You are in contact with the Karasuno former manager, right? Karasuno and Nekoma are life long rivals, she should know who he is!”

 

Watari patted lightly at his shoulders and left him alone with his thoughts.

 

 

It took a little time for Iwaizumi to muster some confidence, but he finally took an afternoon to lurk around that same pork bun shop, in the hopes that Kiyoko would show up. She found him half hiding behind the vending machine and tried to suppress a laugh.  

 

They sat silently for a while on tables outside. Iwaizumi was not good with girls. The boys from his team would joke around all the time saying that he would never find a girlfriend because Oikawa was already his misses. _Like Oikawa really cared about anything other than volleyball._

 

Iwaizumi took out his phone, flashing her the photo he received earlier. “Do you happen to know who that guy is?”

 

Kiyoko leaned in a little, her shoulder brushing against Iwaizumi’s arm.

 

“Ah! That’s Kuroo-san, from Nekoma. Suga told me he was also attending T University.” Iwaizumi stared at his phone, lips quirked downwards “I take he is Oikawa-san roommate?”

 

“I guess so? Is Sugawara-san on the volleyball team as well?”

 

“No. He is pursuing a major in Japanese literature”

 

That relieved Iwaizumi somehow, he didn’t know why. Now that he got what he came for, Iwaizumi started to fish for another reason to stick around. He pondered.

 

“And how is your university?” It was a lame question, but good enough to entertain Kiyoko a bit more.

 

“Pretty ok” She smiled fondly at him. “I’m working hard to be a good manager one day.”

 

“So uh… You always wanted to? I mean, be a manager?” _What a fucking loser, oh my god_

 

Kiyoko wondered at that for a while.

 

“I guess not?” Iwaizumi lifted his eyes to her and her smile grew even bigger, leaving little red tints on her cheeks “But being Karasuno’s manager was so much fun that I thought this would be something I could do for the rest of my life.”

 

Iwaizumi flushed.

 

“Wasn’t it the same for you? Even now you still go and play volleyball at Aobajosai, right?”

 

He felt something grabbing his heart from the inside and tugging at his veins.

 

“I…” he trailed off “ I guess I started playing because Oikawa just nagged me till I did.” he clicked his tongue and furrowed his brows, remembering their childhood days. “And then he just got more and more into it, so much so that he would hurt himself frequently.”

 

Kiyoko laughed and Iwaizumi lifted his hand to his forehead, he was getting a migraine just thinking about all the shit Oikawa put him through.

 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t leave that fuck tard alone even if I wanted to. And when I realized, we were making plans to go to Tokyo and play volleyball at the national juniors league.”

 

He stopped. The pain in his heart was almost overwhelming now. He felt the back of his eyes burn. Kiyoko gently put a hand over his, reassuring, present.

 

Her hand was soft and warm and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but compare to the long, cold and calloused hands and Oikawa holding on to him on their walk home, many moons ago. He felt his throat dry.

 

“You know, there’s more to you than he was, Iwaizumi-san” she closed her hand on his. “You will find your own way, on your own time.”

 

Iwaizumi turned his face sideways. _Was there something more?_ He couldn’t even tell anymore what habit was his own and what he had picked up from the man he called his best friend.


	2. The Grand King doesn’t look so great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has had many walls to his face during his short lived life. He didn’t expect college to be that different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: 24.10.2017 -> some grammar mistakes fixed.   
> I have no energy to write, so I'm reviewing stuff. Soooorry

Oikawa stared at his muted phone. He has been staring at his phone for days now. It wasn’t that uncommon for Iwaizumi to let a few days pass by without answering Oikawa’s daily messages, but this was yet another new record. One week. One miserable week without Iwaizumi as much as calling him an idiot.

 

Oikawa blew a hair from his face and looked up from his place on the bench. The seniors were doing a practice match with each other and he was stuck watching. He never got stuck on the bench. Ever. Yet his college career so far had him more time sitting down than spiking balls.His legs were restless.

 

“Getting antsy, pretty boy?” Kuroo teased, stretching a bit by his side.

 

“Like you are used to be warming benches, kitten-chan yo” Kuroo coughed and blushed such a deep shade of red that Oikawa narrowed his eyes at him. “what’s with you?”

 

“Bench warming” he smiled lazily and sat down again. “Speaking of which, Kenma is coming over this Friday, is that ok?”

 

“How the hell is that ‘speaking of which’?” Kuroo waved a hand dismissively at him.

 

Oikawa already had a hole in his head from Kuroo talking non stop about Kenma, so he figured the _brain_ would be coming over sooner or later. From the two weeks he had known Kuroo, he sure knew more stuff about the man’s best friend than about the man himself.  

 

The practice was over with their coach informing them about an upcoming match against K University, to what Kuroo seemed to be really excited about. The coach gave a long and hard stare at Oikawa and dismissed the team.

 

Kuroo bounced around their room searching for his phone. When he finally found it, he stretched himself on his bed and started to chat loudly “Oya, Oya, Oya! Have you heard it already?!”

 

Oikawa noted that the man seemed still in very high spirits.

 

“Kuroo, you disgust me. Please take a shower.”

 

Kuroo lifted his middle finger at Oikawa, without skipping a beat at what had to be the loudest phone conversation he’s heard in his entire life. Oh, Oikawa could hear the other side as well. “Bokuto, my man” Kuroo would say, over and over again.

 

Oikawa glared and took his toiletries with him in a bag, fishing his phone before closing the door. He stared at his phone again. For some reason, he was growing fearful of sending texts to Iwaizumi.

Oikawa passed a hand through his hair and paced around a little. He opened the message app. Last text was open. Iwaizumi was still reading his texts. Oikawa wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bad thing. Either way, that awful feeling on his stomach still sank deep.

 

He sat on the bench and flipped his phone opened again, watching the screen light dim from inactivity. He pressed a few buttons, more determined now, and as quickly as possible, not to let his courage slip, he fired a text to Iwaizumi.

 

[Iwa-chan, yoohoo ~~ ~~ You know, my roommate is so gross he reminds me of you ★~(◠‿◕✿) ]

 

His brows were knitted together as he stared at the screen going black again. He fumbled with the keys and the screen lit up, the small check box signed that Iwaizumi had read the text. Oikawa’s fingers shook a little. _Why_

 

[We are having our first match two weeks from now. Be sure to cheer me on! (ΘεΘ|♡ ]

 

He lifted the phone to attach a selfie, but he noticed his eyes were really red around the edges and his brows kept knit together, even though he was trying to relax his features. With fingers still shaking and a suddenly dry throat, Oikawa closed his phone for the day and head out to the showers.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi’s phone chimed again and he furrowed his brows. Oikawa texted a lot, yes, but it wasn’t common for him to double text. He let his fingertips rest on the buttons, pondering if he should answer or not. Excessive use of emojis was number one hint of a distressed Oikawa.

 

“Is everything ok?” Kiyoko reached a hand on his forearm. “It’s Oikawa-san, right? You should answer him.”

 

She gave him a knowing smile, but Iwaizumi closed his phone into his pocket.

 

“Nah, it’s ok. He was just blabbing about a match”

 

“Oh! It’s with K University, right? Asahi goes there, he told me they would be having a match with T on the 23rd for the University’s games”

 

Iwaizumi grinned a little at her “Karasuno is just all over the country, right?”

 

“Well, you know birds… They spread their wings and no one can stop them anymore.” She tucked her hair behind her ear gently and kept a curious watch at Iwaizumi’s face. He kept a blank stare, but his hand was still wrapped around the phone in his pocket. “Ah! What was Seijou’s animal, again?”

 

Iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek

 

“I don’t know. Since Oikawa was the captain, I guess a peacock would be right.”

 

Kiyoko giggled and Iwaizumi wrapped an arm around her. _This is fine, this is nice, this is me moving on._

 

* * *

 

 

“Ah, the Grand King”

 

A little - very little - ball of red baggy coat and a pudding head showed up on Oikawa’s doorstep late that afternoon. He was holding a 3DS and made no other move to acknowledge Oikawa other than that little sentence, squirming in between him and the opening of the door frame.

 

Oikawa jolted back to let the boy pass more freely and kept on staring at him as if trying to figure him out. Oikawa had already seen him from video recordings of the Nekoma games, he knew him because people called him ‘Brain”. Anyone with that kind of sick nickname was meant to be noticed by the Great King himself. And Oikawa spent a great amount of time studying the way _the brain_ moved and dealt with his peers.

 

Pudding head stopped by the TV. Oikawa was watching a recording of his own teammates play. The boy looked up at him and narrowed his eyes, moving towards Kuroo’s bed. Kuroo was sleeping, arms and legs everywhere, mouth hanging open. The short boy seemed unfazed by this and, with a practiced move, shoved Kuroo’s mumbling body a little out of the way and proceeded to lay down on the bed himself.  

 

Oikawa watched the little exchange with wide eyes. He gasped, unable to avoid the sudden blush creeping up his neck. “Uh, I’ll just go. Tell Kuroo I’ll be back after dinner.”

 

Pudding head paid him no mind at all and Oikawa left as quickly as possible.  

 

 

He was dancing around the hallways when the assistant coach caught his attention, urging him to talk.

 

“Oikawa, I’m glad I run into you.” the a.coach was a tall lean man, with this face that strongly resembled that of an old lady. “Listen, how are you holding up?”

 

Oikawa looked at him, a little confused. “I-I’m fine?”

 

He patted himself for good measure. He seemed all in one piece.

 

“Are you, now?” there was a gentle smile on this a.coach lips. He put his heavy hand atop of Oikawa’s head “You should know that it’s very common for newcomers to work hard to prove themselves and end up hurt. We know it’s not easy to be the captain one year and the second setter the other.”

 

Oikawa furrowed his brows. He was just working his best like he always did.

 

“Coach and I noticed that you arrive early and leave only after everyone else. I’ve seen you running in the mornings every day and sometimes late after class even” he took both of Oikawa’s shoulders with his hands. “Are you sleeping right? Are you eating right?”

 

He dismissed his a.coach’s hands with his own

 

“I’m fine, I’m ok. This is what I have always been doing.” He winked “And you wanted me for that right?”

 

“Right…” the other man gave a playful kick on Oikawa’s bad knee “But we do want all of you. You should take care of yourself or the coach will leave you on the bench. Do you understand that? Also, Oikawa-kun…” there was a note of tenderness on his eyes “there are more ways to get to know your team other than stealing our recordings, ok?”

 

The a.coach patted his shoulder and left. Oikawa was staring at the ground, perplex. He felt his heart racing inside of his chest like it suddenly decided that staying there was no longer an option. He fished his phone out of his pocket and flashed it opened. The text app was already opened on Iwaizumi’s conversation.

 

How long has it been now? Two weeks maybe? Maybe a little more? It was already May and definitely the most he had ever passed without seeing his friend.

 

He scrolled back till he found Iwaizumi’s last text to him. _Jesus, Fuck…_ He felt his eyes sting, his fingers still shook.  It was a simple text about the newcomers on Seijou’s volleyball team. He had attached a picture.

 

Oikawa looked at it again. He had look at this text 200 times now. Right under it was his text from when Kuroo moved in after that Iwaizumi stopped answering. He considered simply calling his best friend and asking him why the fuck he was receiving the silence treatment, but Oikawa just figured that Iwaizumi could easily just ignore his calls as well.

 

He felt himself staring at a deep pit. He knew nothing about his teammates. He knew nothing about his best friend anymore.

 

He was falling.

 

 

By the time Oikawa came back to his room, Kuroo was awake and running around trying to find his soap and towel. He beamed at Oikawa when he passed through the door.

 

“Waifu! Have you seen my shower stuff?” Oikawa made a face at him but still pointed to where he’d collected Kuroo’s discarded stuff and organized into a neat pile. “Ah, you are just the best waifu ever”

 

He dismissed the overly excited man with his hands, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a grunt.

 

“You look good, babe. Nice dinner at the cafeteria? A little fois gras maybe?” Kuroo mocked. Oikawa simply grunted again. “Hey listen! Have you met the misses?” Kuroo picked Oikawa’s pillow off his face and pointed at Kenma, who was still very much laying down on Kuroo’s bed.

 

“I take that Pudding head over there is the misses?”

 

“My waifu is pretty AND smart, won’t you look at that, Kitten? And you thought I couldn’t pick them” Kenma snorted and glanced at Oikawa, who jolted awake.

 

“What did you just call him?” Oikawa asked, suddenly very interested, letting a devilish grin spread through his pretty face. Kuroo threw his pillow back at Oikawa’s face and reached for his toiletries.

 

“Don’t mind him.” the kid said and, seeming to pause the game, looked up at Oikawa. “My name is Kozume Kenma by the way.” he looked deep into Oikawa and then shrugged, getting back to his game. “Kenma is fine”

 

“Is ‘Kitten’ fine as well?” Oikawa snickered, already expecting Kuroo to turn 50 shades darker

 

“Go fuck yourself, Oikawa.”

 

Kuroo grabbed the pillow of a laughing Oikawa’s hand and proceed to smulder him with it, pushing strongly once for good measure, and then left kicking the door on his way out.  

 

Oikawa was still giggling when Kenma spoke up.

 

“I’d rather if you didn’t call me Kitten.” the kid was dead serious and Oikawa snorted

 

“No worries, pudding head-chan. Ah! Kenma-chan” he corrected himself and smiled at Kenma. “You can call me Great King if you want tho”

 

“You don’t look so great tho” Kenma fired without even looking up from his game.

 

“Outch, Kenma-chan. Why must you hurt me so, have mercy on my poor nerves” he lay down on his bed again, sighing.

 

The silence had barely set in the room when Kenma spoke again.

 

“If you want to talk about it you better do it before Kuroo comes back.”

 

Oikawa looked at him “What?”

 

“You look like you need to talk.” Kenma looked up as if confirming what he was saying, and then slowly noded. “Talk then, Tooru.”

 

Oikawa sat up in shock. “Did you just guessed my name? Do you have like super brain powers? Is that why people call you Brain?? Holy shit are you an alien?!”

 

Kenma looked him dead in the eye and let out a breath. “It’s written on your door.” he nudged his head to the general direction of the front door.

 

“Oh. Well” he hugged his pillow and pouted “That’s no fun then.”

 

Kenma seemed to smile at that.

 

“So? Talk? Kuroo should be back very soon. He doesn't take a full shower since his mother stopped giving him those.” Oikawa snorted. _That sounds about right_.

 

“Ahhh pudding-chan, my best friend is giving me the cold shoulder. What should I do?”

 

“Did you piss him off?” Kenma let a slow smile spread through his lips “You look like you can piss people off very easily”

 

“Aren’t you a mean lil shit?” he stuck his tongue out “But no! I was just being my awesome regular self. He just stopped texting me back!”

 

“That doesn’t sound like a very _best friend thing_ to do.” Kenma arched a brow “Are you sure you are friends?”

 

“Well, I was! We grew up together! We played volleyball together!”

 

Kenma paused the game and looked at him

 

“Is he that number 4 grumpy dude?” Oikawa laughed “You guys seemed to trust each other a lot on the games. That’s why your moves were so easy to predict”

 

“Excuse me?” Oikawa arched both his brows.

 

“Just telling the truth.” He let his game slide to the side. “Can I see your texts?”

 

“uh…” Oikawa played with his phone a while but eventually gave it to Kenma “why the hell not”

 

Kenma scrolled through his texts. “You _are_ annoying.”

 

“I’ll have you know that this is normal for me, ok?”

 

“From the size file on your conversation with him, I can tell this much.”

 

Kuroo barged in, toweling his hair. “What did I miss?”

 

“Oh, Tooru sent his friend a picture of you” Kenma flashed the phone to the newcomer

 

“You traitor!!!” yelled Oikawa.

 

“Oya, Oya! Do YOU have a crush on me, dude?” Kuroo laughed, squinting his eyes at the screen still turned to him “Oh, dude! Nice joke with the cat thing!”

 

Kenma smiled, facing the screen towards himself again. “Looks like that was the last answer from him”

 

Oikawa didn’t need to know that. He had already committed that text to memory.

 

“Maybe he was jealous then” Kenma closed the phone and gave it back to his owner.

 

“Of what?!”

 

“Of me, dude!” Kuroo run a hand through his hair and rolled his hips.

 

“This is absolutely unreasonable” Oikawa pouted.

 

“You insult me, my friend! I’m a catch!” Kuroo said, sitting down next to Kenma, who only snorted and picked his game back up “Hey, don’t laugh”

 

Oikawa looked at the both of them, incredulous. _This is ridiculous_.

 

 

 

 

As their debut game approached both Oikawa and Kuroo doubled the efforts during practice. After the not so subtle warning from this assistant coach, Oikawa tried to eat better, even going down to Kuroo’s family house for a meal or two when the cafeteria food looked particularly disgusting.

 

It was one of those times, three days before the match with K university, lazing around after a good meal, that something snapped inside Oikawa.

 

“You know, Captain-chan yoo, I think I’ll head out first,” he said, letting a friendly smile stretch around his features. “Please thank auntie for me and tell Pudding-kitten-chan I said hello”

 

Kuroo watched him get up, swirling the popsicle stick inside his mouth. He mumbled, a little wary. But still saw his friend out.

  
“Hey, Oikawa.” the boy hummed happily as he turned back to his friend. Kuroo was serious though “You be careful, ok?”

 

“Ah! What are you saying, Kuroo-chan you!” he laughed and waved goodbye at Kuroo, sticking his tongue out and disappearing down the street as Kenma was making his way up from the other side.

 

“Was that Tooru?” he asked, reaching Kuroo’s doorstep. Kuroo nodded, still staring at the place his friend disappeared from view. “He looks agitated”

 

Kuroo smiled at Kenma and reached a hand to pet his head.

* * *

 

“Hajime-kun” Iwaizumi looked up from his house gate. Oikawa’s mother was standing on their doorstep, waving at him. “Would you mind coming over for a second?”

 

Iwaizumi tried his best not to make a face at the request and walked to Oikawa’s house a little wary.

 

“Hello, auntie. How are you?”

 

Oikawa resembled a lot his mother. She looked at him with the same eyes an unguarded Tooru would often direct at Iwaizumi.

 

“Have you been in contact with Tooru these past few days?” Iwaizumi opened his mouth, feeling a tad guilty, but Oikawa’s mom interrupted him “I can’t seem to be able to reach him. I know he has a match coming up, so he must be really busy, but it has been a couple of days already…” she trailed off, lost in thought

 

“He is probably just training really hard, auntie. You know how he can get” _without me to take him back home,_ he wanted to add but felt something constrict on his throat at the thought. “I’m sure he is just fine”

 

She looked down at him, worry filling her very being.

 

“Well, if you say so, Hajime-kun. Just… Just tell him to call me next time you two kids talk, ok?” she smiled at him and Iwaizumi never felt so ashamed in his entire life. “And please remind him that eating is part of his training! He was so skinny last time he sent a picture, my poor boy.”

 

Iwaizumi’s heart skipped a beat. He bowed his head and excused himself, heading down to the train station.   

 

His hands were shaking as he opened his phone. How long has it been now? Why did he decide that stop talking to Oikawa was the best way to find out what things he liked for himself or just because Oikawa liked too? He felt dumb. For the second time in his life, he felt like the dumbest person in the entire world.

 

Iwaizumi opened his best friend contact id and paused. _What the fuck would he say?_ _Hello, sorry for giving you the silent treatment for three weeks, are you still alive?_

 

He was so self-absorbed in between going out with Kiyoko and training the Seijou team - yes, the asshole of the assistant coach just kissed everyone’s ass goodbye - that he hardly noticed Oikawa texting less and less. He opened the text app. Oikawa had gone from texting him every day, twice a day sometimes, to text him every other day. The last message from him was from two days ago.

 

No text, just a picture of an empty volleyball court and his hand holding up a ball. And a fucking peace sign emoji.

 

Iwaizumi glanced at the date on his phone screen: May 22nd

 

 _When was that fucking match again?_ He started to scroll up Oikawa’s text when his phone vibrated.

 

“Kiyoko, thank god!” he picked up, letting out a breath

 

“ _Did something happened?”_ it was particularly noisy on the other side of the line.

 

“Yeah. Or not” He actually didn’t know. He was just feeling like a fucking idiot. Oikawa did look skinnier, didn’t someone point that out long ago? “When were that T and K match again?”

 

“ _Ah, Iwaizumi! I’m calling because of that”_ his whole body froze in place. People kept passing by him on the busy train station, going about their lives, but his world stopped spinning right then and there. _What if something did happen_ “ _Are you listening to me?”_

 

Iwaizumi gasped for air “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that”

 

“ _I was s- Are you sure you are okay?”_ he nodded, but quickly grunted as a positive response. she seemed to take the hint “ _right… I was saying that I came to Tokyo with Karasuno. I’m sorry I’m only letting you know now.”_

 

“What? What?! Tokyo?! Why?!” _Should he have gone too?_ his heartbeat was seriously out of control, his breaths coming shorter and shorter, his palms sweaty.

 

“ _The match, Iwaizumi. It’s tomorrow and everybody was excited. So we just came with Tanaka’s sister.”_

 

Iwaizumi mumbled to himself, trying to draw more air into his lungs. He felt a constricted pain in his chest, and his side view was a little blurry. He knew what a panic attack looked like. He’d walked Oikawa out of a good enough number of them to be able to recognize the symptoms on himself.

 

“ _Iwaizumi!”_ Kiyoko yelled on the other line.

 

“Kiyoko, please just keep talking. Whatever it is about, I don’t really care. Just keep talking”

 

The girl took some time to recollect herself and, after a sharp intake of breath, she started to talk normally about the mundane details of their trip down to Tokyo. She described the landscape, the traffic, the smells, the music Tanaka’s sister put on, the food they shared.

 

Iwaizumi slowly focused on her voice, steadying his breathing, until he was fine enough to try and take a few steps, cleaning his sweaty hands on his trousers. “Thank you” he murmured on the phone and promised he’d call her after, hanging up soon afterward.

 

He pressed the number 1 on speed dial and waited.

* * *

 

Oikawa had deep bags under his eyes. He didn’t have a proper night of sleep in two days. He was coming back from his morning run and stumbled by the door on his room. Kuroo was out, he thanked the gods for that. All of his body was is a serious shaking tantrum and he felt like, even more than getting breakfast, he needed a little rest.

 

He juggled his phone out of the charger, where it has been sitting during the past couple days, and tried to turn it on. No luck. He cursed under his breath and threw the phone across the room.

 

 

Oikawa woke up to Kuroo shaking him.

 

“What the fuck man, do you even know what time is this?” He pointed to the clock on the wall. It read 1 pm. _Well, fuck._

 

“My phone broke” Oikawa got up, scanning the room for his jersey.

 

“I have your shit, Oikawa, let’s just go. The coach is going to be royally pissed off at you.”

 

Well, _that_ was an understatement. The coach just shoved the boys inside the school bus and sat Oikawa right by his side. He gave a quick and stern pep talk to everybody and quietly, just for Oikawa’s years, he mumbled _I will talk to you before the game_.

 

Soon enough everybody was on the court. A bunch of people was already cheering by the bleachers. Oikawa felt dizzy. Kuroo gave him a light pat on the back and asked if he was ok.

He was.

 

Kuroo had no time to be sure, because a dude with black and white hair, dressed in K University’s jersey, came crashing down his back. Oikawa recognized his voice immediately.

 

“Bokuto, my man!” Kuroo yelled, leaving Oikawa be.

 

The coach pulled him by the shoulder as he made a move to start getting warmed up.

 

“Oikawa, get over here” the coach was a broad man, not much shorter than Oikawa himself, though. He run an eye over Oikawa’s form, assessing him, and clicked his tongue. “What happened to you, kid?”

 

Oikawa smiled sweetly and fluttered his eyelashes

 

“Stomach ache” he supplied, quickly “but I took some medicine and I'm feeling super now! Let me just warm up a little.” he winked, trying to jiggle himself out of his teacher’s grasp.

 

“Sit down for the first set, ok?”

 

“Are you sure, coach? I mean I’m real good and I know many players from K.” he flashed a confident grin to the coach. He wasn’t lying. He studied each and every player from the opposite team like he was praying for salvation. Plus, he had already played against at least 3 of them.

 

“Yes, kid. You sit the first set down” he glared at Oikawa for good measure and sent him his way to warm up.

 

Not that much further from them, Kuroo looked at the exchange deep in thought.

 

“The Grand King doesn't look so great, after all.” Bokuto accompanied Oikawa with his sharp hazel eyes. “I must say I’m a little disappointed”

 

Kuroo looked up to where he knew Kenma would be and, right there, Kenma was looking back at him. The boy patted Bokuto’s back and left to warm up with his own team.

 

 

 

Kenma sat down together with both Nekoma and Karasuno’s team members. Fukurodane was on the other side of the court since their only former team member was on the rival side as well.

 

He heard a shutter go off by his side and Hinata started babbling with the girl who took the picture, Kenma just overheard the chat with no interest until he caught a known name.

 

“Excuse me, miss,” he said, interrupting Hinata who was obviously saying something to embarrass the girl. Both of them turned to him. _Ah_

 

“Oi, Kenma! Don’t you remember Kiyoko-san?” said Hinata, nudging at the photo-taking girl.

 

“Hn. Kiyoko-san, did you happen to just mention Seijou’s number 4?” Kenma asked, above a hyped up Hinata.

 

“Oh!” Hinata pondered “Iwaizumi-san! He graduated though!”

 

Kiyoko smiled a little and showed Kenma the picture. It was a simple photo from where Oikawa was warming up together with other players.

 

“I thought he might like that” she added

 

“Where is he, though?” Kenma’s eyes narrowed “I supposed he would come and watch the debut of his best friend and former team captain.” he pressed his lips together and added, “I thought he might like _that_ ”

 

Kiyoko assessed him with a blank expression, removing the phone from view.

 

“Yes, I think he would like that _too_ ” she answered simply, turning her attention to the court.

 

A loud whistle surged through the place. The game had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Kuroo x Oikawa friendship is great but have you considered Kenma x Oikawa as best friends? 'cause god knows i have.  
> Also: Salty bitchy kenma is the best kenma  
> \--  
> fun fact: this fic was almost called 'Twice Today' because of a song that a listen to every time i'm reviewing it. 
> 
> hit me up on tumblr @chip1


	3. Let it break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the game starts, Oikawa hits rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was especially hard to write.

The first set was a close call, but K won and Kuroo was sent to the bench. The break between sets was about to end when Kenma signaled Kuroo to look at his phone.

 

_ [The Great King shouldn’t play today.] _

[This is up to the coach decided] - Kenma furrowed his brows

_ [Have you looked at him at all, Kuroo?] _

[I live with him, yes]

_ [Don’t let him play.] _

 

“For fuck’s sake” Kuroo sighed and glared at Kenma all the way down from the bench. 

 

He searched for Oikawa and found him with a distant stare, not that much further away from Kuroo himself. 

 

“Oikawa” he put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and noticed the slight tremor rummaging through his body.  “Shit! Why don’t we sit down a little?”

 

Oikawa didn’t move.

 

“Kuroo... I was noticing these past few weeks that I seem to be stuck.” 

 

Kuroo furrowed his brows “What do you mean?”

 

“We all reach a peak in life, right? I think... I realize now that I’ve already reached mine.” He still wasn’t looking at Kuroo, his skin felt cold under his friend’s touch and his breaths were coming on shorter notes. “Maybe high school volleyball was all that was to me, you know?”

 

“No. I don’t. And I don’t believe you.” he pushed Oikawa by the shoulders with more force, but still the boy didn’t bulk. 

 

“It makes sense, you know” Kuroo rolled his eyes, he glanced at Kenma, but was too far away for him to make up anything on his friend’s face. 

 

“It doesn’t, Oikawa. Fuck.”

 

“No! No, just listen!” he turned to Kuroo now and,  _ Jesus Christ Oh my God _ , Kuroo had never seen someone so pale and with eyes so fucking red in his entire life. He could  _ see _ OIkawa’s breathing, the short moves his adam’s apple made. Up. Down. Up. “Kuroo, that’s why Iwa-chan isn’t here. Because this is all wrong. This was never meant to be. I’ve lived my glory days and that’s over, you know?”

 

“Oikawa, just.. C'mon I am real worried about you, man. You look like shit. Just sit down, we will take you to the hospital or something.” There was a loud whistle and the players started to move back to the court.  

 

“I’ve watched them, Kuroo. I’ve watched all of them a thousand times. And I worked so hard, so, so hard… But still. I can’t figure them out. I can’t set for them..” 

 

Oikawa slipped through his fingers and reached his designed position on the court. A second whistle was heard. Kuroo panicked. 

 

“Coach you have to take him out.” he yelled. 

 

The coach was watching the beginning of the second set with sharp eyes. 

 

“Coach!” 

 

“Kuroo… You need to watch this” Kuroo turned his alarmed eyes to the court “We tried to help him but he only lied to us. Again and again. Do you think I’m blind, my son? I see all my players for who they are. Oikawa Tooru has the self confidence of a slimy fish. All that flirty boss ass crap shit he pulls?” he shrugged “Defence mechanism. I don’t know how the hell he got around till now but seems like something broke.”

 

K university was three points in advantage. Bokuto was a raging machine today.  Four points. Oikawa was drawing breaths in even shorter pants. They lost another point so ridiculously that the audience shivered in unison. 

 

“So, let it break. Let it crumble to pieces. Let him see that he doesn’t need the excessive training or the midnight study sessions with recordings from other teams.”  Six points. Oikawa pulled a finger. He made a face but quickly smiled at his teammates. “I don’t know what happened on that old school of his, but here in Tokyo University no member carries the team. Even if it is all just in his head. We go in together.”  The coach turned to look at him then. “Don’t you understand, Kuroo?” 

 

“This is crap! Take him out!” Kuroo shouted. He looked up, searching Kenma. He was at loss of what to do, but Kenma was nowhere to be found. 

 

The coach gave him a stern and thoughtful look and then he turned to the court again. “No”

 

Kuroo shivered. He could feel all the bones in his body shaking with restrain not to jump and drag Oikawa out himself.

 

“Coach, with all do respect, this is really fucked up.” he bowed down and left the court, in a desperate search for Kenma. 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi was feeling the surge of panic rush through his spine again. In one moment, Kiyoko was sending him cute texts with pictures and updates from the K x T game and the other her number was being picked up by a dull voiced boy. 

 

“ _ Is this Iwaizumi-san?”  _

 

“Who the fuck are you and why do you have Kiyoko’s phone?!” he growled  

 

_ “Ah.. I see now” _ he paused on the other line, Hinata’s cheering voice was muffling the call.  _ Was that some guy from Karasuno? _ “ _ Excuse me just a moment, Iwaizumi-san.” _

 

He heard some muffled talk and some steps down what it seemed to be a staircase. And then nothing. Iwaizumi was pacing in his room, half ready to run to Tokyo, if needed. 

 

_ “I’m sorry. My name is Kozume Kenma” _ came the voice on the other line, much more clear now “ _ I borrowed Kiyoko-san’s phone. You shouldn’t worry, she lended to me willingly” _

 

Iwaizumi tried to calm down. This was just some guy friend’s with Kiyoko, there was no need for the adrenaline rush that was dominating him right now. “How can I help you, Kozume-san?”

 

_ “‘Kenma’ is just fine. I’m sorry, Iwaizumi-san, I’ll have to make this short”  _ he heard some guy shouting from the distance. His caller got even more nervous at that.

 

“Please do” Iwaizumi’s palms were sweating. 

 

“ _ Please come to Tokyo, Oikawa-san needs you.” _ he hanged up right when another shouting voice started yelling his caller’s name. 

 

Iwaizumi sat down.  _ What the fuck was that supposed to mean?  _ His throat dry, his eyes burning, his legs shaking. Getting to Tokyo would take forever by train, he knew that. He should buy a motorcycle. He should buy a space rocked. He should learn how to teleport. 

 

Taking deep steady breaths, Iwaizumi started packing.

* * *

 

The rest of the set was so savage that the players would forever be ashamed to remember that day. To Oikawa, everything after he first stepped on the court was a huge blur. He remembered making basic passes wrong, he remembered Kuroo asking him to stay on the bench, he remember some blood at some point when a particularly hard strike from an ace hit him face on. 

 

But he definitely remember his coach pushing him aside and telling him that he was on the bench for the next games of the University championship and for as far as the beginning of the national season.  Oikawa felt his stomach melt and dissolve on the floor. Maybe he just puked at some point. Who knows. He left the game venue feeling lost and broken, and on cleaning duty for the next three months. 

 

The road back to the dorms was a quick and silent one. Kenma somehow smuggled himself with the team members, not that anyone would actually care at that point. On their room, he helped Oikawa pick his stuff and even take a shower. When they came back, Kuroo had pushed the beds to the side and put both mattresses on the floor, making a very big bed on the small dorm room. Kuroo left for a shower himself and Kenma helped Oikawa get dressed, fumbling through Kuroo’s clothes to find one for himself. 

 

Oikawa snorted when he saw what shirt Kenma had chosen for him. It was the baggy “Iwa-chan shirt”. He sniffed at it a little and let a small sob escape from this throat. Kenma looked at him. The  _ perfect and gorgeous  _ Oikawa Tooru looked like a truck had run him over. Twice. Kenma reached a hand and tried to tame the wild strands of Oikawa’s hair. 

 

The more Kenma petted his head, more sobs left Oikawa’s throat, till he began to shed heavy tears. Clutching into Kenma’s shirt, Oikawa cried like a kid, snot coming out of his nose, saliva coming out of his mouth, and the loud hiccups and sobs reverberated across the tiny room. 

 

When Kuroo came back, both of them were sleeping soundly on the joined mattresses. Oikawa was still clutching Kenma’s shirt.

* * *

 

 

Right before getting in the night train to Tokyo, Iwaizumi fired a text to Kiyoko and asked her to fill him in. She sent him a 2 minute audio message with horrible details - and Hinata’s occasional comment - on what had to have been the worst game of Oikawa’s career. 

 

The train ran across the cities, but never fast enough. Iwaizumi was restless. He couldn’t get a single drop of sleep the whole night. So when he finally knocked on the door with his best friend name - and some other guy that he could only assume was the Nekoma dude - written on it, Iwaizumi was a fucking mess. 

 

It was 6 am. The whole dorm slept. Iwaizumi should have thought about trying to get the Nekoma’s dude phone. He has been trying to call Oikawa’s for three days now and his cell was always turned off. - He understood why auntie was so worried and, bless her soul, she was right. 

 

The door opened on the third knock. I kid who should be a middle schooler answered wearing… Was that a dress?

 

“Ah..” he began, a little embarrassed “Is this Oikawa’s room? I was sure I didn’t get it wrong…” Iwaizumi looked at the names on the door again. The kid narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“You actually came.”   _ Ah _ . _ The phone kid. Kenma right?  _  “Wait here a sec”

 

Kenma closed the door again and Iwaizumi could over hear some noise inside. A little bit after, the kid came out, dragging the Nekoma guy - Oikawa’s roommate - Iwaizumi looked at the door again - Kuroo. 

 

“Oh hello.. fuck Kenma do we really need to.. Ouch!” Kuroo stumbled on his feet, still trying to put some pants on. He looked at Iwaizumi up and down. “Nice to meet you,  _ Iwa-chan _ . You are a douche. OUChh! Kenma!”

 

The short blond kid kicked the insides of Kuroo’s knees. He looked at Iwaizumi in a way that made him feel extremely uncomfortable. 

 

“You  _ are _ a douche though.” he said, nodding his small head. “We will be going now. Kuroo will be back tomorrow.”

 

“I have stuff to do here, Kenma! Don’t kick me out of my own dorm.” they left bickering as they stepped down the empty hallway. 

 

Iwaizumi stared at the open door a little afraid. There was nothing but a looming darkness inside. He called out for Oikawa. Once. Twice. No answer. So he stepped forward, closing that door. 

* * *

 

Oikawa woke up but didn’t open his eyes. His head was pounding. 

 

There was a warm presence by his side, a familiar and comfortable scent played around his nose.  _ Iwa-chan’s smell.  _ He touched the shirt and sniffed at it a little. It smelled like laundry detergent.  _ I must be really fucked up, uh… _

 

He sat up, massaging his bruised eyes. Crying yourself to sleep gave you a huge headache in the morning. Oikawa should have known better. He patted the bed till he reached a bulge. _Was this Kuroo?_ _That fucker would have his ass for feeling him up - as unintentional as it was._

 

“Ku~uroo, wake your lazy ass up. What time is it?” everything was so dark in the room, Oikawa almost thought it was still night. “Captain-chan, yo. I need to make the walk of shame to the volleyball court and sell my ass to the coach. A good friend would come and cheer me on, you know?~~” 

 

“God fuck, Oikawa. You are so goddamn annoying in the morning. Shut the fuck up, I got no sleep last night”

 

Oikawa froze in place. Maybe he died from that ball to the face. Maybe he was abducted and the aliens made him go back in time. 

 

“Hajime?..” it was almost a whisper, almost wishful thinking.

 

“Sorry I’m not your jack ass roomate” Iwaizumi rolled around, fighting the sleep that threatened to kill him if he got up.

 

_ You could have been, though _

 

Oikawa couldn’t move, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Sad? Relieved? Happy?

 

He went with “angry”.

 

“What are you doing here,  _ Iwa-chan? _ ” It was dry. Bitter, even. 

 

“I felt like taking a midnight stroll, what d’ya think?!” Iwaizumi sat up as well. It was too dark to make up his best friend’s face. “I need to take a leak” 

 

He got up. Oikawa couldn’t. Stumbling a little, Iwaizumi made his way to the door, and then down the hall. By the time he got back the light was on and the room was somewhat in place. No mattress on the floor, although the beds were still not on their right positions.

 

Iwaizumi felt dumb for the third time. Oikawa was dressed with clean clothes and his hair was adorned by some pins, but overall in place - Kenma’s little accomplishment -. He got up and crossed the room, closing the door with a loud ‘bang’ as he passed it. 

 

“Well, that went smoothly” Iwaizumi sighed. 

* * *

 

Kuroo and Kenma road the bus home in silence. Kuroo’s head was lolling from time to time, but Kenma kept poking him awake. Once they reached their houses the both of them stood still. 

 

“I was thinking…” Kuroo began, with a yawn “It’s still so damn early…”

 

Kenma flipped his phone. It was 6h30 am. Really damn early. 

 

“Fine… But don’t make a sound. They think I’m at your place” he said, heading towards the back of his own house. 

 

Kuroo flashed a victory sign and celebrated in silent content, following Kenma close by. 

 

They broke into the house and, as quietly as possible, rushed upstairs to start the a.c. May was being a bitch this year with all the unwanted heat. Kuroo stretched in front of the cold air like a lazy cat and looked back to his friend, who was already getting rid of his baggy pants and socks and getting into the bed. 

 

Kuroo pressed his lips together.

 

“Are you sleeping like that?” he was still very much wearing Kuroo’s shirt. 

 

Kenma looked down at himself. 

 

“Does it look wierd?”

 

“hm no” He coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

 

“Then I’ll keep it” he reached for his game and started it. 

 

“Hey, I never said that you could keep it!” Kuroo made his way to the bed, taking this pants and socks off as well. He fumbled a little with the hem of his shirt, but pulled it off anyway. Kenma lifted his eyes and he shrugged. “It’s just too damn hot”

 

It wasn’t the first time they had slept like this, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Hell! They used to take baths together when they were kids! Although the thought of taking a bath with Kenma nowadays was more like…

 

He coughed again, interrupting the wandering thought. 

 

“You will catch a cold, Tetsuro.” 

 

_ Ah, there it was _ . For his ears only.

 

Kuroo felt his chest overflowing, and hugged his best friend by the waist, pulling him close. Kenma adjusted easily, still with his console in hand, laying on his side.  

 

“This way I won’t” he was sure Kenma could feel his heart thumping on his chest like a freaking drummer on coke. But moving was not an option. He rested his forehead on the crook of Kenma’s neck and sighed. 

* * *

 

Oikawa was slightly shaking. He knew the couldn’t simply leave Iwaizumi on his room, as much as he deserved just that. So he decided that he would first beg for his coach’s forgiveness and then he would deal with the  _ Best Friend Situation _ . 

 

He knocked at his coach’s door, almost timid, and pushed it opened. 

 

“You are early”

 

“hm Good mornin,g sir” Oikawa bowed down his head.  _ What could he say to fix this, what was there even to say _  “I know I wasn’t in my best performance last -”

 

“Kid, jump up that scale, will you?” the coach interrupted, pointing to the weighing-machine next to the door. 

 

Oikawa was confused, but he took his shoes off and did as told. 

 

“66kg” Coach noted “You lost 6kg, kid”

 

“hnn Now I can jump higher?” he let out a little laugh, but his coach stare was in no mood for jokes. 

 

“Oikawa, you make it for us to think that you take things lightly and that everything is ~ oh ~ so easy for you.” he made a move for Oikawa to put his shoes on again. “But don’t think for a minute that you fool me, kid. Changing is hard and you’ve been going through a lot of changes these past few months, haven’t you?”

 

“Isn’t that normal, coach? Change is a part of life.” he shrugged, smiling at the man. 

 

“Yes.” the coach put his two hands on Oikawa’s shoulders “And it’s also normal to ask for help when needed, kid.” 

 

“Aaah of course! I’ll be sure to ask!” he winked, but his coach didn’t move a muscle. 

 

“Oikawa…” there was a heavy sigh. Oikawa had never seen his coach sigh before. “We are a team. We go together. Either up or down. You have an amazing ability to sense the other players strongest points. But I know, son, that this comes only after a while. You need to get to know them, you need to play more with them. So don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

 

The coach took his hands off from the boy’s shoulders, there was a hard but almost paternal look on his face.

 

“You will get there, your own way, on your own time.” Oikawa’s fingers were shaking a little. “And you still have it, Oikawa. You still have time. You have all the time in the world.”

 

He patted his student’s head. 

  
“But until then, you will only play again after I deem you fit. And this won’t happen before you put on those 6kg back!” his voice was harsher, louder. Oikawa flinched. “Ah, don’t forget that you are on cleaning duty everyday starting tomorrow. You can have today off. Leave now.”

 

So he left.

 

 

Oikawa walked up the hallway letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. His whole body was still trembling. Everything came so naturally to him during the Seijou times. Sure, he trained a lot - maybe more than he should - but all just fit together. Now… Well, now he was staring at a wall of people who had whole lives he knew nothing about, who played in different ways and believed in different things. More than two times the amount of people on the Seijou volleyball team and all fished out of different high schools throughout the whole country. Oikawa would never be able to  _ get to know them  _ as he knew his friends back in his town. Speaking of which,  _ one particular friend _ was still waiting for him down his dorm room. 

 

Oikawa opened the door to his room and noticed that the beds were somewhat back at their designated spaces. With a very weird feeling in his gut, he watched Iwaizumi drool all over his pillow. 

 

He sat down by his friend side, all the pain from those past weeks jumping up his throat. Although Oikawa was hurt, angry even, just being around Iwaizumi made him feel more comfortable, complete. That’s why the feeling of _betrayal_ only grew on him. He let out a small whimper and covered his face with his hands before any tears fell off. 

“Oikawa… I’m sorry.” 

 

A hiccup left Oikawa’s throat, he felt the bed shift under him. 

 

“Tooru, I…”

 

“No. No, Iwa-chan! No!!” he looked up, his best friend’s face was tired, all marked by the hard lines on the pillowcase. He looked the same, yet so different. So unreachable. “You have no right! You came in like a trainwreck and missing a white horse and you think what? That I’m some girl who is gonna fall on your arms and all that shit?!”

 

Iwaizumi’s heart was beating out of synch. He didn’t know where to start. He felt like shit.

 

“No…” He bowed his head down “I just…”

 

_ How can he even explain it? How can he tell that person all of those hurtful things and still be able to breathe? _

 

“You lied to me! Then you just ignored me! Have you already forgotten all of our years together?” there was something poisonous under all of the hurt in Oikawa’s eyes. He wanted to bite back. “You were just waiting for me to leave, weren’t you? Because I’m always annoying you. Because you always have to stay behind and practice with me, or put bandaids on my stupid wounds, or what the fuck evers!” 

 

He got up, Iwaizumi followed. 

 

“Just let me be, Iwa-chan! Get the fuck out!”

 

“Are you done?” Oikawa looked at him, alarmed.  _ What was with this tone? _ “Now you listen to me.” he took both of Oikawa’s wrists on his hands. “I  _ am _ sorry, Tooru.”

 

He might as well start from the beginning.

 

“I am sorry I haven’t told you I flunked the exam and couldn’t get in T University with you... As we promised.” he looked deep into Oikawa’s glistening eyes “ I  _ am  _ sorry” 

 

Iwaizumi let out a breath and closed his eyes for a while, steadying himself. The silence in the room was cut only by Oikawa’s little hiccups.  

 

“You have to understand that this isn’t me excusing myself for something that I did  _ wrong _ . Because, although I  _ should have told you what happened _ , I was  _ hurting _ . I was hurting  _ bad.  _  There was  _ nothing in my life if you weren’t in it. _ Do you get how fuck up that is??” 

 

Oikawa’s eyes opened wide, he gasped, Iwaizumi grasped his wrists more tightly. 

 

“And I  _ am sorry _ for stopping answering your texts. I  _ am  _ sorry. But I just had to. I  _ had to learn  _  who I am without you, Oikawa, because we’ve been together for so long that I don’t fucking think I know anymore… I still don’t know.” 

 

He lifted his hands to cup his friend’s face, tracing the path of the tears with his thumb. 

 

“And look at you. You look like shit. You should be perfectly capable to take care of yourself. You are an adult now, Tooru. You shouldn’t need me to to remember you to eat or to easy up on the training. Do you think that this is what a healthy relationship looks like?” 

 

Iwaizumi let his hands drop to his friend’s arms and breastplate. A frown creased deep in between is brows.

 

“Are you even eating or you have just been training and watching recordings non stop?” Oikawa shrugged. Iwaizumi sighed. “Fuck, Tooru. Just… Fuck.”

 

Oikawa’s trembling hands came to envelop his friend’s waist and he rested his forehead on Iwaizumi’s broad shoulders. “You suck, Iwa-chan…” he sniffed

 

Iwaizumi embraced him by his lower back and, for a while, the both of them just stand still. 

 

No more words were needed


	4. Not your life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi is having a blast living with Oikawa and training with the team. That was until someone decided to make a reality check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to upload this omg

It was a very lazy sunday afternoon. There was a way too many plates of food atop the coffee table on Kuroo’s family home. Around the table, four people chatted. Well, one person did all the actual talking, with mimics.

 

“And then and theeeen ~~~ He said  _ You shouldn’t need me to take care of you, but I’ll be here anyway _ !” Oikawa dropped on one knee and dried a fake tear out of his eyes. “So manly, my Iwa-chan! I’m changing his contact name to Prince Charming~~~”

 

Kuroo snickered, filling up his bowl of rice again. 

 

“Change it to ‘Wonder boy”” Kenma let out a breathy little laugh at Kuroo’s suggestion. 

 

“Oooooh~~ Nice! Nice!” Oikawa immediately picked up his new phone, much to Iwaizumi’s distaste. 

 

“I hope the both of you go bald” Iwaizumi said, mater of the factly. Kenma laughed again “You too, shorty. I can see you are enjoying this as much as they are”

 

Kenma frowned, giving Iwaizumi a poignant. Then he let his brows arch and shifted a little in his place and looked down at his game. 

 

“Right, I have to leave in a few”

 

“Uh? Where to, Kitten?” Oikawa snorted, Kuroo mumbled. 

 

“Training camp with Karasuno” Kenma looked up straight into Iwaizumi’s eyes. He gulped. 

 

“Karasuno is still here?”

 

“Yes, their coach figured since the spring tournament is over and they were basically all here we should take the chance.” there was a small, almost devilish smile, on the younger boy’s lips. 

 

Kuroo got up, suddenly really excited. 

 

“We should stop by one of the days and hand those high schoolers their asses as gifts!” 

 

“On the training camp?” Iwaizumi asked, a little wary

 

“Hell to the YEAAH! A little more training can’t hurt, right?! And Grand King of the Timeout here is on probation, so?” Kuroo started gathering the dirty dishes, kicking Oikawa’s bad knee on the way. 

 

“Ouch, hey!” the setter made a face at his friend, but the idea was too exciting to pass on  “Captain-san! You are a genius!” Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi with shiny eyes “Oh, Iwa-chan, let’s go! Just one little day can’t hurt, right?”

 

Kenma snorted and Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at him.  _ That little shit. _

  
  


In no time was settled that they would all be going the day after tomorrow. Someone remembered to call the older Karasuno players, who were also attending the T University, and they made plans to surprise everyone. 

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were on their way back to the dorms when Iwaizumi stopped on his tracks, looking down.

 

“What is it, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa was happy. So very happy. Iwaizumi felt like he would kill Kenma next time he saw him.

 

“Oikawa there’s something I forgot to mention…” he began, already sure he would sleep with his back burning up from punches. 

 

“Eeeeeeh This is never a good thing coming from you.” Oikawa frowned 

 

“I am kind of seeing someone.” 

 

“What?? Right now??” Oikawa looked around “Do you see dead people, Iwa-chan?! And all this time you just told me now?! How mean!”

 

“No!  _ Oh my god _ Oikawa! I am  _ dating! _ I am  _ dating somebody!!” _ he yelled, exasperated. 

 

Oikawa stopped, bowing his head just a little bit. A large smile spread over his features.

 

“Is that the girl who has been making you ditch my texts? How mean of her.” his eyes were cold, but there was playful teasing on this tone. “I’ll be sure to challenge her for a duel. Maybe milk bread eating contest?” he laughed lowly “You have to answer all the texts from whoever wins, ok~ay?” Oikawa winked and turned his back to his friend, continuing on his path to the dorms.

 

Iwaizumi stood his ground, unsure of what to do.  _ What did he expect, after all? _

 

Oikawa half turned around upon noticing that Iwaizumi did move and, with a low and husky voice, he asked “Are you going to just stand there?”

 

Iwaizumi mumbled something incoherent and followed his friend with large steps. Oikawa was suddenly back to his cheery self, going on and on about his first day back at practice -  _ It is tomorrow, you know -  _ and how Iwaizumi should go and cheer him on -  _ Because my coach hates me and Iwa-chan’s face can scare him away - _ . Iwaizumi only listened to his insistent chatter, grunting and  _ tscking _ here and there. Was only when Oikawa decided to head to the showers that Iwaizumi let out a breath and picked up his phone. 

 

[Kiyoko, are you still in Tokyo with the Karasunos?]

  
He paced around the room, chewing on his bottom lip and staring at the screen. Soon enough came the reply

 

_ [Yes, I’m helping them with the training camp. I suppose you are still around as well?] _

 

Iwaizumi hadn’t really put that much thought on a date to leave. He had informed the coach back at Seijou that he should be out for a week or so, but he could as easily let him know he would be staying a little longer. Kuroo had gladly given him his bed, commuting to school from his own house. So, at least for now, all was well.

 

[Yes. And those dorks want to surprise the teams at the training camp]

He sighed

[I guess I will see you soon, then]

 

Her reply was a short “See you soon” and Iwaizumi put his phone away, feeling a little more at ease with his own consciousness. Kiyoko was a very good girlfriend and extremely easy to handle -  _ unlike other people -  _ he thought, staring at the dorm door. 

 

He prayed for all the gods out there for Oikawa to behave during his time together with Kiyoko.  _ As if… _

 

Iwaizumi let his head drop in defeat. 

  
  


Oikawa woke up even earlier than needed, urging Iwaizumi out of bed as well. As expected, when they reached the University’s volleyball court, not a single soul was around. Oikawa made a quick work out of the ball’s cart and pushed it in his friends direction. 

 

“You look so happy it’s almost gross” Iwaizumi made a face at him, reaching for one of the balls and getting in position. 

 

Oikawa as positively glowing as he took his place by the net. 

 

“I’m sure Iwa-chan is gonna make me even happier now” He smiled, but it wasn’t the aloof, dork smile anymore. Oikawa’s eyes were serious, confident. Suddenly Iwaizumi felt himself being transported all the way back to their Seijou days. A shiver ran up his spine. 

 

He threw the ball in the perfect angle for Oikawa to toss to him and, with a smooth motion, the ball was already as high as Iwaizumi liked best. It hit the other side of the court with a loud  _ thump  _

 

Silence stretch over the place, the ball was still rolling its way to the back of the court. Iwaizumi looked down at his hand.  _ Ah… _ It burned a little, tingling from the aftermath of the hit. He looked up at Oikawa, who shifted his attentions to him at the same time. They both nodded their heads. 

 

“Once more…” 

 

Neither was sure who called it, but they did again, and again, and again. Both hearts beating to the same rhythm. 

  
  


They threw some ball around for a good hour before practice started and Iwaizumi had to leave to the bleachers. The coach had arrived first, assessing them a little before telling them to chill and get to their designed places. Universities teams were huge, easily reaching 30 players at time. 

 

But all of them - minus Kuroo, of course - seemed a little wary of Oikawa. Iwaizumi thought it was to be expected, considering the huge fiasco at the game against K University. But he knew that if Oikawa didn’t have his teammates trust, there was no way he would be able to make proper tosses. And that was evident from the mistakes on the spike training that had just begun.  _ Snowball effect uh… _

 

The coach blew at the whistle. 

 

“Alright, let’s divide in four teams and have practice matches.” 

 

Oikawa furrowed his brows. He was put with the sophomores. Kuroo was on the team playing against him. Iwaizumi sighed, already foreseeing the same miscommunications happening during the practice match.  _ That has got to be hard on him, Oikawa had always had his team full trust. _

 

As expected, many basic tosses were made wrong. Oikawa was getting increasingly nervous. Their team had just missed out on what would have been a very easy receive. Messing up with a team confidence like that messed up all the balance as well. And then, everything would go to hell.

 

“Hey!” The coach yelled from the bench “Number 12, Henmi-kun! Get out and run around the court! That receive was bad enough for you to deserve it.” 

 

Henmi got out, giving Oikawa the stink eye. The coach seem to ponder for a while but then he glanced up at Iwaizumi on the bleachers. He smiled.

 

“You! Since you are intruding anyway, come and make yourself useful.” he barked. 

 

Oikawa could barely contain his excitement as Iwaizumi put on a training vest and stepped on court with him. He gave Iwaizumi a quick smile and assumed his position again. Iwaizumi took in a deep breath. He had just stepped in the wing spiker place. A grin spread across his face. 

 

Kuroo hummed on the other side and looked back at his teammates. 

 

“You guys better watch out”

 

The coach blew the whistle again and everything shifted to place. 

 

Oikawa’s whole demeanor changed. His tosses became more precise. His voice, louder. Iwaizumi would yell at him for tosses and each and every time it would be a perfect spike. The other players started to get restless, yelling directions and commands as well. In a particular tough block rotation, Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa and, without even using a decoy, Oikawa sent him a middle height ball, right on the block’s faces. Iwaizumi hit that ball hard enough for it to kick as it reached the floor on the other side of the net. 

 

The silence that dragged was cut by a soft “Holy shit” from Henmi. Then, all the players on their side were cheering. They were yelling for Oikawa do send them balls like that and teaching him how high or how fast they liked it best. The boy had a shit eating grin on his face. 

 

Iwaizumi watched the exchange with a feeling of fondness flooding his heart.

* * *

 

“Ah, there you are”

Iwaizumi looked up from the drinking fountain and immediately went stiff when he saw T’s Coach approaching him. 

“Sir, I’m sorry I intruded this morning”

The Coach shook his head at the boy.

“You were Aobajousai’s number 4, right? The Ace.” Iwaizumi looked down, but nodded his head, feeling somewhat embarrassed. 

“Iwaizumi Hajime, sir” 

“Right…. Iwaizumi-kun, you are a very good player” Iwaizumi tried not to make a face at him  _ Well you didn’t seem to think so back then, _ he refrained from saying. “But I believe you would be an even better coach.”

_ He what now? _

T’s coach barked a laugh, putting a fatherly hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulders. 

“You have a very good technique. Also, there’s just something about you that people respect instantly.” he coocked his head. “And you gather people around you. You boost them up.”

Iwaizumi coughed to hide his ever growing embarrassment and mumbled a quiet thank you. 

“Oh, and Aobajousai’s Coach told me you’ve been helping them out.” Iwaizumi looked up  _ wtf was there a coaches gossip network or something??  _ “He seemed very pissed at me for some reason, saying that I had stolen you for the week.” 

T’s Coach laughed again, making Iwaizumi’s whole body juggle on the process. 

“Of course I understand now.” He gave a light pat on Iwaizumi’s shoulders “You are welcome at my court anytime.” 

He turned to leave, but stopped midway. 

“Oh! And talk to me if you ever want to became an assistant coach. I can hook you up with some people.” there was a very fond smile on the coach’s lips “You don’t have to give this up, Iwaizumi-kun.”

He walked away, leaving a bewildered Iwaizumi alone by the drinking fountain. 

* * *

 

Oikawa was in high spirits. A way too high spirits. Iwaizumi just glared at him as he bounced up and down Kuroo’s bed - Iwaizumi’s bed for the time being. 

“We should watch something. Oh! How about we watch that Transformers movie?!” Iwaizumi pushed his friend away with his foot. 

“No. Go to bed. You had a big day today with the whole volleyball team falling on your feet and tomorrow we are crashing the kid’s training camp right?”

Oikawa took Iwaizumi’s foot on his hand, giving him a little massage and humming. 

“Yes yes yes! They all finally realized the power of the great Oikawa-san” Iwaizumi was going to retort, but was stopped in the middle by a rough pull on his foot. The boy was almost straddling Oikawa now. “You know, Iwa-chan. It was all because of you.”

_ Ah! There it is. _ Oikawa squinted his eyes a little, they were shining, the small curved up smile on the tips of his lips and the shoulders pushed up just a bit. Oikawa looked  _ really  _ cute like that.  _ That fucker. _

Worst of all, Iwaizumi knew his friend wasn’t even aware of it. So he dutifully turned his head away and mumbled some insults with no real anger behind them. Oikawa was so happy that Iwaizumi would let him do just whatever he wanted, as long as he kept that bashful smile on his face. His true smile, the one that was meant for Iwaizumi only. 

He fell by Iwaizumi’s side, in between him and the wall. 

“Go to your own bed, Trashykawa. This one is too small”

Oikawa nuzzled on his neck and let out a breathy laugh. 

“I think this one is fine enough.” he wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s left one.

_ That is unfair _ . Iwaizumi sighed. Oikawa turned back to their childhood behavior every time something either extremely happy or extremely sad happened. They slept together like that the night they lost to Ushijima, back in middle school, and the night Oikawa first received the news of his invitation to Tokyo’s University volleyball team. With Oikawa was always like that, no middle ground. All or nothing. 

His friend’s breathing even out and Iwaizumi dared to look at him. Oikawa had already managed to gain half his lost weight back, but his face was still so sharp. Iwaizumi caught himself thinking that his friend’s face was prettier then than it was now, healthier, fuller. He caressed lightly Oikawa’s cheeks with the back of his right hand. He knew that so many people would kill to be by Oikawa’s side like that. He felt a little prideful that he was the only one who could. 

“There you go making me think this kind of crap again, idiot” he whispered, knocking lightly on the other’s head.

  
Oikawa let out a whine followed by a  _ Iwa-chan, so mean. I’m not into kinky play  _ and dragged his head to rest over Iwaizumi’s chest. He glared, waiting for Oikawa to make himself comfortable, and then murmured  _ Yeah, right _ turning his head to rest atop of his friend’s, drifting into deep sleep. 

* * *

 

Turns out that the surprise was spoiled and everyone were already expecting them at the training grounds. Iwaizumi was still glad, though, he got to play volleyball all day long with a bunch of tough guys for two days in a roll. Somehow, he felt like everything was right, like everything was just like it was supposed to be. 

The sun was setting when all of the teams went outside to share food and notes about the overall training. Iwaizumi hadn’t had the opportunity to say more than ‘hi’ to his girlfriend yet, so the two of them took the time to walk together around the training grounds.

It was still easy… Being with Kiyoko. But he didn’t know why he felt guilt build up inside his heart. He had never felt anything negative when chatting or eating with her, so he rubbed his chest, trying to shake the feeling off as just an odd day.

“Are you feeling alright, Iwaizumi?”  _ Yes, Iwaizumi was lucky _

“Hnnnn I guess I haven’t had that much intense training in a while.” he tried to shrug it off, looking sideways. Iwaizumi knew he was a bad liar. 

“Have you been training with Oikawa-san as well?” 

He nodded. They were far back now, the others probably wouldn’t be able to hear them out. The sun was laying down behind a mountain top straight ahead from them. The view was gorgeous. The chill of the imminent night alleviate the spring’s harsh day sun. Iwaizumi drew closer to Kiyoko.

“That must bring back a lot of memories for you” she smiled at him, resting a hand on his chest “I have to say I was surprised to know that you came to Tokyo as well” Kiyoko clutched his shirt on her balled hand, not meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes. “I get that you and Oikawa-san are really good friends but did you really have to come? Aren’t you the assistant coach on Seijou now?”

Iwaizumi frowned at her, not sure what to make of this.

  
“I’m just filling in. It’s not like I’m really part of the team again.” he cocked his head, trying to catch her sight. “And you saw the game right? Of course I had to come. I had to say that I was sorry for not being there for him.”

Kiyoko sighed. A heavy and deep breath making her chest wave. She looked up at him.

“You could have said that on the phone, right? Next time he has another break down are you going to leave everything and came to Tokyo again?”

“Why are you being like this? Who says he is going to have another break down? And I didn’t… leave everything…”

His girlfriend’s eyes were blank staring back at him. Iwaizumi took a step back from her. Something deep within him was very unnerved by the suggestion. Kiyoko pressed her lips together and took her glasses off, cleaning it on the hem of her shirt.

“I understand, Iwaizumi, that you feel good here.” she looked straight at his eyes “But you can’t pretend that you and Oikawa-san play volleyball together and you live in T University’s dorms with him.”

“I’m not doing that! You don’t even know what you are saying…” his heart was pounding loudly, he felt something tug at it.  

Yesterday was so much fun, and today too. Everything was so peaceful and he felt like he had a purpose in life again, not just wandering uselessly around his mother’s house. He even got a compliment from T’s coach.  _ How dare she say these things? _

  
“Iwaizumi...This is  _ not _ your life.”

* * *

 

“Tooru… what are you doing?”

Oikawa jumped away from the wall he was hiding behind. Kenma looked up at him with both brows arched. Oikawa opened and closed his mouth, laughing a little. 

“It’s really nothing, Kenma-chan! We should go back already, right?!” he fidget and Kenma narrowed his eyes, moving a bit to the left to be able to see what Oikawa was looking at. 

_ Oh. _

“Are you spying on Iwaizumi-san?”

Oikawa frowned. 

“I’ll have you know that this is called  _ looking after a dear friend _ ” there was a huge pout on Oikawa’s lips.

“Well.. You better  _ look after _ a little closer, because your  _ friend  _ is getting away.” Kenma pointed to where Iwaizumi and Kiyoko where turning to access the mountain view. 

“Shit!” 

“What are you guys doing?”  Kuroo stepped from behind the wall, making Oikawa almost fall back.

“Jesus fuck, Kuroo! What the hell were you doing there?” Oikawa put a hand over his chest, trying to calm himself down. 

“I was taking a leak.”

“Ew, Captain-chan! You are so gross, you know! Use a bathroom!!”

They had all advanced more into the mountain view when Kenma gasped. Iwaizumi had taken two steps away from Kiyoko and seemed to be really disturbed. They talked some more and then Iwaizumi was turning around while his girlfriend still talked. There was a lost look on his face. 

Behind Kenma, Kuroo and Oikawa were bickering. 

“Hnn… Iwaizumi is coming back” he murmured, without taking his eyes off the boy’s disturbed form. 

Suddenly, Oikawa was very alarmed, pushing both of them out of the way and hunching behind a trashcan.

“This is bad! Captain-chan, you have to do something!!”

Kuroo, still very much standing, opened both of his palms upwards and, with a grin, said:

  
“What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?”

Kenma snorted and looked up to Kuroo

  
“Maybe Iwaizumi is achin' for some bacon”

Oikawa looked at the two of them just lost in their little world, reciting old ass lyrics to each other as his best friend approached them without seeing. 

“How the fuck do you guys even function with other people?!”

“I could ask you the same thing, my friend.” Kuroo laughed, putting a hand on Kenma’s shoulders. “but fear not,  _ Oh trash king,  _ I’ll handle this. Kenma…” he looked at his friend dead in the eye “You handle this!”

Kenma sighed, but still went over to where Iwaizumi was walking. No Kiyoko in sight, though

“Don’t worry, buddy. You’ve got a friend in me” Kuroo turned to Oikawa, offering a hand

“And  _ you  _ will have a very friendly foot up your butt if you don’t stop this shit, Captain-chan”

  
Oikawa gave a rough push on Kuroo’s shoulders towards the trashcan. Kuroo tripped and fell with a  _ thud, _ clutching the bin.

* * *

 

There was a loud noise of yelling and crumbling stuff. Iwaizumi looked up and almost tripped over his own feet when he saw Kenma standing there. 

“Jesus fuck, Kenma! You almost made me have a heart attack!”

Kenma hummed, rolling on the balls of his feet.

  
“Where’s Kiyoko-san?” Iwaizumi frowned at him

“Just right there” he nudged to the back of the gymnasium with his head.

“Did you guys break up?”

“What?! No!”  _ right?  _ “We just...Anyway! What’s with you?!!” Iwaizumi glared at him and kept walking, Kenma followed suit. 

“Nothing really. I was just thinking that today was fun…” 

He trailed off, looking at the ground. Iwaizumi shifted his eyes to him, easing up on the mean look. Kenma looked just like a kid when he acted like that. 

“Kuroo told me you were at practice yesterday too. That Tooru made all the passes right and you guys’ team won the practice match.” his golden eyes darted to Iwaizumi’s face. “Today too. Tooru was good. He seemed happy.”

Iwaizumi coughed, a little embarrassed, and put one hand over his face to hide the blush threatening to flourish over his cheeks. 

“Ah.. Is that so?..” Kenma smiled a little

“un… I think it’s because Hajime is here.” Iwaizumi stopped on his tracks, looking at Kenma with wide eyes. “So hnn… Thank you. I asked and… I’m glad you came. I think Tooru is going to be alright now.”

Kenma was still smiling, a shy and soft smile. But Iwaizumi could understand the sheer amount of fondness the blond felt for his friend. And with so, he let out a breath, feeling relief flood through him. Iwaizumi tightened his lips, the talk with Kiyoko and the memory of Kenma’s call… He knew why he was here.

“I guess this means I can go now…”

Kenma nodded, closing his hand behind his back. “If you want to”

_ Did he want to? _

Iwaizumi balled his hands on fists. There was a sting on his eyes, so he looked down, avoiding Kenma’s clear stare. His throat felt rasp. 

“Hn you know.. T’s coach told me that I’d make a good coach someday.”

Kenma walked slowly, till he was in front of the older boy.

“I think so too.” he reached his hands around Iwaizumi’s balled ones “I’ve seen you during games and I’ve seen you today. T’s coach is right.”

Iwaizumi bit down his lip. 

“yeah maybe…”

“I can help you look up college programs for that” Iwaizumi lifted his head to look at Kenma, his eyeball was red, but in Kenma’s face there was just a blank understanding

“Is that even a thing?” He laughed, coughing a little in the middle of it, feeling his choked out throat start to close on him.

“I’ll find out”

Kenma nodded. Iwaizumi laughed again, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks.

  
  
  


Iwaizumi went back to his hometown the day after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so nice to write them together :(  
> Also I'm a strong believer that Kuroo and Kenma have all sorts of Disney inside jokes. 
> 
> funfact: Henmi is a character from Yokozawa Takafumi no Baai and I was never able to get his name out of my head.


	5. They have a word for that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa discovers YOI, Iwaizumi has a new goal in life and Kenma is just done with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i was so busy i forgot to upload this lol i'm so sorry.
> 
> thanks for almost 400 hits! 
> 
> as usual point out any mistakes you can find, please.

Oikawa pouted, wiggling his feet. 

 

“What are you doing, Grand King? We have practice in five” Kuroo looked at him while pulling his shorts up. Oikawa made a face. “Are you going to ditch practice just because your mom isn’t here anymore?”

 

Kuroo grinned at the exasperated expression on his friend’s face and messed a little with his hair. Oikawa batted the man’s hand away. 

 

“Jesus, Captain-chan! Iwa-chan is not my mom!”

 

“Then stopping fulfilling your obligations only when he is here to check up on you.” there was a rash undertone on Kuroo’s words. The look he directed to Oikawa was a stern one. 

 

Oikawa clicked his tongue and got up, reaching for his volleyball stuff.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi was back at Aobajosai feeling a little self conscious. Everyone welcomed him back like the second coming of Jesus. Being without the assistant coach was taking its toll on the team. They had placed third in the spring tournament - losing to Karasuno yet again - and everybody was agitated with a new found rival spirit towards the other High School. 

Watari walked over to him in the middle of practice. The shorter boy was fidgeting, opening and closing his mouth without speaking. Iwaizumi _ glared it out _ of him. “So the game with Karasuno was a disaster uh? I guess I’m not able to fill Oikawa-san shoes” he clenched his hands into fists “Of course I could never reach his level, but.. I’m afraid that the team morale will fall without his skill to boost us up”

Iwaizumi turned to Watari and put one hand on his shoulder. He was glad that the team looked up to Oikawa still, but Iwaizumi felt that this unreachable place people used to put the man in was not only hurtful ( for both Oikawa and the people who looked up to him) but not actually real. He sighed.

“Look, Watari. You know I just came from Tokyo, right? Do you know what I was doing there?” Watari shook his head sideways “Picking up Oikawa’s sorry ass.”

Watari frowned and took a step back. Behind them the whole team was doing practice serves, balls flying everywhere on the court. 

“He is just a regular guy, you know? He stumbles a little in the middle of the road like everyone else. Don’t get all worked up thinking that you can never  _ fill his shoes  _ or whatever.” Iwaizumi gave a small nod and curved up the tip of his lips, shaking Watari.  “Study and practice and get to know your teammates. You will be just as good as he is… Maybe better.” 

Watari looked at the ground with wide eyes, slowly nodding and mumbling something about getting back to work. Iwaizumi watched the boy go feeling somewhat satisfied with himself. Karasuno was going to be tough as nails to beat, and it was true that the morale of Seijou’s team had sunked a little without their star player on the field, but Iwaizumi knew more than anyone that Oikawa was more a myth than a genius.  _ But the ‘genius’ part was within him for sure _ .

“Iwaizumi-kun” Seijou’s coach reached him from behind, making Iwaizumi jolt out of his inner conversation. “You came back a little different.”

There was a smile on the coach’s lips. A tender and fatherly one. Iwaizumi didn’t feel different, though. What he felt was a pain in the ass for having to answer Oikawa’s every text within seconds or his friend would emotionally blackmail him into answering.  _ On a second thought, Oikawa was a smartass douchebag. ‘Genius’ was a too nice name to call him.  _

“What you just said to Watari was very good. The team has been a little at loss these days.” the coach coughed a little, looking back at his team “You know, T’s Coach told me about a very interesting talk he had with you.”

Iwaizumi was right, then,  _ there was a coach gossip network! _

“I was thinking, since our assistant coach quit and the nationals are coming up..” he turned back to Iwaizumi “I imagine it’s a good idea to talk to the school and have you intern as an assistant coach for the summer. What do you say?” Iwaizumi held in his breath. “The pay is not much, you should know, and you need to be here everyday…”

“Yes.” Iwaizumi cut him, feeling the knot on his throat constrict somewhat. 

“You sure, kid?”

Iwaizumi looked back at Kindaichi and Watari bickering about a pass gone wrong. He let a smile stretch his features and nodded. Yes, he was sure.

* * *

 

Kenma left Nekoma’s practice straight to Kuroo and Oikawa’s dorm room. He opened the door to find both man fighting for control of the notebook. There was yelling and pillow throwing and  _ I’m not going to watch your kid’s cartoon, Kuroo! I want to watch Independence Day, Jesus!  _ Kenma considered just taking two steps back and going home altogether. 

Oikawa turned to him in the middle of his yelling.

“Pudding-chan! You tell your husband that he watched enough anime for a decade and I want to use the notebook! Teeeeeeeell him”

Oikawa was whining. A whining Oikawa was on the top 10 most annoying things on Kenma’s list, losing only to headphones with one side broken and early morning practice. He glared at Kuroo and passed by the two men, sitting on the bed and pulling his 3DS and headphones out.

“Kenma, tell the  _ Trash King _ that he is going to love this and thank me for the rest of his _ trash life _ !”

The yelling started again. Maybe Kenma  _ should  _ go home, there’s no way his headphone was good enough to muffle two adult-childs yelling about who’s turn was it to play with the notebook. So, Kenma looked at the screen.

It was the anime that Kuroo had watched about 3 times since last December. Kenma was low-key glad that his friend had chosen another person to bother about watching a fourth time. 

“That is actually a great cartoon” he said then, smiling a little - more to his own thoughts than the two idiots in front of him.

Oikawa looked at Kenma like he just had committed high treason. Kenma felt like he might just as well have - by Oikawa’s book.

“I don’t wanna ~~ ~”

Kuroo batted Oikawa’s hands away from the keyboard and pressed play. Soon a cherry music invaded the small room. 

“Shut up, this shit is gold. Sit your ass and thank me later” Kuroo gave Oikawa a huge smile and went to sit beside Kenma, who was already with his headphones on again, playing on the 3DS.

  
  


Four episodes later Oikawa was beaming at the screen. 

“This is pure magic. I wanna be Viktor when I grow up”

Kuroo laughed out loud. He ditched the cocky  _ I was right _ attitude on the perspective of gushing about the anime with a new found fan. The episode ending flashcards made the room glow.

“Oh! Are they going to kiss? That poor Katsudon kid is so much in love I don’t know how he doesn’t trip on his skates” Oikawa hummed to the tune of the ending song, juggling his toes happily.

“I’m not gonna spoil this for you. You have to watch it! It’s like the best part or something.” Kuroo gave a playful kick on his friend’s legs, before getting up to set up the next episode. “And for fucks sake, Oikawa! His name is on the title, man. Learn it already!”

Kenma rolled his eyes, yawning.

“Please, learn the name. He won’t shut up til you learn the name”

“What, Kenma! This is a classic, my friend. It’s love on ice.” Kuroo turned to him, sputtering. Kenma just sighed and got more comfortable on the bed, having accepted his fate a long time ago.  

Oikawa watched the screen as it lit up with the anime title once more.

“You know, there was a kid back in Aobajosai who confessed to me. His name was also Yuuri” he rested his chin on his knees

“Looks like you lost your chance to have yourself a Katsudon” Kenma said quietly. Kuroo barked, returning to bed. 

Oikawa blushed, mildly annoyed. 

“I’ve had some guys confess to me, but I never really said yes to dating them, you know?” he pondered for a while, the cartoon no more than a background noise now.

“Well, maybe you just haven’t found  _ the one _ ” Kuroo dried a fake tear “Don’t lose hope, my friend”

Oikawa stared at him dead in the eye

“I like girls, Kuroo”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t like guys, though” Kenma perked up, searching for the game he gave up on around the second episode. “it’s not like loving either gender is mutually exclusive. Kuroo was just joking, but maybe he is right.” he turned the 3DS on and glanced up at Oikawa. “Maybe you just haven’t found  _ the one _ ”

Oikawa furrowed his brows and shook his head

“That sounds a little crazy. I can’t imagine kissing a guy.” he turned to Kuroo, who was uncharacteristically quiet “Have you ever kissed a guy, Captain-chan you?”

Kuroo jolted and started blabbing some stuff Oikawa couldn’t even understand

“...And liking that cartoon doesn’t make me gay, man.” he shifted a little on the bed and waved his hand at Oikawa, who narrowed his eyes at him.

“I’m not saying that… Maybe you are half gay, like Kenma said”

“Bisexual” Kenma corrected. 

“Oh, they have a word for that!” Kenma scoffed, Oikawa turned to him “Hey, pudding-chan”  _ here we go  _ “Are you half-.. bisexual?”

Kenma shrugged, without taking his eyes off the game. “I guess”

“THEN…” Oikawa perked up, almost beaming at Kenma “have YOU ever kissed a guy?”

Kenma stilled for a second and then shrugged again. “I guess”

“WhOAAaa there, Kenma-chan! Who was it? How was it?” and then, more decidedly “Was it better than kissing a girl?”

“It’s not like that” Kenma sighed, giving up on his game and looking up at Oikawa. By his side, Kuroo turned to him.

“Wait! You’ve kissed a girl?!” Kenma looked at him sideways, Kuroo had a little redness creeping up his neck, but his mouth was turned down. 

“More like _ been kissed by one _ .”

“Then it doesn’t count, does it?” Oikawa said, very matter of factly. “You have to want it! It has to be somebody you like! Otherwise it’s just rude and unpleasant.” he himself had been kissed by force by a girl or two back in his middle school days. Oikawa shivered at the thought. 

Kuroo pouted and said, very quietly “I don’t think it counts either”

“There was never a guy like that for you, Tooru?” Oikawa pondered for a while “Or just a person that you were wondering how kissing them would feel like?”

“Maybe..” he scratched his head, searching.

“What about Hajime?” Kenma offered.

Oikawa scoffed and waved a hand at Kenma

“Oh, Kenma-chan! Iwa-chan is basically me. Kissing him would be like kissing myself!” he stopped “A little hot, but overall gross.”

Oikawa offered a grin at the disgusted face Kenma made. 

“But aren’t you guys like childhood friends? You’ve never kissed?” Kuroo was mildly impressed. 

“Well, I mean…” Oikawa coughed, embarrassed at the memory he had stored away so carefully. “Back in middle school I guess I tried to convince Iwa-chan to practice kiss with me?” he laughed it off, nervousness taking over. 

“I’m guessing you got your pretty ass rejected” 

A pillow was thrown across the room. 

* * *

 

_ [Iwa-chan, do you remember back in middle school when we almost kissed? It just occurred me that you were really mean in rejecting me that time, you know. (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥) ] _

Iwaizumi almost sputtered his drink after reading the text.  _ What the hell was this out of nowhere _ . His phone chimed again.

_ [I think that you should buy me milk bread to make up for it. !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑] _

_ That little fucker. _

“Is that Oikawa-san?” Watari was stretching next to him “The preliminaries for the nationals are getting close for the Universities too. How is he doing?”

Iwaizumi had totally forgotten about that. The high school preliminaries were so close that it was the only thing he was thinking about. Ever since his talk with T University’s Coach, the perspective of a future in volleyball was growing deeper and deeper within him, and Iwaizumi wanted to give his best for Aobajosai now. 

If he could, then maybe the T’s Coach could be right and he could pursue this more professionally. But first his former team would have to go through their own qualifiers. Oikawa and his middle school blackmail could wait.

* * *

 

Oikawa said his goodbyes after having dinner with teammates and hurried inside the store in front of him. Kuroo had gone back to the dorms with the rest of the T’s team, leaving Oikawa in peace to shop to his leasure. Which was exactly perfect, because he knew Kuroo would have his ass for what he was about to buy anyway.

He flipped up his phone and gave the cashier a flirty smile as he waited for his purchase to be  _ appropriately  _ wrapped up.  __ He pressed the number 4 on speed dial and waited.

“ _ It’s late.” _

A slow and happy smile stretched over Oikawa’s face. It might be a little under 10 days since he last saw his best friend, but his voice was a constant ring on his ears. Oikawa tapped his fingers against the glass counter and gave the cashier another reassuring smile. 

“How is the second most awesome birthday boy?”

He heard a shuffled on the other side of the line.

_ “It’s not your birthday... It’s not mine either” _ Iwaizumi grunted and Oikawa heard the sheets shifting. He looked up to the clock on the store’s wall.

“Well, that’s just a matter of a couple of hours, right? Bes~~~~iiides” the setter clutched his phone closer to his ear “I wanted to be the first, you know?”

Iwaizumi grunted on the other side of the line. Oikawa’s features changed abruptly, making the cashier hold back the package in front of him. 

“I guess I wasn’t the first, uh”

_ “I had dinner with Kiyoko.” _

“Ah. I see.” Oikawa gave a toothy grin to the cashier and picked up the package himself, stumbling a little on his way out. “Well, I got you something so next time you are here be sure to pick it up, ok~ay?

_ “I’ll be there in the beginning of July, if all goes well and Seijou gets a place at the nationals” _

“Well, I’m sure it will ended up fine. Good night now”

_ “Oikaw-” _

  
  


Oikawa closed down his phone and took in large gulps for air, trying to ease the heavy weight of the package on his hands. He opened his phone again and fired a quick text.

Not long after Kenma opened his house door to find Oikawa hunched down, cursing at a small cage.  The blond boy sighed and let his shoulders drop. That was going to be a long night.  

* * *

 

Kuroo was standing up, watching as Kenma and Oikawa passed around a small greenish lizard. His face scrunched up, and he dropped the newspapers he was asked to bring on the floor, taking two steps back.

“I don’t know what this is and I sure as hell don’t want to know.” Oikawa let out a mocking ‘oh hoho’, giving the lizard back to Kenma and getting himself up, reaching for the newcomer. “Go away, Oikawa! Don’t touch me with those dirty lizard hands!!”

The man laughed out loud and picked up the newspapers, turning back and setting it up on the floor of the small cage that housed the pet lizard. 

“Hey, this is Iwa-chan’s birthday gift! You should treat him with respect, you know!” Oikawa slowly turned his head to Kuroo “or he might just eat you up.”

“Is this why you didn’t show up at our dorm yesterday?” Kuroo made a face, taking yet another step back “Don’t bring that  _ thing  _ back with you, ok?!”

“It’s just a bearded dragon, Kuroo. He won’t grow enough to eat you. Tooru is just being silly.” Kenma knitted his brows and closed his lips, like he couldn’t even believe he had to say that. 

Oikawa took the small lizard from him and proceeded to harass Kuroo with it, till the dark haired boy closed the door from the outside. Oikawa was laughing and muttering little words of encouragement to the lizard, giving him small boops on the head. Kenma silently snapped a picture and sent it to Iwaizumi.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi was only able to feel his phone buzz on his pocket because he had taken a moment of peace for himself on the toilet. Makki had dragged a bunch of their friends - and Kiyoko - down to a Karaoke bar to celebrate Iwaizumi’s birthday. And, to be honest, the man was feeling a little overwhelmed. 

He fumbled with this phone before deciding to open it. Oikawa hadn’t texted or called him since their weird conversation the night before. Iwaizumi tried very hard to suppress the hope that the text would be from his friend.  _ In the end he didn’t say ‘Happy Birthday’ _

He sat down at the toilet a little disappointed when the name tag said ‘Kenma’.

[ _ Happy birthday. Make up soon or he will name it ‘Spielberg’]  _

Attached to it was a picture of Oikawa holding up a pet lizard while laughing. Iwaizumi felt his fingers shake over the phone screen. He hit the 1 on the speed dial.

* * *

 

Oikawa was crunched down trying to put Spielberg back to his cage when a loud noise crossed the room. He got up, patting his pants, and frowned as he looked at the caller id:  _ Wonder Boy _ . Kenma took a good look at his friend and got up as well, taking out spare key and opening the door.

“I’m going to check up on Kuroo. Say hi to Hajime for me” he waved and closed the door behind him. 

Oikawa sighed and pressed the green button. “I’m guessing this is Kenma’s little work. He says hi by the way”

_ “You bought me a pet lizard? _ ” Iwaizumi’s voice was restrained and a little echoey.

“Maybe”

The other line was mute for so much time Oikawa had to double check to see if the call had been dropped.

_ “You are not naming it Spielberg” _

Oikawa smiled, sitting down besides the lizard’s cage.

“You are not naming it Gojira”

_ “I might as well. It’s mine.” _

“And  _ I’m _ giving it to you.”

_ “Fine then. I’ll name it Trashykawa” _

“Well, they always say to name it after your loved ones”

Oikawa stuck his finger inside the cage, giving small boops on the lizard’s head, with a smile still glued to his face. The silence stretched over the line, but it was a good, comfortable silence. He felt like they were breathing each other’s air. And Oikawa breathed in deep. 

“Happy Birthday, Iwa-chan”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the idea for this chapter actually came to me while i was trying to write Viktor N. for an otayuri fic but he always came across like oikawa for some reason.   
> I imagine they would be good friends. 
> 
> \-   
> also.. everyone (in wwb) is bisexual. fight me


	6. Be a good boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi is really busy being Seijou's assistant coach. Oikawa has an active imagination. And Kuroo is having way too much fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guyzzzz I found myself a job so I had no time to upload this - Sorry 
> 
> Updates will come every saturday OR sunday now
> 
> This chapter is a little bit smaller than the others, but things will finally start happening

Oikawa woke up feeling a little hazy. They had just came back from the University’s own training camp and he felt all his muscles sore. Training camps in the University league were hard. Really hard. Oikawa had to collect himself more than once because he thought he could never get to  _ that  _ level. It was brutal. All of them were playing for much more than just that championship, they were playing for a spot at the Junior’s league.

 

He sat up, assessing his form. Oikawa had gotten back to his high school weight and his coach had let him back soon enough to be able to be part of the nationals qualifiers. He knew that important people would be watching those games. He also knew that if he was any inch out of form his coach would keep him tight in the benches.  _ That _ couldn’t happen. 

 

But he had a feeling that everything would be all right. His teammates were more trusting of him now and the training camp went as smoothly as it could have been. He knew most of their preferences and, although he did need more time to figure out just how to improve each particular player, Oikawa had a very good feeling about this first University league national championship. If only Iwaizumi could see this too.

  
_ But it’s fine _ , Oikawa thought. He would _ show him.  _

 

* * *

 

**__**

A loud whistle drew the game to an end. There was shouting from the bleachers. Iwaizumi could see Hanamaki and  Mattsun weaving. Everybody was ecstatic, running, cheering, hugging each other. Makki and Mattsun made their way down, ruffling the hairs of their former kouhais and giving playful punches on their shoulders. Iwaizumi watched it all unfold with a prideful and smug smile on his features.  Aobajousai placed first in the national preliminaries on their prefecture. 

****

Almost three weeks passed by since he came back from Tokyo with a new bright future shining ahead of him and, right at that moment, on that volleyball court, Iwaizumi felt like he had taken the first step towards that future. 

****

The warm air of a late June afternoon grazed their faces as both the former and current players of Seijou stepped out victorious of the gymnasium. Clinging into one another, they all marched loudly to the familiar pork bun shop. Iwaizumi felt his heart heavy, both with joy and sorrow.

****

His communications with his best friend had been scarce since the past week. Not only witnessing, but helping making such an important win for Seijou happen made Iwaizumi miss Oikawa as if the other man was a part of himself that walked away. Of course, he knew that his friend was very busy getting ready for his own nationals. 

****

As he watched the Seijou team walk together, chatting happily, Iwaizumi closed his eyes in a smile. All the strength and dedication that Oikawa was offering to Tokyo University now was first poured in gallons down the throat of all the Aobajousai’s members. That strength was visible in them even now, on the way they made passes, hit balls and even walked down that empty street by the sunset.

****

Iwaizumi fished his phone out of his a.coach jacket pocket and snapped a picture.

* * *

 

 

Oikawa stared at the picture his friend had sent him with fondness overflowing from his eyes.  He answered quickly and gave a light kiss on the screen, resting the phone against his forehead with a tender smile crossing his face. Quickly he answered with one of the selfies he had taken with Spielberg the Lizard, writing ‘cheering on you’. 

Kuro opened the door to their room carrying probably more Yakisoba bread then he should be eating. He snorted at the sight of Oikawa hugging his phone.

“I was gonna ask if you knew your old team got a win from Karasuno, but I can see that you already got the info” he sat on the floor, spreading the food around him. 

“Yeah. Only to be expected of my former team, you know” he winked, sitting in front of Kuroo on the floor. 

“You say that but this is the first time Seijou is on the nationals.” Kuroo barked, flashing him a devilish grin. “I’ll have you know that Nekoma won  _ again _ our prefecturals and you guys will have to go against Kenma some time soon”

“Well,  _ Captain-chan _ , I’m not worried about that. And neither  _ should you _ .” Oikawa rummaged around Kuroo’s food bag, looking for something to steal for himself. “Our own preliminaries are coming up, you know!”

  
Kuroo batted his hands away and fished a milk bread out of the bag for him. He said nothing to answer Oikawa, he knew the man’s nerves were probably ready to explode. He had caught Oikawa mumbling about  _ just how awful his performance had been _ on the T x K game more than once now. So, instead of teasing, Kuroo assessed him with a worried eye and let out a breath. 

 

The days to the University Championship had both Oikawa and Kuroo running around a lot. And, with a very ‘ show off to iwa-chan’ centered goal in mind, Oikawa spared no resources to be his best - with one or two reminders from the coach and ‘Iwa-chan’ himself not to train till he drops -. Just like that, the national season was only a couple of days away.  Oikawa sighed, carrying his bag of volleyball gear over the shoulders and his toiletries on the left hand. His hair was still damp from the shower and he rubbed his eyes trying to keep himself awake long enough to reach his dorm room. 

He flipped his phone open and fired a text to his best friend. How long was it since they last saw each other? Oikawa hummed. More than three weeks, he was sure. There was once a time he thought that spending so much time without Iwaizumi was impossible. Still, here they were. Even too busy to share more than a few texts over the past weeks. 

Oikawa watched the screen of his phone with knitted brows. He missed Iwaizumi. 

He missed Iwaizumi every time when he left his room. He missed Iwaizumi every time he bought milk bread, every time he stayed a little too long after practice, every time he saw a kid running around with a jar of bugs, every time the school bell rang loudly on the high school close by T University. Oikawa missed Iwaizumi everyday. 

His phone lit up on his hands.

_ [I’m not falling for your stupid blackmail, TrashyKawa! I have shit to do here. Just go through your preliminary games and I’ll watch your finals] _

  
  


Oikawa smiled. The University nationals were a week after the High School ones, so he understood the text as a silent promise of a whole extra week with Iwaizumi in Tokyo. That made his heart flutter, even if Iwaizumi wasn’t falling for his  _ please help me or else  _ texts any longer. 

[Coach Iwa-chan is so mean.]  He answered and sighed. 

Ever since Iwaizumi told him he took an internship on Seijou’s volleyball team Oikawa felt left out and jealous.  _ Iwa-chan should be here with me _ . 

He wrote a “I miss you so much” and let his finger hover the ‘send’ button for a long time before erasing the text. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this. Oikawa knew it wouldn’t be the last.

_ [Be good, Oikawa. Good night] _

_ Oikawa felt his whole body shiver, his eyes were heavy and his mouth hanged open in a small moan. He felt warm fingers sculpt the edge of his abs, one palm flat on his left thigh, caressing it and pulling it upwards. Oikawa screw his eyes shut, feeling a low pool of heat rushing down his naked body.  _

_ His name was said like a prayer, hot puffs of air reaching his knee, his abs, his nipples and his neck until finally he could feel just the ghost of thin lips calling his name directly on his own mouth.That familiar scent making his cock grow harder, the full weight of the other body touching every millimeter of his own. He felt feather like kisses on his jaw, reaching for his ears. A small bite on his earlobe made Oikawa whimper, arching his back and sending jolts of excitement all over the places his chest the legs touched the other. That low husky voice spoke his name directly on his ear. Oikawa felt like he was going to melt. _

_ “Open your eyes, Oikawa… C’mon. Be a good boy now” _

  
  


Oikawa’s eyes flew open and he almost fell out of his bed. He looked around, Kuroo was soundly asleep, snoring even. Trying to get his ragged breath under control, Oikawa ran a hand through his hair. He felt his cheeks hot and red. The sensations from the dream still lingered on his body like an actual touch. Oikawa had no need to look down to know that he had a huge hard-on. 

_ What the fuck was that? _

* * *

 

Iwaizumi stared at his phone as his text of ‘good luck’ went unanswered. Oikawa as being extremely evasive the past couple of days. So much so that Iwaizumi thought of calling him just to check up on the man. 

“Iwaizumi”

He closed his phone and looked up. Standing in front of him was a very wary looking Kiyoko. They had been off since their argument in Tokyo, seeing each other less and less. Iwaizumi felt like something broke right then and there and neither of them were making that much of an effort to fix it. He made a mental note to text Oikawa again sometime today and got up.

“Wanna walk for a bit?”

She looked down and nodded. They had decided to meet up for lunch and  _ well... _ Talk. But as they walked side by side in what had got to be the most awkward silence ever, Iwaizumi gave up on doing any talking. 

“Kiyoko…” she stopped on her feet, sighed and looked up. There was a mix of sorrow and resolve on her clear eyes. Iwaizumi shoved his hands on his pockets.

“Was that Oikawa-san?” at Iwaizumi’s blank stare, Kiyoko continued “Your phone. You seem more attached than usual to it”

Iwaizumi shrugged

“He is just not answering me. I’m just-”

“Worried.”

“Well… Yes.” Iwaizumi looked sideways, but made himself stare at her eyes again “He is my best friend, Kiyoko”

“Is he now?”

“What?”

Kiyoko pushed her glasses up. Her shoulder stiffen as she tried to regain control of her trembling hands. “He is your best friend. Exactly that. Not your son, not your little brother, not your boyfriend. Your  _ friend _ .” Iwaizumi frowned at her, but the took a step forward “Worrying about him is like breathing to you, Iwaizumi. You leave your phone on during the night just because he  _ might  _ need to talk to you. And you hate having your phone on while you are sleeping-”

“Honestly, that’s no b-”

“That’s not all! At your birthday party you were so down that everyone noticed.” she let out a breath, like the effort to say those things were both a burden and a relieve “And after you talked to him was like your whole mood changed.” 

Iwaizumi remembered that. But that day had been different, he had hurt Oikawa and was feeling like crap because of it. It was  _ normal. _

“That’s not normal! Your whole being is intertwined with your  _ best friend’s current situation.  _ If Oikawa is pissed, than you are even more pissed. And god forbid if he is pissed  _ at  _  you! What happens way too often!” she gave a light poke on his chest. 

Iwaizumi held her by the shoulders, trying his best to soften his features.

“Kiyoko, you don’t need to be jealous of Oikawa. He is just my friend.”

She pushed at him, releasing his grip on her, and stepped forward at his space. 

“I’m not jealous of  _ Oikawa, _ Iwaizumi. I’m upset!” she stood on her tiptoes, eyes burning holes on his “I’m upset because he is the one that can make you feel all these things. Because if you even  _ think  _ he needs you, nothing else matters.” her voice broke a little and she balled back on her hills, taking in a deep gulp of air. Iwaizumi could see her arms shaking “And it  _ should _ , Iwaizumi. Other things  _ should _ matter to you.  _ I  _ should matter to you!”

“You do. Kiyoko, you matter a lot! I’m so thankful to-”

“You shouldn’t be with anyone because you are  _ thankful  _ to them, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi stared at her. The little pool of water threatening to overflow on her eyes. Her small stature. Her big feelings. He was doing everything wrong. She was getting it wrong. He was feeling…

Iwaizumi took a step back. The warm summer breeze still brought up the last winds of winter. They looked at each other silently for a long time. 

“I’m...not. Oikawa is… My friend” Iwaizumi looked down at his hands, palms up, like he was searching for the correct answer in them. “I do like you.” he breathed out

“You just like him more.”

 

Iwaizumi clenched his jaw. Oikawa  _ had  _ always came first. 

“It shouldn’t be a dispute, Kiyoko” He looked at her, annoyed. She smiled softly at that.

“It never was”

He balled his hands inside his pockets, resisting the urge to look away. She deserved at least that much. Kiyoko sighed and shook her head. She took two steps forward, placing herself right in Iwaizumi’s personal space.  He felt like an idiot yet again.

“I… I am sorry”

“It doesn’t matter anymore… Just promise me you won’t keep on hurting  _ yourself _ ” Iwaizumi furrowed his brows. Kiyoko placed her two hands on his chest. “You found something so good for you now, Iwaizumi. Don’t let  _ him _ ruin it.” 

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to protest but Kiyoko gave him a light kiss, standing on her tiptoes. She smiled at him and put some distance between them - never to go back again

 

* * *

 

Oikawa and Kuroo were livid after their second win. The first day of the preliminaries had blessed Tokyo University with 2 amazing games and 2 even more amazing wins. The coach hurried everyone back home so they could all get some rest and play - hopefully - 2 more amazing games tomorrow and guarantee their place on the nationals. 

Still ecstatic from the victory bliss, both men made a run down to Kuroo’s house, buying a shit ton of popcorn and yelling at Kenma’s window till he got too fed up to ignore it anymore and joined their little club for a movie.

Kenma watched the two of them bicker for the right of choosing the movie, sitting with Spielberg on his lap, when something lit up on his head.

“Tooru, have you told Hajime yet?”

Oikawa stilled and mumbled a bunch of stuff neither Kuroo nor Kenma could understand. Kuroo took the opportunity to press play on his movie of choice. 

“What’s with you,  _ Trash King? _ You are all worked up since yesterday or something”

Oikawa blushed and looked the other way. Kenma narrowed his eyes. He still kept contact with Iwaizumi and he was sure that the man would have told him if he and Oikawa had gotten into a fight, but nothing really seemed to have happened.  _ Unless... _

“Are you still upset that he wasn’t here to watch your game?”

“Noooo! I’m fine. Iwa-chan is fine! Everything is fine! Just, you know, busy! He is a busy coach now and… “ Oikawa stammered, remembering the last time he brought up the subject with Iwaizumi himself.  _ Be good… _

Kuroo looked at Kenma and then back at Oikawa, who was still blabbering gibberish and getting even darker shades of red.

“Did you guys hook up or something? Why the fuck are you so nervous?!”

Oikawa turned to him, wide eyed and mouth hanging open

“WHAT? What?!!! How is that even possible?? Hahahaha I’m here he is there and and and and” Oikawa turned, clutching the bowl of popcorn and burrowing his eyes on it. By his side, Kuroo let out a low whistle and snickered. 

“Tooru…” Kenma started, in a low and calm voice

“I had a really weird dream” he said, not looking away from the popcorn. Kuroo got up and laughed out loud, reaching under his shirt to scratch his abs. 

“Babe, you had a sex dream with  _ Iwa-chan _ ”

“S-sh-Shhhhut-up!” he stammered “I’m so embarrassed I can’t even answer his texts now!!”

“Look, Kenma, our baby is growing up! I’m so proud of you, hon” Kuroo let himself sink in the couch and gave a shit eating grin to a now shaking Oikawa. 

“Do you like Hajime, Tooru?”

Oikawa jolted, lifting himself up with the popcorn bowl in hands. 

“WHAT the fuck NOoooO!” he was panting, red from tip to toe. 

“Yeah, my boy just wanna get in his pants, Kenma”

Oikawa frowned, seeming to take offense in that.

“I’ll have you know that Iwa-chan is my best friend, Captain-chan!”

“So? Just admit that you are in love with him and let us watch the movie.” Kuroo made a face and pointed to the screen in which the move had long since begun. 

Kenma nudged Kuroo on the ribs, on a silent reprimand for his words. Oikawa turned to them. His eyes were wide and he was crunching the popcorn bowl like his life depended on it. A huge frown deepen in his face. 

“ I am  _ not  _ in love with Iwa-chan!!!”

“Right, Megara, now gimme my popcorn” Kuroo snickered and stole the popcorn bowl himself, putting in between him and Kenma, completely ignoring Oikawa’s hard stare. 

Oikawa muttered angrily and stomped his way out of the room and into Kuroo’s bedroom, before closing the door he glared at his two friends, and sticking out his tongue.

“Like you are the one to talk!!!” he yelled, closing the door with a loud  _ thump _ . 

  
Kuroo blinks up, feeling his whole face heating up.  _ Well, I deserve that.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoko is not being petty or a bitch.   
> Who wants to be second place in someone's heart?
> 
> \---  
> I was listening to 'Lake street dive' - Just Ask while writing the break up scene. It resonated so much with me tbh.


	7. GO GET ‘EM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is a little shit. The high school's finals begin. Iwaizumi's life is about to make a big shift.

Kenma sighed heavily while he stared at the text on his phone.

 

He’d just informed Iwaizumi that T University’s team had won a place on the nationals and asking if Tooru was still not sending him texts like before. Kenma knew he probably shouldn’t meddle, but he was sure that he was going to be the one comforting Oikawa in yet another one of his temper tantrums if he and Iwaizumi didn’t make up soon. Or whatever version of _making up_ would solve this situation.

 

The high school and the universities tournament were one week after the other. So, as soon as the qualifiers of the University championship ended, Kenma started getting ready for his own final, just this week, and the University final, the week after that, where he would see Kuroo playing in all his glory. Kuroo glowed when he was on court. It was a mesmerizing sight to see.

 

His other _preparation_ , of course, had to do with one _Iwaizumi Hajime_. It had already past four weeks since Hajime had left Tokyo and Kenma had promised to help him became a coach. And he was actually eager to talk to the man in person again and show him the variety of programs that could help Hajime to get where he wanted. But first, Kenma needed to deal with whatever was happening between the future coach and his best friend. Otherwise, he just knew that all of Iwaizumi’s focus would flow right to the problem and not to all the work that Kenma had put in researching the courses for him.

 

Usually, Kenma would be more worried about Tooru. That is, of course, if he didn’t wholeheartedly think that Kuroo was right and his two friends needed to sort out their feelings for each other. But, unlike Kuroo and, apparently even Oikawa, Kenma had the important information that Iwaizumi and the former Karasuno manager had broken up.

  
So, _yeah_ , Kenma was totally going to meddle.

* * *

 

 

Iwaizumi let out a frustrated breath. Apparently, the only way he managed to get information on his best friend these past few days was from Kenma. He was at loss of what to do. _Hell_ he didn’t even know what happened this time. He punched a few lines on the phone and answered the kid’s text. Needless to say that Iwaizumi was pissed. Even more pissed because Kiyoko’s words kept on playing on repeat on his head and he couldn’t deny the truth in them. Iwaizumi was being consumed by apprehensiveness.

 

[Congrats to them. And no, that trash is still very vague in his shitty writing. He didn’t even tell me they won. What an ass of a best friend]

 

Iwaizumi grunted, resenting the situation so bad that he just shoved clothes on his suitcase, instead of properly packing them for his trip. The high school nationals were this week and him and all of Aobajousai were traveling that very same day to Tokyo. And _yes_ , Iwaizumi still intended to stay another week and cheer on is crappy friend on the University Championship, even if Oikawa was being even more of an ass than usual. That would make a total of two weeks staring at that idiot TrashyKawa’s face. Iwaizumi _needed_ to know what was wrong very fast, or he might just change his mind and came back to his hometown together with Seijou after the high school tournament ended.

 

_[I’m sure he would have told you sooner rather than later.]_

 

Iwaizumi made a face at the text and dropped his phone. Few minutes later it buzzed again.

 

_[I suppose you haven’t told him about Kiyoko either]_

 

He _tsked_. Iwaizumi didn’t even know where to start with that… It was not Oikawa’s business anyway.

 

_[If you tell him, I’ll tell you what I’ve found out about your future coaching career]_

 

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the screen. Kenma was a little shit.

* * *

 

 

The day chirped bright and warm as Kuroo and Oikawa made their way to the bleachers. It was such an unusual place to be at, Oikawa thought, much more used to be the one playing, not watching the game.

 

Aobajousai had the second game in the morning and Nekoma had the third one. The first and fourth games were between districts unknown to them. Whoever won each of the four games would play again that afternoon. Kuroo and Oikawa knew that they would be sitting on their ass the whole day. And probably the day after that as well.

 

From a distance, they could see their coach talking with a bunch of other men around his age. Oikawa recognized K University's coach amongst them. He shot a little wary look as the first two districts got ready to start their match.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi sighed as he waited for the third set of the first match came to an end. Seijou was already getting warmed up and their coach quietly talked with Iwaizumi about the two teams competing right now. The man nodded and listened carefully as the coach explained which points were important and how Aobajousai would need to move when confronting either team. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes, analysing the passes made by both teams. _Coaching was hard work._

 

They took sometime after the third set ended to clean the court and ready it for the second game of the day. Meanwhile, Seijou’s Coach gave small tips and notes to his team. They all seemed nervous. Iwaizumi remembered the feeling of stepping into a game very well and, although he was nervous as well, he felt like his anxiousness carried a degree of almost parental responsibility that never carried before.

 

The referee blew the whistle and both teams assumed their position on court.

* * *

 

Oikawa observed the first set playing out with analytical eyes. He was slouched on his knees, resting his chin on his propped up hands. Kuroo watched him more than he watched the game.

 

“Are you nervous? Do you wanna play with them?”

 

“Are you asking me how I feel or telling me how _you_ feel, Captain-chan?” Oikawa didn’t take his eyes of the court, but a slow smile spread wide over his features.

 

Kuroo snorted.

 

“Why is that that I feel like the more time I spend with you, the more dangerous you became?” Oikawa laughed and Kuroo turned his eyes to the game as well. “Did you talk to him yet?”

 

Oikawa just shrugged

 

“I don’t want to meddle…” Kuroo chanced a glance at his friend, who’s legs were now shaking with what Kuroo knew to be restrain. It was really hard, watching something that used to be your life unfold in front of your eyes and just having to sit back and… Look at it.

 

Both teams were pretty evened out. Half of the first set went by with not so much as a two point difference being juggled between the two sides of the court. Oikawa thought that Seijou had lucked out in facing such an opponent first thing in the day. The other team called time and Oikawa saw Iwaizumi pull Kunimi from the crowd of Seijou players and talk very calmly with him. Out of all of them, Kunimi had always been the one with the best game sense, so Oikawa was sure that Iwaizumi wanted his take on their opponent. A smug smile crossed the former Seijou Captain.

 

The teams reassume their position and Kunimi talked with everyone in a low voice. Oikawa heard that he was now the vice-captain. He was sure that Iwaizumi had something to do with that decision.  Much to everyone’s surprise, the rest of the first set had Seijou only defending hard balls and making few passes. As expected, team B won the first set.

 

Aobajousai left the court giggling and giving light shoulder punches on one another. Oikawa frowned.

* * *

 

 

Iwaizumi pulled Kunimi over again. He quickly reported all the movements of their team and how the opponent had reacted. Iwaizumi reached for Kunimi’s shoulders and squeezed it. A huge and confident smile adorned his face.

 

The break was quickly over and both teams were back on court for a second set. The Coach stepped closer to Iwaizumi and gave him an assessing look, before turning his attentions to the game again. Iwaizumi was still smiling.

 

“I suppose you are sure of this, kid”

 

His eyes were shining. _Damn right he was sure._ Iwaizumi nodded his head as the second set began with Seijou in that same agonizing slow pace. Fifteen minutes in, the adversary team was five points in advantage. Iwaizumi nudged the Coach, behind them a very serious Kyotani came breathing in small pants. Iwaizumi turned to him as the coach informed the referee of a member switch.

 

“Have you warmed up enough?” the blond boy grunted, his hands opening and closing “Are you going to do what I told you? Are you going to play with them as your peers?” the boy grunted again and Iwaizumi gave him a light slap on the back. “Right… Go get ‘em”

 

Kyotani entered the court right on the serve. Iwaizumi glared at him until he went over all the players and gave them high fives. Most of them just snorted and cheered on the blond.

 

“MAD DOG-CHAN! NICE SERVE!”

 

A shouting voice came from the bleachers and all the players turned to it. Oikawa was waving frantically with a very angry Kuroo trying to pull him down. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at him. Most of the Seijou members seemed to be hipped up at that very moment, as if Oikawa’s yelling and excitement awakened something in them. Iwaizumi stepped forward without crossing the line

 

“OI! You airheads keep you eyes on the game!” He yelled, making each and every player let go off their goofy features for more composed ones.

 

The whistle blew and Kyotani chanced a look at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi murmured a soft _You can do it_ and nodded his head. The blond glanced at the opponent team and juggled the ball in the air. The violent hit crossed the net to the other side right on the player Kunimi informed to be the worst at receiving. The ball kicked on his arms right to the outside of the court.

 

Iwaizumi closed his hand and cheered silently. Watari shouted from the net: “Once more!” echoed by all Seijou players one by one. So that’s what Kyotani did, and again, and one more time till the difference between them was now of one point only. The B team asked for time. Iwaizumi celebrated a second time. All according to plan. He let himself chance a glance at Oikawa’s direction and was extremely satisfied upon finding his best friend glued on the protection bars with mesmerized eyes.

 

Oikawa looked back to Kuroo as Seijou left the court to talk to their coach.

 

“He… He is strategizing!” the man pointed accusingly at Iwaizumi on the benches. “Even with mad dog-chan! He tired that kid out _before_ he even got into the court”

 

Kuro snorted, putting his two feet up.

  
“Ain’t that great? I thought your old team went bananas and just dropped the competition altogether for a while there. Your Wonder Boy got even me fooled.”

 

Oikawa blushed and looked away from Kuroo

 

“Now that I know where this nickname came from I’m not sure I want you to use it anymore” he mumbled. Kuroo barked out a laugh

 

“Hey. Looks like this will be done any second now” Kenma reached them zipping up his team jacket.  He had this hair tied on a low ponytail.

 

Oikawa hummed at him, glad for the distraction.

 

“You look cute, Pudding-chan!” Kenma made a face at him and sat beside Kuroo. Oikawa was still up, resting his hands on the protection bar. “I thought you wouldn’t be able to see your precious cute friends before the match”

 

“I came up when Seijou was losing” he gave a long look at the court where both teams assumed their locations again “But since that blond guy entered the match I got that Hajime had something on his mind” he trailed off “Now I guess I just came to say hi and leave again”

 

“What! No. It’s like the second set, stay at least till the beginning of the third, Kitten”

 

“Want _me_ to leave, Captain-chan you” Oikawa smirked at the two of them and the hand that Kuroo automatically reached to tuck a strand of Kenma’s hair.

 

The man rapidly changed the movement to show Oikawa his middle finger. The referee resumed the game and all the eyes were back on court.

 

Kenma’s assumption was proved right. Kyotani still managed to score two more points before the B team striked back. Watari was focusing all his balls on Kyotani’s hits, with team B’s new rotation was harder to hit the weaker link like before and all eyes were following the blond. Still, the sheer power of Kyotani’s spikes forced the blocks open.

 

The second set came to a close with Aobajousai winning by four points. Kenma got up and patted his shorts. He gave a long and thoughtful look at Oikawa

 

“I’m going now. Tooru, pay attention to the game”

 

“Yeah.. Sure” he mumbled “Good Game, Kenma.”

 

The blond boy nodded and waved at a very enthusiastic Kuroo, who kept yelling best wishes until his friend was out of his sight. Kuroo shifted nervously on his seat.

 

“I don’t know how you do it, dude. My turned hasn’t even started yet and I’m itching to go down there and talk to them and stuff”

 

Oikawa sighed and slouched himself on the protection bars, staring at Iwaizumi with a renewed interest. He had never really seen Iwaizumi strategize like that. Sure they thought out planned attacks and assessed the adversary team in order to better use them, but that position naturally always fell on Oikawa’s lap.

 

Now that he thought of it, maybe he wasn’t that good at it. After all, both Kenma and Tobio-chan made remarks of how easy it was to predict Oikawa’s movements when he was in a pinch. It had always come down to Iwaizumi. Always there in the back of Oikawa’s mind, a strong power he could rely on.

 

He smiled a little, caressing his lower lip with his thumb as he watched his best friend talk to Kindaichi and Kyotani on the benches. There was something serious on his face, but it was not the _grumpy_ _Iwa-chan_ Oikawa was used to, this seriousness came from a place of responsibility, came from the burning determination that always poured out of Iwaizumi on weaves of resilience. Oikawa knew that part of his best friend very well. It was a part of Iwaizumi he still felt pulsing within himself.

 

The former Seijou Captain frowned deeply when the final set started with Kyotani on the bench. _What the fuck are you doing, Iwa-chan_

  


Iwaizumi sat beside Kyotani, talking to him in a low voice and pointing out one thing or two on the court. Seijou was holding the pace of the match and the scores were even again. They juggled the ball till the game was half to the set point. By then Kyotani entered the court once more and, once more, the boy hit the ball so hard Iwaizumi was sure he saw some of the kids from team B shaking a little. The second strike from the blond got the B Coach asking for time. Iwaizumi smirked again, _so damn predictable._

 

He gathered all his teammates and patted their shoulders before speaking.

 

“We got them where we want. Remember the rehearsed plays and hit those fuckers with a ball so hard it will make a hole on the floor” He smirked. Some of the boys laughed, but all of them had a renewed resolution on their eyes.

 

By the time they got in the court again, the game was already won.

 

All the B players shifted their attentions to Kyotani, opening enough space for Kindaichi hit as many balls as he wanted and, when B team managed to organized a good block on both boys, Iwaizumi nodded slightly and Watari assumed the setter position, reaching that set point with a five-one all offensive squad.

 

Iwaizumi could actually hear one of the opponent players squirm.

* * *

 

 

Iwaizumi waited outside the gymnasium for his teammates to finish stripping down the volleyball gear. He knew he should go back inside and watch the Nekoma game, but he found himself buying sometime alone to… _What was he expecting anyway?_

 

The man jolted as he felt a heavy hand drop on his shoulders, almost turning around with a full force back slap and Oikawa’s name coming out in a shout. But he stopped himself just in time to see both Seijou’s and Tokyo University’s coaches gathering around him. Once he schooled his features, Iwaizumi could see that a third man was standing with the two coaches. The three of them were smiling fondly at a very wary Iwaizumi.

 

“Nice to see you again, assistant coach Iwaizumi-kun” there was a glimpse of almost pride on T’s Coach as he said that.

 

Iwaizumi was feeling extremely uncomfortable but still managed a polite bow. The mention of himself as an assistant coach made his heart flutter.

 

“Iwaizumi-kun, this is Yoshiyuki-san, from Gakudai University.” The Seijou Coach showed him the third man with a small smile. “He is the volleyball Coach in Gakudai, you see?”

 

Iwaizumi blinked and suddenly he understood that he was in front of _the coaches gossip network_. He offered another bow of his head, a little at loss of what to say to such a person. Yoshiyuki bowed down as well and offered him his business card.

 

“T’s coach and Seijou’s Coach where both telling me how good you are, Iwaizumi-kun. And T’s here seems to think that you would be a good coach someday.” T’s coach barked out a laugh, Iwaizumi just stared at the ground, fighting a blush that creeped up his neck.

 

“Ah, yes sir… I’m working towards being a coach...You know… _Someday_ ” he stammered, nervousness making his whole body tremble slightly. Yoshiyuri hummed

 

“And I realize that you also wouldn’t have problems changing locations?” Iwaizumi looked up at that, alarmed. T’s coach juggled him a little by the shoulders, laughing.

 

“He means coming to Tokyo, kid.”

 

“Oh, Yes! See… Gakudai is in Tokyo.” the man tried to explain himself better, but Iwaizumi just furrowed his brows more and more “We hnnn We are part of the Junior’s league of volleyball, so we are needing a little more a.coaches joining this year.” he laughed, a little embarrassed “a bunch of ours just quit last term, so we are kind of in a pinch here.”

 

Iwaizumi stood there, frozen. He didn’t even know what to make of this. Oikawa’s name came flashing through his head over and over again. Seijou’s coach gave him a light pat in the back.

 

“It would involve some traveling and, of course, you’d need to to join a Junior College as well. But I’m sure you are up for it, Iwaizumi.”

 

Looking up at his older coach and current boss, Iwaizumi felt nothing but intense gratitude. He balled his hands and lifted his head, meeting Gakudai’s coach stare.

 

“I actually already have a few Jr. Colleges in mind” Kenma had mailed him a list of potential colleges with programs that could help him became a coach in exchange of Iwaizumi coming clean with Oikawa about Kiyoko. Again, he felt himself submerged in gratefulness.

 

“Great! Then you can start as early as next term, if Seijou here can let you go, of course!”

  
The three man laughed very loudly and Iwaizumi just stared at them with wide eyes. He couldn’t _believe_ that this was happening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week i'll be flying home <3 so the next upload will be only on the 19th


	8. STRAIGHT OUT OF A SHOUJO MANGA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Iwaizumi discover new sides of themselves. Upon facing bad news, Kenma has to think back his choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it me  
> the person who never manages to get stuff done by the deadline. 
> 
> warning: underage drinking

 

Oikawa stretched his arms above his head, humming happily as himself, Kuroo, Kenma, and a slightly wary Iwaizumi walked down the busy street of downtown Tokyo. Kuroo somehow managed to convince all of them that they should head out for some food to celebrate both Seijou’s and Nekoma’s wins.  As their game was set to begin in the afternoon the other day, neither man found it too troublesome to accept Kuroo’s invitation.

 

They sat down at a low-budget college restaurant. The place was packed with what it seemed to be members of the volleyball teams that played today. It was a mess of food and shouting everywhere. After they ordered, Kuroo quietly got up and came back a while later with a bottle of sake. Kenma narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“It’s a celebration!! Let’s celebrate!” 

 

“You are not even old enough to drink” Iwaizumi hissed, taking a handful of the offered entry. He was starving.

 

“You won’t imagine what you can do with a cute look on your face, my friend” Kuroo shrugged it off and poured the sake into two glasses, shoving one over to Oikawa. He looked back at Iwaizumi “You in?”

 

“Ah.. what the hell..” he picked up the glass already full and Kuroo poured himself a new one. Iwaizumi turned to Kenma, right in front of him “Not drinking?”

 

“I don’t drink” he said quietly, fumbling with the keys of his phone. By Iwaizumi’s side, Kuroo snorted. 

 

They soon fell in a nice and easy conversation. Iwaizumi kept on looking over to where Oikawa was seated, by Kenma’s side, he had his elbow resting on the table the whole time, so it was not really possible to make up all of his expression. Iwaizumi mumbled over his sake glass. He needed to talk to Oikawa alone. 

 

The first bottle was long gone once their food arrived, so Kuroo dutifully got up to pick up a new one. Iwaizumi was starving and a little buzzed already, so he pulled his plate and dug in without waiting for the other man’s return. 

 

“Ah, Hajime” Kenma looked up and reached for his food as well. Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa stared at him at the same time “Did you manage to look at those college choices I sent you?”

 

Iwaizumi stilled, picking the contents of his oyakodon a little slower now. In front of him, Oikawa made a noise.

 

“What is this? Are you trying for a Junior College, Iwa-chan?” 

 

Iwaizumi looked up and, for the first time in more than a month, stared directly at the chocolaty eyes of his best friend. Iwaizumi felt a shiver run up his spine. Right at this moment, Kuroo came crashing by his side - already visibly drunk - carrying a new bottle of sake. 

 

“What are we talking about?” he sang happily, picking up his own bowl of food and devouring it without waiting for an answer. Oikawa swung the bottle and poured the liquid into his glass and the others. 

 

“Hajime’s choice for college.” Kenma turned to him again. “So? Did you take a look? Most of them were here in Tokyo though”

 

“What? Is that true?” Oikawa almost choked on his drink, his eyes were a very confusing mixture of surprise and hope. Iwaizumi knitted his brows.

 

“Yeah… I mean I haven’t decided on anything yet…” 

 

“You should, man! You could start on the next term! It’s like right around the corner.” Kuroo gulped all this sake down and pushed forward the empty bowl of food in front of him. 

 

Iwaizumi just grunted. Kenma kept staring at him, analyzing him, finally, he got up and made move for Oikawa to let him through. He gave a hard look on an already drunk Kuroo and called Iwaizumi up.

 

“I think we should go. Come and pay the bill with me.” he said, motioning for Iwaizumi to follow him. The man just frowned.  _ Why the hell should he pay for it _

 

In the end, Iwaizumi got up and followed Kenma to the cashier. 

 

Oikawa watched him go with a long, hard stare. 

 

“You know, his ass is gonna fall if you keep on staring like that”

 

The man jolted, almost dropping the cup half full on his hands. He scowled Kuroo, but with more embarrassment than anger behind it. 

 

“If that were to happen, I’m sure Kenma-chan would have been all over the ground much long ago” he stuck his tongue out and raised his middle finger, gulping down the rest of the drink on his glass. “He’s just... You know…”

 

Kuroo looked at Oikawa with a half smirk

 

“No, I really don’t.  _ You _ are the one who has been having sexy dreams with him”

 

Oikawa felt his ears hot. 

 

“ _ A _ dream, Kuroo. Geez!” he looked back at where Iwaizumi was talking to Kenma “Besides…” he mumbled, feeling his stomach getting all giddy just for saying it out loud “Have you seen him in that assistant coach’s jacket? I’m afraid I might have yet another dream today”

 

Kuroo barked out a laugh. All his body shook with the sheer force of it. From the cashier, both Kenma and Iwaizumi turned to him with reprimand looks. 

 

“Sounds like you have an authority kink, my friend.” he drowned the rest of his drink in one go “Dirty, dirty, Oikawa-san”

 

“Oh, shut’up, Captain-chan you!!!!” Oikawa felt his face burning, he knew for sure that he was red from his back to his ears. “It’s just..! Just!” he messed his hair with his hands, looking for a good enough answer. Kuroo just laughed harder. 

 

“For Fuck’s sake, Oikawa! The guy put up with your shit all these years. If he isn’t even a little bit curious than I don’t fucking like volleyball!” Kuroo tugged on the collar of Oikawa’s shirt “Just go for it, man!”

 

“I’ll when  _ You will!! _ Oikawa yelled back, clenching his fist on Kuroo’s collar as well. 

 

“What are you guys doing?” came a very calm voice from Kenma above their heads. More than a little embarrassed, both boys let go of each other and mumbled  _ sorry _ . “Get up, we are leaving.”

 

Oikawa and Kuroo stumbled and tripped on their way out of the restaurant. Iwaizumi felt a slight buzz rummage through his body, he was feeling more peaceful. Like a twinge of hope growing warm inside him. Plus, Oikawa seemed somewhat to resume his normal chatter around him, so that also made him at ease. 

 

Kenma held Kuroo by his hand when they got to the train station. 

 

“I’m taking him home. You can stay in the dorms if you want to, Hajime.” Iwaizumi tightened his lips, a blush running across his features.  _ was he that transparent?  _ Kenma nodded when their train arrived “See you tomorrow.”

 

Oikawa dragged Iwaizumi inside the vehicle sing-songing, but he had enough time to catch Kuroo’s fingers intertwining with Kenma’s and the huge blush that spread around the taller man’s features as he looked down at the ground.  

 

The ride to the University Dorm building was a short one. When they got there, Oikawa was still very buzzed and very happy. He jumped out of his clothes and went for a quick shower, leaving Iwaizumi staring at a closed door. He felt like maybe letting Oikawa run around the dorms half-naked and drunk was the worst idea ever. Iwaizumi caught himself wishing that they were back over Oikawa’s house, where the shower was close by his room and the man was far away from dirty prying eyes. 

 

He sighed, eyeing his own clothes and feeling a little disgusted with himself. He pulled his jacket off, careful not to damage the cell phone he kept inside and found a clean towel - Oikawa always kept them at the same place - and some soap. Without much further ado, he made his way to the other set of available bathrooms in the dorm. 

  
  


When Oikawa got back from his  _ very _ long and  _ very  _ cold shower he found his best friend already asleep only on his underwear. He took in a deep breath and looked away. He had begun to think that maybe Kuroo and Kenma were right, after all. 

 

Oikawa’s eyes fell on the discarded jacket on the floor. He picked it up and tried it on, looking at himself in the mirror. The buzz from the alcohol was getting out of his system, but he still felt a little braver - or maybe a little stupider. He pulled the collar to himself and sniffed at it.  _ Ah… Iwa-chan smells so good. _

 

“Hnn What are you doing?..” Iwaizumi’s voice came low and husky, sending jolts of energy straight to Oikawa’s groin. “You took forever showering, you fucking prissy king.” 

 

Oikawa let out a breath, trying to gain some control over himself again. He turned to Iwaizumi’s bed and marched at his direction, wearing a smug and prideful smile. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes once he noticed what Oikawa was wearing.

 

“Why do you have my jacket?” the man shifted, opening some space for his friend in bed.

 

“Because it looks so much better on me, of course!” he scoffed, sitting down by Iwaizumi’s side. 

 

Oikawa cocked his head to the side, his soft bangs still a little damp from the shower, his face still a little flushed from the sake. The lazy smile that rested on his swollen lips comforted Iwaizumi somewhat. He felt his fingers twitching near where Oikawa’s hand was resting on the mattress. He wanted to touch Oikawa.

 

Breathing in and closing his hand on a fist, Iwaizumi looked away.

 

“You need to stop stealing my clothes” he muttered, still not looking at Oikawa. 

 

“Eh? Are you talking about the  _ Iwa-chan shirt? _ ” he laughed, remembering that bringing that shirt was actually an accident. A very happy accident. Oikawa leaned down just a little so that his body cast a shadow over Iwaizumi’s face. “It’s like a  _ boyfriend  _ shirt, right?”

 

Iwaizumi’s ears made that weird movement it always made when he was embarrassed. Oikawa almost snorted. It was really too cute, so cute he felt like pushing a little more. So he leaned in a couple of inches, he could smell Iwaizumi now. Oikawa fought the blush that already tinted his face. 

 

“That’s a very possessive sign, you know? Because you actually like it, right? When I wear your stuff…” 

 

He tugged a little on the zipper of the jacket. Iwaizumi turned to him then, face fully flushed, eyebrows trembling ever so slightly. Oikawa noticed the man kept clenching and unclenching the hand that rested beside his own. Iwaizumi bit down his lip and all the air around Oikawa stopped circulating. His ears were ringing, his whole body hot and bothered.  He caught Iwaizumi’s restless arm in a tight grip on his wrists. The man in front of him froze, eyes locked on where his skin made contact with Oikawa’s. 

 

“Hey, Iwa-chan… Do you remember that time back in middle school?” he tilted his head, gaining his friend’s attention right back to his mouth. So, very slowly, he darted a tongue out to wet his lips. He actually felt Iwaizumi tremble underneath him. “I kinda wonder what it would have been like…” 

 

His voice was low and heavy with something that he couldn’t understand. Somewhere in-between talking he had let go of Iwaizumi’s wrist and was now tracing a finger over the hard muscle of his biceps. Iwaizumi lifted his hand up his friend’s elbow to his back. Oikawa had felt the other’s touch so many times, but never like that. Never so possessive and warm. 

 

“Oikawa…” it was almost a plea stumbling upon Iwaizumi’s lips. Oikawa hummed, dipping lower enough to feel the other’s breath hot on his face.

 

“Did you wond-” 

 

A loud music busted in the room and something started to vibrate in Oikawa’s body. He jolted back to the end of the bed, heart racing and face flushed red in a mixture of confusion and anger. He patted himself till he found Iwaizumi’s cell on his jacket pocket.  He gave the man his phone without looking at his face. Iwaizumi coughed a little before answering.

 

“Iwaizumi…. Yes. 8 a. m. sharp, coach…. I know. Goodnight, see you tomorrow.”

 

Iwaizumi closed his phone but didn’t manage to keep his eyes off of it. His body was flushed. He felt like he had just been dug out a very inebriated state. But Iwaizumi hadn’t drunk near enough for that.  He looked up and he felt the bed shift. A very wary Oikawa was smiling down at him like a child, tongue out and hand behind the head. 

 

“Oopsies! Your coach got mad at you, uhhhh?~~” he coughed, getting up and going to his own bed. “Better go to sleep then! Bright and early tomorrow… Waking up stuff and…” he stared at the ground. “Well, good night, Iwa-chan!”

 

“Oikawa..”  The man hummed without turning to him. “You still have my jacket on”

 

Oikawa laughed a little awkwardly and took off the jacket as fast as he could, shutting off the lights and covering himself with all the sheets on his bed. 

 

Neither of them got much sleep that night.

* * *

 

Kuroo patiently waited outside the gymnasium for Oikawa and Iwaizumi to finish their pep talk with Seijou. He lifted his eyes as Kenma made his way towards him, footsteps so light that it wouldn’t have been possible to hear if Kuroo hadn’t committed them to memory. The Nekoma jersey hanged open over the blond kid’s small shoulders, but he didn’t seem to care as he walked facing the ground towards where Kuroo was already getting up.

“That’s a very sour face you’ve got there”

Kenma stopped right in front of him. Looking down, his friend’s shoes came into sight, but Kenma didn’t look up. For all his talk about not liking volleyball, losing the chance to even be in the finals was being harder than expected. He heard Kuroo sighing and felt the immediate embrace of his long arms around Kenma’s head.  

“Hey, Kitten... It’s fine, you know? It’s like one of your games. If you loose for a boss you just have to power up and face it again, right?”

Kuroo’s breath came hot in Kenma’s ear. He wanted to tell Kuroo that this was it, this was his last time on the court. He wanted to say that he knew Kuroo had gone to Tokyo U instead of K University because of him, so now he had to study hard and forget about volleyball.  _ This was it.  _ But instead, he lifted his hand and balled it on Kuroo’s shirt, nodding lightly with his head.

* * *

 

“So this was a total disaster” Oikawa slapped his knee and sighed. “Nekoma and Seijou got their asses kissed goodbye even though the great Oikawa-san was there cheering on them with so much heart”

“Maybe that’s why it happened”

“What?! Mean, Iwa-chan!”

Kuroo snorted as he shoved more of his clothing inside of a duffel bag. Iwaizumi had already moved in for the week to their dorm room and Kuroo was graciously letting him borrow his bed once more. Kuroo would argue against it, but he was sure Kenma would just glare at him till he caved. Besides, with summer vacations so close by he had very few classes and practice was on baby steps not to hurt any player this close to the University’s national championship. So, all and all, Kuroo had really no reason not to give up his space and let his annoying friend have the dorm all to - Kuroo hoped - making his dreams come true. But as far as Kuroo was concerned, Oikawa wouldn’t do anything of his own accord, even though Kuroo had caught him giving weirder looks than usual at Iwaizumi the whole day when he thought nobody was watching. Something happened and  _ goddamn  _ if Kuroo wasn’t going to find out what.

“Hey I just had an awesome idea!” he closed his bag and turned to the three people in the small dorm room. “Since you guys won’t be playing anymore, we have an extra day now, right? Why don’t we head out to Hayama-Isshiki Beach?”

“What a great idea, Captain-chan you!” Oikawa beamed, Kuroo could swear he saw little sparkles fly off him. 

“Would your coach be able to spear you?”  

“Yeah. It’s just a day” Kuroo sat down on his bed right next to Kenma. The boy was even quieter than usual ever since that morning, Kuroo knew he was being locked away, but he gathered all his strengths to respect his friend’s space. Truth be told, Kuroo just wanted to hold Kenma tight and never let go. “What do you think? We can have shaved ice, you can play your DS under the parasol… Maybe eat some watermelon and play some beach volleyball, uh?”

Kenma nodded his head lightly and Kuroo let a relieved smile spread on his features. Off to the beach, then!

  
  


The bus ride was a short one. The day shined bright and new on its first hours. Oikawa was still half asleep and slouched over Iwaizumi like a backpack. As the four of them made their way through the green landscape a beautiful, crystalline bay showed itself in front of them. The sun shot warm rays on their faces against the fluffy white sand and the breeze carried a heavy salty air over their features. Kenma stepped up and closed his eyes, letting the beach sounds and smells cleanse his overworked head. He could feel his anxiety lifting up with every breath. He turned around with a half smile.

“Shaved ice”

Kuroo laughed, reaching for his head and ruffling it, letting loose some blond strands that had been carefully tucked in a low ponytail.

“Right, right. C’mon, Oikawa!” he tugged the former Seijou Captain by the wrist, making his way to the vending stands. “Make sure you guys find us a good spot, okay?” he yelled, already halfway to his destination. 

Oikawa stumbled in his half awake state.

“What are you doing, Kuroo? I wanna go and sit under the sun.” he tried to shake Kuroo’s grip, but his state didn’t allow anymore force than a 5-year-old child. He whined like one too. 

They stopped in front of an ice cream stand and Kuroo turned to him, both eyebrows arched. Oikawa was making a scene out of supposed bruised wrist, but Kuroo knew he was just being, well, Oikawa

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Oikawa pouted in a mock hurt pose. 

“You are too aggressive, that’s what. Maybe pudding head-chan is into that but I’m not!” The brunet shook his red wrist in front of Kuroo’s face. 

“Well maybe if you stop rubbing it, it will stop getting redder.” he batted Oikawa’s hands away. A very shy girl on the ice cream stand glued her eyes on them, a little horrified. “And I’m not talking about that, you know it. Spit it out!”

“I have no idea what you are talking about” Oikawa circled around Kuroo and slouched himself on the stand’s balcony, flashing a flirty smile at the girl - who only took two steps back. 

“Did you jump him or something?”

“Do I look like someone who you do that?!” He turned back to Kuroo, baffled. The girl on the stand nodded silently. 

“Oikawa…” Kuroo dragged the last syllable of his name with that same ‘Captain’ tone he used to reprime the  _ overly enthusiastic _ Nekoma players. 

“Fine. But you have to buy me shaved ice too”

* * *

 

Iwaizumi reached Kenma still looking back at the place Kuroo and Oikawa had disappeared to. He knew Kuroo was up to no good, he could feel it in his bones, just what that was… Well, Iwaizumi had no idea. 

 

“You are thinking too much.” Iwaizumi turned to the blond kid in front of him who was obviously talking to him but had eyes only for the huge and beautiful ocean in front of them. Kenma sneaked a glance at his companion and got back to facing the landscape again. “Your eyes get weirdly intense when you think too much.”

 

They made their way to the shore before any answer was given, both of them needing a nice distraction from the bitterness of the loss. Maybe they were both thinking too much. Iwaizumi’s head hurt and he wasn’t even sure why. His whole body was hyper-alert as if he was processing stuff on his subconscious and doing something utterly different on the surface. Problem was… Iwaizumi, again, had no idea. It was as if the feeling of loss was bigger than just from losing that game and the national high school volleyball title - yet again -, he felt himself inside a hurricane. It’s what people say, in the eye of the hurricane is the quietest place possible, but there’s still a huge mess swirling around you. He supposed Kenma felt the same. 

 

“Hajime… You’ve made your decision right?” Iwaizumi was pulled out of his own world. Kenma had already set up their little space on the sand. “I mean.. about the Junior Colleges. You seemed to have already made up your mind the other day.”

 

Iwaizumi took the parasol from Kenma’s hands, placing it correctly as to get them as much shadow as possible. He cleaned his hands on his shorts and sat down, still pondering the question. “I guess”

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“You know Gakudai?”

 

Kenma frowned, looking him in the eyes

 

“They don’t have a Junior College”

 

Iwaizumi almost snorted. 

 

“No, but they are in the Junior Volleyball league and, apparently, in need of a.coaches.”

 

Kenma’s eyes winded a bit. He let out a small ‘oh’

 

“Congrats. I saw the Gakudai coach at the high school championship. I see why now. I’m glad” A faint smile appeared on Kenma’s lips, to Iwaizumi’s surprise. “Have you told Tooru yet?”

 

Iwaizumi knew this was a tricky question. Oikawa would have told Kenma himself if he had known already. Hell, Oikawa would have begun searching for apartments already.  _ Wait.. are they going to move in together? _

 

“‘No’, then.” Kenma turned to face the ocean, the small smile still playing on his lips “You have the crazy eyes again. You shouldn’t be scared of talking to your best friend, Hajime.”

 

“Well... It’s just that… Something happened the other day…”

 

Kenma looked back at him, both brows arched.

* * *

Kuroo laughed so hard he almost dropped the pair of shaved ice cones he was holding.

“Holy fuck, Oikawa! That was straight out of a shoujo manga, my man!” By his side, Oikawa only  _ tsked _ and walked faster, feeling his whole face heating up. “So no kiss, no nothing and neither of you talked about it after, right?”

“Something like that”

“Something like that?! Holy shit. You two are fucking idiots, that’s what.”

“Like you are the one to talk, Captain-chan!” Oikawa stuck his tongue out. They made their way down to the shore as fast as they could so not to melt the ice. “Besides this is all your fault anyway, putting shit in my head and making me remember that stupid middle school kiss thing!!”

“I might have reminded you of it, yes, but the desire to kiss him is all on your own, my friend.”

“D-desire?! you.. you”

Kuroo looked back to him with a very smug expression. “Right on the nose uh”

They made it to the little space Kenma and Iwaizumi had prepared for the four of them with Oikawa still muttering and bickering by himself - with an occasional loud laughter from Kuroo. Oikawa gave Iwaizumi his ice and sat right on the opposite side from him, still glaring at Kuroo. 

“Are you making fun of Tooru again, Kuroo?” Kenma lifted his sharp hazel eyes at his friend, talking between bites of shaved ice. 

“It’s just too easy.” he knelt down, looking for the volleyball inside the bag that Kenma had carried down. “Eat up and let’s play some ball!”

Oikawa shoved all the ice at once in his mouth, dropping most of it on the sand, and pulled Iwaizumi by the wrist before he could finish his. The both of them and Kuroo made passes at each other as they waited for Kenma to calmly finish his treat. A giggle or a laugh erupted every now and then.  

And so the afternoon came, the day passing like a warm breeze. Calm. Lazy. A needed breath of fresh air. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS DEVELOPMENT YAS
> 
> so next chapter is gonna be long af  
> and it has been a pain to write it. I've written around it for too long and now I'm SUFFERING.   
> This was the last chapter that I had already kind of ready. The next ones are gonna be winged - sort of.  
> pray for me.
> 
> Also it's highly likely that this fic will be 2 chapters longer than predicted. Sorry.


	9. I AM FIGHTING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The University Championship begins. Oikawa sees an old face amongst the players. Iwaizumi is getting deeper and deeper into a problem he himself created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was getting ridiculously big so I had to cut in half.
> 
> tw: masturbation

Oikawa felt his skin prickle as he walked inside the gymnasium where the University Championship would occur. Almost all the 14 teams were running around all over the place. The tall man took a deep breath, trying to steady himself and take in his surroundings. The games would take place two at a time over the next couple of days. Oikawa was already overwhelmed by the fast pacing and the huge gymnasium, built for the future Olympic Games. 

 

Kuroo patted his shoulder and ran to where Bokuto and the rest of Kyoto University were sitting, they would only play that afternoon. Oikawa frowned. Of course, K University had qualified for the finals as well. Bokuto caught his eyes and waved at him with too much euphory. Oikawa wrinkled his nose at him, making his way to the bleachers as well. Tokyo U had the third game of the morning. 

 

Soon enough the court was cleared to make way for the 4 teams playing the first set of games. A tall figure with a stern face wearing the bright blue uniform of Gakudai University almost made Oikawa choke. 

 

“Fucking Ushijima! I can’t believe this!”

 

He slapped his tight and glared at the general direction that Ushijima was. Oikawa was _ pissed _ , all his nerves dissolving into the warm rage of an old rivalry. 

 

Iwaizumi sat beside him, opening a bag of chips. He assessed the Gakudai team and quickly found the same familiar face that his friend had just met. He held his breath. 

 

_ Well, shit. _

 

“Are you seeing this, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa balled his hands over the soft fabric of his Tokyo University pants. He could feel his veins lifting up inch by inch. Iwaizumi threw him a cautious glance. 

 

“Chill, Oikawa. You will only play against Gakudai if both them and Tokyo U win the games today. Focus on winning your first game  _ then  _ be jumping up at the opportunity to face Ushijima again.”

 

Kenma walked up to them, his baggy clothes ever present, even in the middle of the hot japanese summer. As he sat down, Oikawa stood up. Iwaizumi sighed.

 

“ _ Chill _ , Oikawa.”

 

“I have to talk to the coach.” Oikawa said, already moving away, still with his hands closed on fists. 

 

Kenma shot him a clear look before fishing out his phone. Iwaizumi shifted around in his seat, eyes looking but not seeing. 

 

“What’s with Tooru?”

 

Iwaizumi knit his brows together and shrugged. There was no point in hiding anything from Kenma anyway.

 

“We just found out our old rival is playing for Gakudai”

 

Kenma finished sending his text and closed the phone, scanning the court as the judge blew the whistle and the game was begun. Ushijima wasn’t a hard person to spot, even easier with Oikawa glaring at him full force from beside his coach. He turned to look at Iwaizumi, studying his features. 

 

“I guess that complicates things for you.”

 

Iwaizumi could feel his shoulders hurting from the tension. A warm ball of pain dissipating from the middle of his shoulder blades.  “I guess”

* * *

 

“No”

Oikawa desperately wanted to kill his coach right now. “But-”

“No, Oikawa! You won’t play the first game. Save your strengths and believe in your teammates, kid.” T’s coach made a move to walk away, but Oikawa grabbed his wrist. 

“You don’t understand, coach! There’s-”

The coach easily released himself from Oikawa’s grip and gave him a stern look, pushing on his student’s shoulder and keeping him at an arm’s length.

“I  _ understand _ that the last time you played a game with your emotions swirling through your eyes like some devil’s hurricane, there was blood and puke on my jersey.”

Oikawa could feel his nails digging holes on his palm. He grabbed his coach’s arm.

“Let me show you how much I’ve improved, then.”

* * *

Iwaizumi hadn’t taken his eyes off Oikawa during the whole first game. Gakudai won by a landslide, but the second game on the court was still taking place, down to a decisive third set. As soon as that game ended Tokyo U. was going to begin their match against District 8 University, bringing the first morning of the University’s Championship to a close.  Iwaizumi felt like he wasn’t breathing. He heard Kenma sighting by his side.

“You could use your own advice” He turned to the blond boy, confusion plastered all over his face. Kenma gave him a poignant look. “ _ Chill _ ”

If the circumstances were a tad different, Iwaizumi would have laughed. But no, his whole body was so on edge that he jumped in his seat when the loud whistle declared the second game of the morning had ended. Kenma crooked his head to the side, still studying Iwaizumi’s features. 

“Shouldn’t you go and talk to your future boss?” Iwaizumi’s shoulders shot up and he broke eye contact with Kenma. Resting his back against the seat and looking back to the court, Kenma arched his brows “You can’t because you haven’t told Tooru yet, have you?” a long and heavy silence stretched between them. “You are both idiots”

* * *

 

Oikawa Tooru stepped on the court like  _ some devil’s hurricane _ . The sheer amount of determination in his eyes was fearsome. They had to win the next two games to face Gakudai and - oh - Oikawa was about to do just that. He would bully and glare his enemies to submission if he had to. His fingers opened and closed waiting for the judge to begin the match. Iwaizumi was right there watching him. Ushijima was right there watching him. Oikawa could feel fire filling his lungs. This was  _ his court _ ,  _ his game _ , and boy did he know how to play it. 

The whistle was blown and Oikawa breathed in. Deep. He looked at the kid on the other side of the net and smirked. The kid flinched. For the fastest two sets that Oikawa had ever played, all the District 8 players seemed to be flinching. After his rotation on the serve - winning amazing 5 points, aiming always at the scared kid from the beginning of the game - Oikawa almost slouched himself on the net, whispering salty words to the block of the other team. 

Tokyo U won.

Oikawa’s hand was still twitching. One more game to go. 

  
  


The afternoon games came and went very fast. Oikawa remained on the bleachers with Kuroo - and Iwaizumi -, most of the T’s players had gone home to rest themselves for their matches on the next day. But Oikawa was concentrated. He watched all the games of their potential rivals, paying special attention to Kyoto University’s - who of course won.  He had to be dragged back to the dorms by Iwaizumi after they found out who Tokyo U would play against the next morning: District 5 University. 

Oikawa quickly discovered that they would share the court with Gakudai, who would play the second match of the day.  _ Close _ . He could feel his breath heavy with anticipation. If both Gakudai and Tokyo U win their games the next morning then they will face each other in the afternoon.  _ Oikawa couldn’t wait. _

Iwaizumi shoved a towel in his face, breaking his train of thought. Oikawa blinked up.

“When did you take a shower?” he wrinkled his nose “you are dripping”

“While your mind was being abducted. Go clean yourself, Oikawa, you stink.” Iwaizumi made his way to his - Kuroo’s - bed and put down his neatly folded used clothes, picking up the towel he had thrown at Oikawa and using it to dry a bit his hair. 

“That’s impossible, Iwa-chan. The Great Oikawa-san never stinks.” Oikawa got himself up with flamboyant movements. 

“Well, that’s just your natural smell then.”

Oikawa stuck out his tongue and left for the showers. Iwaizumi looked over to where Spielberg’s cage was. He would be taking his pet back with him to his mother’s house as soon as the University’s Nationals ended. The thought of going back to his hometown felt strange. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure where was his ‘home’ anymore. Soon enough he would have to come to Tokyo on a more permanent base. He would have his own apartment. Iwaizumi looked at the door where his best friend had just left and sighed. 

“How the hell am I supposed to tell him, Spielberg?”

When Oikawa came back he found Iwaizumi asleep on his bed with Spielberg lying by his side. He snorted and took a picture. Iwaizumi let his eyes flutter open. 

“You will kill the poor thing with your heavy heavy body, Iwa-chan”

“Yet I’ve slept with you countless times and I’m still alive” he grunted, still half asleep. A sweet smile softens Oikawa’s features. He crouched down so he could speak closer to his best friend’s face

“So, we will have a chance on revenge tomorrow. Can you believe it?” Iwaizumi snorted, closing his eyes, but turning his face to Oikawa’s voice. Oikawa twirled Iwaizumi’s small strands of hair on his fingers, resting his chin on his left palm. “I’ll win, Iwa-chan. We will win. Finally”

“Aren’t you a confident guy, TrashyKawa.” Iwaizumi screwed his eyes without opening them, but there was a playful tone on his voice, and his body turned more to his friend’s direction. Oikawa let out a breath that Iwaizumi felt on his face

“Sure I am!” he rested both his arms on the bed, laying his head besides Iwaizumi’s. “Will I get a reward after all these years of hard work?”

“You will get a trophy, sure enough”

“Will  _ you  _ give me something?”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes to find Oikawa’s deep painite eyes staring back at him.

“I’ll get you something for your birthday.”

“That’s not fair.  _ When _ we get a win from Ushijima I want two gifts” 

Iwaizumi squinted his eyes “Why do I feel like you have something very specific in mind?”

Oikawa laughed, getting himself up in order to sit on the bed, instead of partially lying on it. He put one of his hands by his friend’s head, who shifted to follow him. Oikawa cast a shadow over Iwaizumi’s body. “I do.”

Iwaizumi felt his breath catching in his throat

“Will you do it? Won’t you?”

“You haven’t told me what it is yet.”

Oikawa laughed, lowering himself to rest his forehead on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. He immediately lifted his hand to caress Oikawa’s fluffy hair. He had noticed that both of them were in an urge to keep their skins in contact as much as possible. Bumping shoulders, intertwining legs under the table or simply letting their arms brush against the other as they walked side by side. Iwaizumi assumed that this was a way to deal with some sort of  _ withdrawal  _ from no longer having his best friend literally by his side. He figured it was normal, so he tried not to dwell on it for too long. 

Iwaizumi heard the shifting of sheets from where Oikawa had balled his hands. The next time his friend spoke came in hot turfs of air on his neck, sending jolts of energy down his body.  “You should just say yes to all of me,  _ Iwa-chan _ ”

“Well, when you sign a deal with the Devil you have to know what the small letters say.” Oikawa laughed again, making Iwaizumi work hard to suppress a shiver. “Get up, we will kill Spielberg like that.” Iwaizumi tried to move his face to check on the lizard, but Oikawa’s wavy hair made for all of his view. He let his cheek rest against the top of his friend’s head.

“I’m fighting, Iwa-chan”

“I know you are. Just save your strengths to fight tomorrow”

Oikawa shook his head and rested his nose on the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck.

“No.” Iwaizumi could feel the other’s shoulders tense up “not that”

“Oikawa…” he sighed, moving his hand from Oikawa’s hair to a light caress on his lower back. Oikawa tensed up even more.

“Just.. Give me five seconds.”

Iwaizumi stopped his hand on his friend’s waist, on a half embrace, and looked up at the ceiling. He could feel Oikawa’s heart beating against his. He could feel the scent of Oikawa’s soap and the sweet shampoo on his hair. He could feel a funny gooey feeling spread from his chest to the rest of his body but keeping an almost painful hold on his heart. He could feel Oikawa’s breathing making his skin prickle and his body warm all over. 

Iwaizumi swallowed dry. He would say yes to anything that man asked for.

  
  
  


Oikawa woke up on his bed. He turned sideways, head throbbing, and looked across the room to his friend’s naked back. Iwazumi had thrown his sheets away and his small boxers were clinging on his ass. Oikawa could see his friend’s shoulders move a little as he breathed calmly. Oikawa bit his lower lip, eyes still hazy with sleep. 

He took in a deep breath, trying to catch some of Iwaizumi’s scent. Not that he needed to make much effort, the whole room smelled like Iwaizumi. Oddly enough, his friend had always smelled like earthy tones. A raw, fresh scent. Oikawa felt his boxers grow tight. Sure enough, he had always thought that  _ Iwa-chan _ was cute. His upset face was cute, the way he cared for Oikawa was cute, and he was especially cute when he got flustrated.  _ So cute _ …

Oikawa palmed his clothed dick, feeling it twitch a little. He bit his lip again in a not so efficient effort to control a small whimper. 

When in court, Iwaizumi wasn’t  _ cute _ anymore, though. He was out right  _ beautiful _ . A raging machine full of focus and power. Oikawa loved that side of him. That side that could consume his soul with only one move. As he traced the lines of Iwaizumi’s back with his eyes, Oikawa’s mind flashed memories of his friend’s flushed and confident face. Iwaizumi was growing more and more confident each passing day. A confident Iwa-chan was so… Sexy.

“Nhngg” Oikawa jolted at the accidental sound, bringing his hand back to silence his mouth. He felt his dick throb inside his boxers, abs clenching hard at the coil of pressure on his lower body. Oikawa’s breath picked up the pace as his hand traveled back down again. He felt somewhat bashful. Sure thing Iwaizumi had walked in on him masturbating more than once while they were growing up, but never while he was thinking of  _ him. _ To be honest, Oikawa never really thought about anyone, in particular, that’s why this time he was freaking out. 

He moved his head to suppress a moan as the snuck his hands inside his boxers. The warm and sleek skin jolted against his cold hands. Oikawa wanted to scream Iwaizumi’s name. 

He was overthrown by an urge to crawl in bed with his best friend and touch him all over.  _ God, Iwaizumi was so beautiful _ . He missed so much the small touches they would give each other on daily basis. Oikawa breathed in deep, his hand picking up the pace as he both fought and consider the possibility of actually doing this with Iwaizumi.  _ I bet it would feel so good… I bet it would _

  
“ _ Nghnn Iw~a-c-han”  _ he was about to screw his eyes shut when he heard Iwaizumi grunting low on the other side of the room, an unconscious response to having Oikawa calling out his name. Oikawa’s breath cough on his throat, toes curling up and shoulders tensing. Oikawa did his best to not to make a mess as he came hard in his hand. 

* * *

 

Oikawa sat the game against District 5 out. He was very fine with that, he needed to be on top form if he was going to win against Ushijima and he wasn’t going to tire himself with a University that sounded like someone was too lazy to think of a better name. Plus, Kuroo was playing - and he was freaking awesome today. Oikawa knew that for sure because Kenma hadn’t looked at his phone once during the whole match. Both he and Iwaizumi were watching the games from the bleachers again. 

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi from down the court with half shame half weird gooey feelings. He hadn’t had a chance to discuss his _ministrations_ with Kuroo - he, unfortunately,  was the _in love with ma best friend_ expert - so he waited rather eagerly the third set to finish. District 5 had won the first set, but Tokyo U won the second one and was only 3 points away from match point. 

About ten minutes later, the match ended as predicted and Oikawa almost jumped Kuroo. They had no time, in little more than half an hour they would - finally - be facing Gakudai.

“Aren’t you looking refreshed” Kuroo turned to him, breathing heavily. The knowing smirk on his face almost made Oikawa ask if there were any cameras in their room.

“I always look awesome, Captain-chan.” he flicked his hair “But listen, I had an interesting morning”

“Oh  _ please _ not on my bed.” Kuroo made a face, Oikawa glared.

“No.  _ No _ .” he sighed. “but also maybe yes? Erm and maybe I used  _ Otabek’s _ line on him??”

“HOLY SHIT!” the players on the court all turned to them at Kuroo’s shout. Oikawa jolted, dragging his friend to the benches. 

“ _ No _ , Kuroo! It was just me! Me!!” Oikawa kept making a horrid face while pulling at his friend’s jersey. Part of him was desperate, part of him was ready to jump ship and just kiss Iwaizumi without a warning. Oikawa wasn’t sure of which part was winning.  Kuroo kept staring at him, processing the information, when he finally got it, a devilish grin lit up his face.

“Oya oya oya” he pulled Oikawa by the shoulders “now tell me I’m right”

“What”

“I called it. Besides, I love hearing that I’m right. It doesn’t happen that often.” 

Oikawa frowned at him “You are shit, Kuroo. Fuck you. Help me!”

“Looks like you’ve already helped yourself.” Kuroo laughed, punching Oikawa slightly on the chest. But Oikawa was beyond joking.

“I meaaaaan it! Help me! What should I do?!”

Kuroo held him by the shoulders with both hands and looked at him dead in the eye. “Confess”

Oikawa snorted.

“You can’t be serious. Besides, I’ll confess to what? Wanting to suck his dick?” Kuroo blinked slowly and coughed. “You can’t seriously be embarrassed by that.”

Kuroo glared a little, more to himself than to his friend. 

“Fine, then. We will make a bet”

  
Oikawa frowned. “I’m not liking this”

Kuroo dismissed him with his hands.

“If we win against Gakudai you confess.”

“No. I definitely don’t like this” 

Kuroo narrowed his eyes at him “If we lose, I confess”

“We are not going to lose, Kuroo. This is not a fair bet.” Oikawa rested both of his hands on his hips. Kuroo sighed, half regretting this already.

“Maybe so, but you’ll be so happy that doing a small thing like  _ confessing  _ should be easy, right?” Oikawa closed his features in thought. Kuroo reached for his shoulder “besides, if you lose, you will at least have fun watching me trying to make a fool out of myself. Win/win.”

Oikawa pouted, but let his shoulders drop in defeat. “Ok~ay, fine! I’m in. But you better do something incredibly ridiculous as your  _ confession method  _ if you lose. I’d suggest you put on a cheerleading uniform and spell out ‘i love you’” 

Oikawa shook imaginary pom-poms on his hands and left to warm up laughing his ass off, ditching a fuming Kuroo behind. 

* * *

“Oikawa”

Oikawa turned around, the ball still in hand, face slowly dissipating the hard focus it had just maintained till a minute ago. Ushijima was a step away from him. He stilled for a moment, part of him wanting to throw the ball right on his rival’s face. Oikawa fixed his posture.

“Well if it isn’t Ushiwaka-chan! Miss me much?” he smiled, more teeth than happiness. 

Ushijima looked at him for a moment, no expression showing on his face.

“Yes”

Oikawa frowned. “What do you want? Came to sweet talk me not to serve you your ass in front of your new teammates?”

Ushijima crooked his head to the side, then, with the slowest move he could make, looked around the court where the other players were warming up.

“I came to see if you would play. You weren’t in the last game.”

“Of course I’ll! You think I’d waste the chance to finally get my revenge? Are you an idiot, Ushiwaka-chan?”

Ushijima hummed, turning back his eyes to Oikawa and then to search the bleachers. Oikawa followed his gaze. 

“I just assume we would finally be on the same side.” Ushijima had fixed where Iwaizumi and Kenma talked in a low tune. 

“Why the hell would I be on your side? You are playing against my university!” Oikawa pointed at him for emphasis, bringing the volleyball close to his chest with the other hand. “And don’t fuck go back to a  _ Gakudai  _ version of  _ You should have come to Shiratorizawa _ ” he squinted his eyes as if mimicking the man’s blank stare. Ushijima looked at him and frowned. 

“No. I thought I wouldn’t have to. With… You know.” Oikawa considered the sheer confusion on his rival’s face.

“Whatever mind game you are playing at, fuck off. I don’t care if you are at Shiratorizawa or Gakudai or the fucking National Team. I’ll beat the hell out of you on the court.”

“I am”

“What?”

“On the national team.” Oikawa clenched his teeth in an effort not to take a step back “The Junior Team, that is.”

Oikawa breathed in, letting the noises of the players warming up flood him like a reassuring wave. He looked up at Iwaizumi on the bleachers again. He found the pair of dark eyes looking at him back. Even from so far away Oikawa could still take comfort in the presence of his best friend. Iwaizumi was both his soft spot and his source of strength at the same time. Iwaizumi was  _ his _ .

“Even better.” Oikawa turned his head to Ushijima, a challenging smile resting on his lips. “I bet it will sting even more.”

Ushijima said nothing, boring his eyes on Oikawa’s till the referee called for the game to start. Both men ran to their teams. 

  
  
  


Iwaizumi felt his shoulders hurt from the stress. A nod of guilt congesting his throat and making it hard to breathe. He couldn’t take his eyes of his best friend and future teammate talking. Kenma looked at him for a long time before gently touching Iwaizumi’s knee.  He squeezed it lightly and let it go before too long. Iwaizumi sighed. 

“I won’t remind you that you had the chance to talk to Tooru before it escalated like this.”

Iwaizumi let out a small, pained laugh. It almost sounded like a whimper. 

“Thanks, Kenma”

The blond kid kept his stare on his friend till a loud whistle crossed the arena and Gakudai and Tokyo University were taking their places on the court. Kenma heard Iwaizumi holding in a breath. 

* * *

 

Oikawa was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hear the referee announce the beginning of the game. His heartbeat was so loud that it thrummed through his ears, deafening him to everything but his own thoughts. And all he could think about was winning. He glanced sideways to meet his coach’s worried stare. Oikawa imagined he must be shaking at this point. But the Tokyo U Coach had nothing to worry about, Oikawa smiled, he wasn’t shaking out of nervousness. Oikawa was trembling with excitement. 

The match began in a slow rhythm, both teams a tad tired from playing earlier. Finals were much more about stamina than technic. And Oikawa would thrive. A chance ball came rolling above the net, he saw Tokyo U’s libero get ready to give him a perfect height ball, but as he looked across the net to where he knew Ushijima would be, his rival wasn’t there. Oikawa made a second split decision and jumped to gently tap the ball before it could make his way to the libero already in place. Finta.

The ball fell right beside Gakudai’s setter, slowly rolling through their side of the court. Oikawa heard a grunt and lifted his head to see Ushijima with both arms up, still dazed, where everyone obviously expected Oikawa to send the ball to. He gave the man a smirk before assuming his new position at the rotation. 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi was up and with both hands clenching the protection bar by the time the first set was drawing to a close. For more than once, Kenma thought he forgot to breathe as Iwaizumi stood so still his eyes barely blinked. The first set was played point by point, both boys were a little afraid that neither team would be able to get the needed difference to end the game. Kenma sighted. This match would last a long time. This was bad. Kuroo was already tired, he could see that by the way, his best friend reached for air every time the score changed. 

“Your team is really good” Kenma felt himself tense under his own words. If Kuroo lost this he would be devastated. Iwaizumi barely grunted in acknowledgment. The man kept his eyes glued on Oikawa during the whole thing, his muscles spasming ever so slightly every time the other moved. Almost as if they were playing together. Kenma watched it amazed by their sync, even after so many months not playing for the same team. He wondered if they would still be like that after Iwaizumi got in as Gakudai’s assistant coach. He was sure Iwaizumi had the same thing on his mind.

The referee signaled a point to Gakudai, making it their 24th point of the set, the team moved and it was Ushijima’s turn on the serve. Iwaizumi’s knees locked in place and he took a deep breath. He could see as Ushijima cocked his head to the side, staring directly at Oikawa, and mouth something he couldn’t make out. Oikawa seemed pissed, a drop of sweat dancing down his face and dripping from his chin. Iwaizumi saw his best friend clench and unclench his hands several times before the whistle allowed Ushijima to play. The only other time their old rival had been on the serve during that match had hindered 2 balls misdirected by Tokyo U’s libero right on poor Henmi’s, their left-wing player, face. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew that Ushijima didn’t want the ball to touch Oikawa’s hand. 

Ushijima jumped and his hand hit the ball as if it was always meant to be there. The harshness of the serve left a hiss of cold air as it crossed the court right on Tokyo U libero’s sore arms. The hit made the man fall on his ass, but, very crookedly, the ball was up in the air just above the libero’s head.

_ Fuck. _

In a sprint, Oikawa almost knocked Kuroo over, he breathed in was he fell in position, seconds before he knew for sure the ball would fit in his fingers like a puzzle piece, and looked over to a pissed off Henmi, in position to attack and wanting nothing more than getting revenge on Ushijima from the two balls that had made a home of his face. Oikawa twitched his fingers as he felt the weight of the ball on them.  _ Fuck no, they will be waiting _ . Gathering some strength, he pushed the ball up in a diagonal arch, right across the net, stumbling a little on the process. 

But they _ were  _ waiting. Gakudai’s setter made a slow move with his right palm and hit the ball right on the other side, was Oikawa had just run from to get Ushijima’s ball, and just like he had done at the beginning of the game. Oikawa heard the ball kick on the floor to the rhythm of his own beating heart. Set point to Gakudai.

For a minute Tokyo U’s team didn’t move as their adversaries cheered across the court. Kuroo had to help Oikawa to make his legs move again.  _ He had them. He had the point. _ Oikawa looked up to see his rival setter smirk down at him. A nauseating feeling took over his body, clenching hard on his heart. He shoved Kuroo to the side as they both made their way out of the court, and went over where Gakudai’s setter stood. He was a tall broad man, really round eyes and dark hair damp from sweat glued on his rather big forehead. Oikawa grasped the net, dumping his weight on it.

“Yo, Forehead-chan” the other setter’s eye twitched at the nickname. Oikawa’s smile was sweet and sickening. “I betcha thinking that you are  _ oh~ _ so awesome, right?” he inched closer, a smile stretching his mouth “I betcha think that you are gonna get an easy win from us, riiiiiiggght~” Oikawa dragged the last word as if singing it. He took one of his hand from the nods of the net and reached under it to grab the man’s wrist, pulling him to make their foreheads touch. “Why don’t you think again?”

“Oikawa!” the setter let go of the Gakudai player’s wrist and turned to where he heard his name being called, an effortless smile on his face. 

“Yessss, coach?” he hummed, making his way to where the rest of the team was. 

Behind him, the tall, broad Gakudai setter couldn’t move.

* * *

 

“They are going to lose, aren’t they?”

Iwaizumi felt his knees buckle, so he rested his forehead on the protection bars, stretching his back as he moved. 

“Kuroo will take this badly” Kenma continued, as if he hadn’t just gone unanswered, and shrugged “He should be used to this by now.”

Iwaizumi laughed and straightened himself, finally leaving the bars to sit beside Kenma again. 

“You are too quick to count them off.” he massaged his sore shoulders, aching from the ever lasting tension. Kenma looked at him as if daring him to say something different. “Then again, there’s a reason why they call you  _ brain _ ”

“It’s just easy to see that Tooru isn’t exactly in sync with his team yet.”

“That dumb shit is thinking too much.” Iwaizumi watched as Tokyo U’s coach talked with his team, most likely fixing game tactics. “He needs to calm the fuck down”

“Maybe go there and calm him, then?”

Iwaizumi turned to Kenma, eyebrows arching up.

“I can’t. Besides, what would I do? Kiss him good luck?” He grunted, letting his body sink into the uncomfortable chair.

Kenma smiled fondly, looking over to where Tooru and Kuroo where standing as well.

“Well, maybe that’s just what he needs”.

Iwaizumi lightly kicked Kenma’s leg as the referee urged the second set to begin. 

* * *

Oikawa started the second set on the bench. He was beyond pissed. The coach fucked him over threatening the other team -  _ more than once _ , he added - and now Oikawa where to chill on the bench. Henmi sat right beside him, two pieces of cotton shoved in his nostrils. Receiving Ushijima’s hits with your face should be damaged it a bit, Oikawa pondered. Between the ragged breath of his teammate and the  _ thuds  _ the ball made every time it hit the floor, Oikawa felt like he would crawl out of his own skin.

The second set danced to the rhythm of the first one, neither team being able to get more than a point over the other. The players from both sides were tired, too tired. The rotations were getting faster and the complicated techniques were being left out for simpler ones that didn’t drain them so much. 

They were over the second half of the set, Kuroo had come to grace the benches with his butt as well, and Oikawa had to focus all his will not to beg his coach to let him play again. Ushijima kept on stealing glances at him till it was his time on the serve. The referee blew the whistle and the man spent his entire 8 seconds looking at Oikawa before doing a jump serve right on Tokyo U setter’s face.  

The referee almost jumped out of his place, calling out for a yellow card to Ushijima and giving the point to T University. He allowed time out as the hurt setter tried to get up for himself. The coach sighed, looking over his shoulder to where Oikawa was already standing up. 

“I saw that”

Oikawa reached for his number tag, avoiding the eyes of his coach. 

  
“I did absolutely nothing beyond  _ chill. _ ”

Tokyo U’s active setter wobbled out of court, picking up Oikawa’s tag as he crossed the line. Oikawa assumed his position back in court on the serve. If Ushijima wanted to play, he would play. As soon as the referee allowed, he hit the ball with a Jump Serve that didn’t lose in power or strength to the one that had just send his teammate over to the infirmary. Gakudai’s libero let out a loud gasp as he received it, rather awkwardly, on the other side. The ball had no height and, although some other players tried to dive in and save it, the point eventually went to Tokyo U. 

Oikawa went back to the serve with his hand still tingling from the previous impact. He breathed in and fixed his eyes on the hurt libero on the other side.  _ Weakened link _ . He swirled the ball a little on his hands and took two steps forward, jumping up and giving a light shove on the ball. It was just a tap, really. The ball wobbled and barely made it to the other side. Gakudai’s setter had no choice but to try and hit it past the net, but Oikawa had made a run for it and jumped right when his rival players touched the ball, using his own hand as a block. With no force behind it, and taken by surprise, Gakudai’s setter had to struggle to keep standing up as Oikawa shoved the ball ever so lightly right to his side, head tilted, smiling. 

Tokyo U was two points ahead now. There was a reinvigorated energy rummaging through the whole time. They buzzed at the prospect of winning. Oikawa went back to the serve, taking his time as not to be predicted by the adversaries, he took two steps back and did a jump serve as precise and powerful as he could, burying a hole right beside Gakudai’s left wing spiker. Ushijima bores his eyes on him. He almost looked..  _ proud. _ Oikawa made a face at his rival and took the ball in his hands again, feeling it fill the whole of his sore palms.

One more point to set point. Oikawa would win. He would win for his team, for his university - he looked over to see Iwaizumi clenching the protection bars, staring at him - he would win for his Iwaizumi. He would show him. Everything would fit after this. Finally, fit. Everything would be okay. 

  
  
  
  


Not 10 minutes later, Oikawa was staring at his shoes without seeing. The pain in his eyes tugged hard and made him speechless. Tokyo U had lost to Gakudai.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello darkness my old friend


	10. Not yours to play with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa tries to deal with his failed revenge on Ushijima. He just wasn't expecting to have to deal with a whole other sort of loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey  
> look at who finally made it on time!

Oikawa felt a shiver running up his spine after being longer than needed under the water of the running faucet. His hair was soaked through, in an effort to diminish the burning on his eyes and face. He could still hear the cheers and yells on the court beside him. Tokyo U was playing against some other district for the third place. 

 

“ _ Third place…” _ Oikawa muttered. He was feeling awful for their recent loss, but the bitter taste on his mouth came almost with a nostalgic aftertaste. They had lost to Ushijima yet again. How can he face Iwaizumi after that? Oikawa had wasted their redeeming chance and now both his rivals - K University and Gakudai - were facing each other for the title of champion.  _ Champion on kicking the grand king’s ass _ , he thought. 

 

Oikawa turned the faucet off as he replayed, for the 100th time in less than one hour, the final 10 minutes of his match against Ushijima. He had him. Tokyo U was winning.  But then his serve got hit back by their  _ fucking stupid hurt  _ libero and everything went downhill from that. Tokyo U made no other serves. It was a true savage ending.

 

Ushijima had pulled him by the wrist once it was finally over, but, before his rival could utter a word, Oikawa came at him full force, headbutting his nose. Kuroo and Henmi had to come and drag him off Ushijima’s body. 

 

Oikawa was served with a red card and was out of any official match for the remaining year. His coach threatened to kick him out of the team and sent Oikawa to cool off. Thus Oikawa had his head been under the running water for over half an hour. He didn’t manage to cool off.

* * *

  
  


“Well, at least the blood wasn’t his this time,” Kuroo said in between his teeth, as he and Kenma quietly talked over the current match. “I consider this an improvement” 

 

Kenma blinked at him, feeling his nerves on edge. His friend seemed rather calm, Kenma thought he would go on a similar rampage that Tooru had gone. But no. Kuroo seemed fine. The only thing out of the ordinary with him was that now the man was staring at Kenma more openly, not even averting his eyes when caught. Kenma couldn’t read anything on his face though, other than a sheer focus and curiosity. Kenma imagined that  _ his share  _ of either anger or sorrow would come soon enough. 

 

“Have you guys seen Oikawa?” Iwaizumi approached them running, his face rather red and seemingly out of breath. His eyes scanned the room, searching.

 

Kuroo shook his head sideways and shrugged. 

 

“He has to come out soon. Our match is ending and the final will begin. Just wait here a little bit.” Iwaizumi frowned, letting out a worried breath. Kuroo sipped on his water through the straw “Where were you by the way?”

 

Iwaizumi looked down and gulped. He opened and closed his mouth several times.

 

“Were you talking with your future boss, Hajime?”

 

Kuroo swirled the straw on his tongue, looking from Kenma to Iwaizumi. 

 

“What are you hiding, Wonder boy?”

* * *

  
  


When Oikawa finally dignified the court with his presence again, Ushijima was out of the infirmary and back on his jersey - with bloody red spots all over it - shaking the hands of K University’s players right before their match begins. Oikawa caught a wide eyed Bokuto making a loud comment on Ushijima’s shirt when was their turn to shake hands. Ushijima didn’t reply to that.

 

As he sat down with the rest of his team, with Henmi sputtering low curses at him. Oikawa looked at him dead in the eye and stuck out his tongue, lifting up his middle finger. 

 

“Hey” Kuroo arrived, taking the empty space by his side and sighing. Oikawa looked at his friend, who seemed to avoid his stare, and frowned

 

“Jeez, Captain-chan. What’s with you? Got rejected already?” 

 

Kuroo’s eyes twitched at the small reminder that he had just not only lost the first championship as a university student, he also lost a fucking bet he himself had come up with. He turned to Oikawa with a smart remark already slipping out of his tongue, but, as he looked at his friend, the newly gained knowledge of Iwaizumi’s future made him just sigh deeply and ruffle Oikawa’s hair. Confessing would be a shit job to do, but Oikawa was in a worse predicament.  He just didn’t know yet.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Oikawa batted Kuroo’s hands away, confusing his concern for pity. 

 

“Can’t a boy show his love for his friend?” Kuroo smirked. 

 

Both boys turned as they heard the referee blowing the whistle. The final between K University and Gakudai had just begun.

* * *

 

Iwaizumi waited nervously for Oikawa at the train station. He had to leave before everyone else - but not without sending his congratulations to his future boss for the second place - in order to pack if he wanted to take the last train home. He had already stayed too long, his mother called him twice reminding him that he didn’t live in Tokyo  _ just yet _ . He could even over hear Mrs. Oikawa on the line as well.  _ Damn gossiping mother! _ Iwaizumi cursed lowly. Now it was just a matter of time before Oikawa himself found out from other sources than Iwaizumi. And that couldn’t happen. Iwaizumi needed to tell him today, he needed to tell him now. 

 

Thus, Iwaizumi was nervously standing at the train station. He jolted as he heard his name yelled for across the room. Oikawa came to him with large steps, waving a hand, bronze medal hanging from his neck.  _ He looks too happy _ .

 

“Dammit” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath

 

“Iwa-chan you didn’t need to wait for me here! I was perfectly happy to go back and see you at our room” Oikawa’s face stretched with his smile, eyes closing smoothly once he reached Iwaizumi’s side. 

 

“Well, that’s  _ your _ bedroom”  _ Shit, not that _

 

“ _ Weeeell ~~  _ It’s  _ ours  _ for the moment now, isn’t?” There was that  _ smile  _ again. Iwaizumi wanted to punch the idiot’s face. Oikawa blinked rapidly, drawing closer to Iwaizumi as more and more people found themselves on the platform as well. “Sooo, why is Iwa-chan here? Couldn’t wait to see my cute face?”

 

“Yeah sure…” He pushed lightly on Oikawa’s shoulder, making him start moving towards the exit. “I thought I could buy you ramen or something” 

 

“Is that a new tradition?”

“What?”

 

Oikawa stopped abruptly in the middle of the stairs, making Iwaizumi almost trip over his body. He turned slowly to see his friend’s face, outstretched smile ever present.

 

“You know… After we lose to Ushijima” Oikawa closed his eyes and shrugged, going back to walk the flight of stairs. 

 

“Shut up, Oikawa.” 

 

Oikawa laughed but followed Iwaizumi along the empty and dark Tokyo streets anyway. The University neighborhood got almost empty this late in July, so it was mostly just Iwaizumi and Oikawa, walking silently side by side under the clear sky. 

 

There was a warm breath of air rummaging through them. A damp summer breeze. Oikawa wasn’t looking at him, his fake smile wasn’t there either, the silent street shifted his mind elsewhere as he walked, repeating movements like a well-oiled clock. Iwaizumi took a little step closer to him, making their hands brush. Surprised by the contact, as if it had just fished him out of his head, Oikawa stopped on his tracks, looking at Iwaizumi’s hand with a face so bare of any defense that made Iwaizumi’s brows shot up. 

 

With a dedicated movement, Iwaizumi took Oikawa’s hand in his, intertwining each and every finger slowly, fitting them together with ease. Oikawa kept staring at their hands linked together, eyes blank and mouth slightly open.  _ My Hajime _ .

 

Iwaizumi brushed his thumb on Oikawa’s hand and tugged at it.

 

“C’mon”

 

Picking up their pace, both men walked to the Ramen House. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but remember that winter night what that felt like ages ago. Going back home with Oikawa, his fingers cold, Iwaizumi’s own heart heavy with regret and sadness. This time Iwaizumi felt again that sense of loss as if he was parting ways with his best friend yet again, just now Oikawa’s hands felt warm, not cold, and his fingers held onto Iwaizumi’s like the sheer force of life itself. Once more, Iwaizumi felt a warm, cozy feeling spilling from his chest. 

 

His hand twitched and held Oikawa’s tighter. 

 

* * *

 

Oikawa opened the door and basically threw himself on his bed, almost tripping on Spielberg’s cage along the way. Iwaizumi sighed as he picked up Oikawa’s sports bag that got thrown on the entryway and switched the lights on, closing the door behind him. Oikawa grunted, moving sideways.

 

“Oh! You already packed up.” he sat up, glaring at Iwaizumi’s bag “I thought I’d still have you for the night”

 

“No I...Have to finish some stuff back at home before other stuff happen”

 

Oikawa blinked at him and let out a small laugh

 

“Eloquent as always, my Iwa-chan. What a prince.”

 

“Shut up, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi grunted, leaving Oikawa’s sports bag beside his bed and sitting across from him. He looked at his friend and then down to his own hands, feeling the separation that lingered from Oikawa’s fingers. 

 

“What is it?” Oikawa cocked his head to the side. “You have your thinking face on. It’s not very flattering”. he scoffed. Iwaizumi looked at him more attentively now.

  
“Listen. I have something… to tell you. Long overdue, actually. I.. am sorry”   
  


Oikawa let out a very long sigh, shoulders dropping and eyebrows knitting together. 

 

“Why do I feel like you always have something bad to tell me?” there was a thin line of pure  _ hurt feelings _ underlying Oikawa’s playful smile. 

 

“It’s not really bad, though”

 

Iwaizumi shifted on the bed, their knees knocked together and they both looked down to where their skins were touching. When they played volleyball this kind of simple touch was part of their daily lives. A pat on the shoulders, a small ruffle on the hair. Little touches. Frequent touches. Now, feeling his skin prickle just by the warmth of it against his best friend’s bare knee, Iwaizumi wondered why that feeling was so different this time. He looked up at Oikawa.

 

“I’ll do something to make it up to you.”

 

“You’re making this  _ news _ sound like the worse thing ever, Iwa-chan. And I haven’t even heard it yet”

 

He pressed harder against Oikawa

 

“I’ll let you choose”

 

Oikawa paused, switching his stare from Iwaizumi to the ground again and again. 

 

“Anything?” he let out a breath

 

Iwaizumi looked deep into his eyes. Searching. Finally, he nodded “Sure. Anything”

 

“How about you tell me first and I choose your punishment after I weight your  _ news? _ ” Oikawa shuffled on the bed, creating some space between them. Iwaizumi could still feel the warmth of his friend’s skin. Even if it was fading away.

 

“That sounds hardly fair”

 

“Well, that’s just life I guess.”

 

Iwaizumi glanced at his bag on Kuroo’s bed. He knew he had to make it quick otherwise he’d lose the last train back to his hometown. He sighed.

 

“Remember back to my first night here?” Oikawa blushed.  _ He remembers that night all right _ “We were talking at that pub about my Junior College choices?”

 

“Oh!” Oikawa’s hands reached for both of Iwaizumi’s tights “But that’s anything but bad news, Iwa-chan!”

 

Iwaizumi looked down at his friend’s hands grasping his tights. Oikawa wasn’t shy of putting all his weight on the muscles there. He grasped both of Oikawa’s wrists.

 

“Yeah... Listen. I’ve decided on a school. Actually, I’ve decided a little while ago…”

 

Oikawa was almost shining. He got rid of Iwaizumi’s grip and lunged himself against his best friend. The bed waved with the shifting weight. 

 

“You are coming to Tokyo, right?!”

 

“Y-Yeah”

 

A punch of air left his lungs as Oikawa straddle him and hugged him by the neck. Iwaizumi felt cold oil the taking the place of his blood inch by inch on his body. 

 

“This is fucking awesome, Iwa-chan!!”

 

“No, listen…”

 

“I’ll kick Kuroo out! We can be roommates!”

 

“Oikawa-”

 

“Or maybe we could find a nice small apartment”

 

“Just-”

 

“Oh! Bring Spielberg with you! Actually, you don’t even need to take him back now, right??”

 

Iwaizumi took Oikawa by the waist, making some space between the two of them. “Oikawa, listen to me.”

 

Oikawa furrowed his brows and turned back to his place on the bed. Iwaizumi’s fingers dragged from his waist to his knee. 

 

“What.” the man was desperately searching his face for an answer, his body totally immobile but his eyes never staying at one place for long. 

 

“I’ve been asked to join Gakudai as an assistant coach.” Iwaizumi breathed it out

  
  
  


“Gakudai.”

“Yes”

Oikawa’s frown grew deeper, he bore his eyes at the tip of his friend’s fingers, which were still touching his skin. 

 

“That’s another district”

“Yes”

“Ushijima goes there”

“Yes”

 

He looked up again. Iwaizumi was having trouble reading his emotions. 

 

“We would be adversaries” 

 

Iwaizumi sighed, drawing back his fingers to massage his sore shoulders. “I guess”

 

“No”

 

He arched a brow. “No?”

 

“You said you would do anything I asked, right?” Oikawa crossed his arms “Then I’m telling you not to go to Gakudai.”

 

Iwaizumi almost snorted. “Excuse me?”

 

“You are not going to Gakudai, Hajime.” Oikawa’s eyes had that intense concentrated stare from when he was about to make a hole on the other side of the court. Iwaizumi shivered. “There’s no way we are playing on separate teams. There’s  _ absolutely _ no way you will play with Ushijima against me.”

 

“Oikawa... Are you kidding me right now?”

 

“No!” Oikawa tried to breathe in, feeling a clog constructing his throat. His heart was pounding so heavy on his chest that his jersey was vibrating. Gulping for air, Oikawa turned up his voice “No, Hajime! There’s no way I’ll let you go.” 

 

Iwaizumi balled his hands, lifting himself up so fast that the blood rushed right to his head. 

 

“Go fuck yourself, Oikawa!”

 

The other man got up as well, stepping inside Iwaizumi’s personal space and staring down at him. 

 

“Fuck  _ you _ , Hajime! How can you do this? How can you betray me like that?!” he grasped Iwaizumi’s biceps tight, fingers digging in the muscle. “We were supposed to do this together!”

 

Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand with his left one, making the man let go of his arm. He picked up his bag on the bed and turned to face the door. 

 

“If you dare to take one step out of this room, Hajime, I swear to god, the devil and the life of that ramen lady who always gives me one extra slice of pork for free, that I’ll never look at your ugly face again”

 

Iwaizumi looked back at him. Oikawa’s face was all scrunched up in a way he had never seen before. His eyes were flaming with anger, hurt and possessiveness. Iwaizumi took a careful step towards the other man, reaching for his face and flicking his forehead.

 

“You, idiot Trashykawa, are no one to tell me what to do. I’m not yours to play with.” Iwaizumi stared him deep in the eyes. It was a disappointed and hurt stare, but there was no anger behind it. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, fine. That’s your decision to make”

 

Iwaizumi picked his bag up again and opened the door to the outside. 

  
“But  _ my decisions _ I will make myself”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we will be doing a hiatus after this chapter.  
> I'm off to write de Kuroken version of the next stuff. The whole confession thing.  
> If you don't want to read it there's really no need.   
> It's like a DLC for this story lol.
> 
> Anyways, I should be back late October at most.  
> Also - the story should have 2 or more chapters than predicted. 
> 
> Thank you for your love <3


	11. Later is no good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is an asshole who can't answer doors. Kuroo's life is a mistake. Iwaizumi is his own person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I vanish  
> but hey  
> I'm back
> 
> also: goals for November is to finish writing this. So this fic will end before Christmas that is a promise i'm making right now!

A loud knock echoed in the small dorm room. Again. And again. Oikawa grunted but didn’t bother to get up. The noise continued its rhythm for a while before a long pause made the man almost drift back to his restless sleep. Then a loud shout came from outside

 

“Oikawa I swear to god you either let me in or I’ll kick this door” silence “I know you are there, I can smell the stench of your moping”

 

Oikawa sat up lazily upon those words. He tried to rearrange his strained locks with no success and pressed his hands against the shirt that he had been wearing for the past 3 days to try and smooth it out.

 

“Oikawa - Get the fuck up! Now!” another voice yelled, richer and definitely darker than the first one. It was then that both voices began chanting his name like a flock of lost little birds. He opened the door already with his smile in place.

 

“Well, look what Tokyo dragged in” He looked at the faces of his two high school friends - that would seem blank for a less accustomed audience - and tried his best to broader his smile. “Makki, Mattsun. Good to see you kids are together again.”

 

Mattsun barged in, pushing both Oikawa and the door to the side, saying sarcastically  _ I’m coming in _ . “Jesus, Oikawa! Your room smell like shit.” he looked around a little and let out a small gasp of relief “Well, at least you are still alive, little buddy” Mattsun crunched down to Spielberg’s cage, putting one finger inside in an attempt to pet the small lizard.

 

Makki stepped inside as well, much more gracefully, and hissed as he took in the overall trash life that Oikawa had been living these past few days. 

“We always knew that the day you and Iwaizumi had a fall-out you would stop functioning, but boy… This is something else. It has been what? Three days? And yet you’ve managed to build yourself a nice trash house” he looked back at his friend grinning “I suppose it’s only fitted… For the trash king” Mattsun snickered, getting up and dusting his pants.

 

“Oh mind your own business, you two. Or my life is just that fascinating that you can help but come all the way to Tokyo just to comment on it?” Oikawa pulled the chair on his desk and sat down, keeping the door open. “Why are you two here anyway? Does the plot needs its supporting cast now?”

 

Makki rolled his eyes and lifted a middle finger at him “No - and by the way you are even more of an asshole right now -.” he pointed at where Mattsun was lifting Spielberg’s cage “Your former husband asked us  _ oh so very nicely  _ that, since Mattsun and I came to Tokyo to run some errands for my father’s store, we would do him the  _ biggest shit favor _  and pick up his pet lizard from where the mother dragon was keeping him.”

 

Mattsun laughed, already on his way out of the room carrying the cage with him “You must have done some big shit this time, Oikawa, because he doesn’t even want to hear your name.” he looked back at Makki, and, waving rather awkwardly with the tip of his fingers from under the cage, he left while saying: “I’ll be in the car, Makki”

 

They waited silently till Mattsun was out of hearing range. Makki took in Oikawa’s appearance, his stained shorts, his disheveled hair, and his bed sheets that covered more of the floor then it did the bed.

 

“So... What did you do?” he said, almost as if releasing a breath

 

Oikawa looked up incredulous

 

“What makes you think that I was the one who did something?” his brows knitted together and a huge pout formed on his thin lips “I’ll have you know that I did absolutely nothing. Iwazumi that found in his head that he needed to be on the same team as Ushijima now.”

 

“I see...” Makki hummed, sitting so carefully on the bed beside Oikawa’s desk as if it was made of glass - and not just piles of dirt and long over due laundry “So you are saying that Iwaizumi got a good job on one of the best Universities for volleyball players, while finally finding something that he is good at and that makes him happy that it’s not directly related to you and just so happens that Ushijima - a guy who did nothing but try to get you on his side - studies there as well.” he noted Oikawa’s furious expression forming on his delicate features “Did I forget something, Oikawa?”

 

“Jeez, Makki. And I thought I was good at twisting shit”

 

“You are, Oikawa” Makki rested his shin on his hand, looking straight at Oikawa by the other side of the desk “You are  _ too good  _ at twisting shit -on that head of yours” he drummed his fingers on the table, contemplating Oikawa’s expression, before getting up and dusting off his pants “Well, I have to go now. You must still have some time left of your summer vacation, right? Try and come back home and makeup with Iwaizumi, ok? He doesn’t really deserve the way you treated him and, as much as he likes to pretend that he is pissed off, Iwaizumi is actually really sad.”

 

Makki passed by him, patting his shoulder lightly, and closed the door.

* * *

 

Kuroo lit up the lights in the room and almost had a heart attack when he saw Oikawa laying in bed. Slowly, he poked his friend awake. When he turned to Kuroo, though, Kuroo felt like his heart was going to fall. Oikawa was a mess. Red and swollen eyes, snot everywhere, the man’s hair looked like a ragged bird nest. Oikawa looked at him and then turned back to the pillow.

“I feel like I should ask how much have you been there but...” he looked around their room “I can see that you still have our uniform on a dirty pile over there.” he kicks Oikawa lightly “also you stink”

“Go away” was the man’s muffled reply.

“Hey, don’t need to tell me twice! Have you smelled the room?” he made a disgusted sound “Spoiler: it smells like a knee protector that has been used for three days in a row.”

“Go away, Tetsuro”

Kuroo sighed and kicked the bed’s legs. “Fine”

He closed the door behind him a fished his phone from his pocket, firing a quick SOS text to Kenma and searching the contact’s list for a certain short-tempered idiot.

The call was picked up on the second ring.

“ _ I was expecting a phone call from Kenma, not you” _  Iwaizumi’s voice sounded pissed off on the end of the line.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Wonder Boy. Wanna tell me why my room smells like ass and my roommate is more useless than Kenma one week after the Sun and Moon release?”

There was a  _ tsc _  then a sigh. For a while, Kuroo thought Iwaizumi was just going to hang up on him.

“ _ If he can take his head out of ass for one minute maybe you can ask him yourself _ ” then he actually hung up.

Kuroo watched the screen on his phone go dark and then let out a breath.  _ These two idiots are going to be the death of me. _

* * *

 

Kenma had somehow managed to get Oikawa out of bed and into a bus to his house. Kuroo was mesmerized, to say the least. They agreed to spend the rest of the summer vacation chilling in Kenma’s house - maybe reach a waterpark if any of them were in the mood to leave the air-conditioned room. Getting there was somewhat the easy part, the tricky thing now was convincing Oikawa that he needed a shower. And maybe a bath.

“Maybe I’ll just drown myself in the tub and everything is going to be alright” Oikawa scoffed, gathering the stuff Kuroo picked back at their place.

“Don’t joke about that, Tooru. Ever” there was a hard pain in Kenma’s eyes. He was standing up, looking directly at Oikawa.

The boy gulped.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take a shower now…” and left, closing the door on his way out.

The room went dead silent, Kenma was shaking a little. Kuroo called his name softly, reaching for his small hand and interlacing their fingers together. With a tug, the Nekoma setter was in between Kuroo’s open legs. Kuroo looked up at him with a very fond expression, caressing the blond hair with his spare hand, only pressing harder Kenma’s fingers in between his own.

“He didn’t mean that. It’s fine, Kenma. It’s alright”

Kenma nodded, resting his face on Kuroo’s hand. They stayed like this for what it felt like forever, Kuroo’s heart betraying him in the silence of the room. Kenma shifted a little, tired of standing up and tried to reach for his DS without letting go of his friend’s hand.

Kuroo laughed at the spazz situation, he knew his face was probably flushed right now but still he tugged Kenma to bed and picked up his DS, giving it to its owner. Kenma held the game with one hand and looked at back Kuroo, biting his lower lip.

Kuroo felt like he was going to die from restrainment - if that was even a thing. He swallowed dry looking down at Kenma. It would be so easy to just move his upper body a little and... _ Yeah, as if he could do that. _

“I need my other hand to play” Kuroo coughed and jolted back, releasing his friend’s hand. He felt a hot flush take over his entire body.

In a sudden movement that made him feel a tad dizzy, Kuroo got up

“Isn’t Oikawa taking too long in there? Jesus, that guy…”

With very unorchestrated movements Kuroo got himself out of the bedroom in search of their friend. Kenma gave a long look at the door left unclosed and sighed, following Kuroo to the bathroom.

They knocked once. Two times. By the third one, they were both worried and Kenma showed how to juggle the doorknob and open the door without unlocking it from inside.  _ That is dangerous. _

Oikawa looked at both of them from the tub.

“What is it, Captain-chan? Eger much to see the Great Oikawa-san on his birthday suit?” there was a grin wild spread on Oikawa’s face.

By the smell of the place, the man had just about used every floral bath salt he could find in Kenma’s bathroom. Surprisingly a good number of different ones. Kenma hummed

“He seems fine enough”

Kuroo glared

“Oikawa, you are a jackass. You could have answered when we knocked, man.”

Oikawa splashed some water in Kuroo’s direction, biting the insides of his cheek.

“Kuroo, you know you are the Chris to my Viktor, right?”

Kuroo patted his now damp clothes with a scowl on his face

“I’m not fishing you out of the tub - nor joining in there, my friend. That’s a completely different cartoon” he pointed at Kenma with his thumb “One that Kenma is more interested in then I am.”

“it is ok” Kenma shrugged.

Oikawa glared at the both of them.

  
“There you go again in your own little world, so mean” he splashed Kuroo one more time, getting a curse and a yell from the boy as payback. “I was just sitting here thinking that you could do me a little favor, you know”

Kuroo glared at him, not really happy to do any favors for Oikawa when he was asked like that. He knew that there came trouble. And he was right. As he listened to Oikawa’s miserable and really weird request, Kuroo cursed the day he’d first called the other boy’s name by the riverside.

“You know what, Oikawa, being your friend is a straight ticket to heaven. Fuck!”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa stretched himself on Kenma’s bed like a cat, the boy had given Oikawa his old DS in an attempt to get him quiet for five seconds as Kenma finished editing the video - the last step in Oikawa’s crazy shit request.

The day before Kuroo had texted a thoughtful  _ I’m sorry, my friend _  to Iwaizumi and had left the rest of the mess for Kenma to deal with by himself. Not that he minded. Learning how to edit videos beat having to wake up early for volleyball practice. He would never admit this out loud, though, or he would risk an all-around attack from both Kuroo and Oikawa. Kenma sighed.

Ever since meeting Oikawa, Kuroo’s obsession with the sport just increased. In a way, Kenma was very relieved Kuroo had someone to share his passion for volleyball and disgustingly sweet cartoons - Kuroo and Oikawa were watching Fruits Basket now. Kenma had walked in on them crying more than once - but, somehow Kenma felt a little jealous. Oikawa could understand Kuroo in a level he never would be able to.

“Are you done yet, pudding-chan?” Oikawa got up, walking towards the computer.

“I told I would say when I was done, Tooru” Kenma really didn’t have  _ that _  much patience, to begin with, but being around Oikawa was a test for anyone.

The man hummed, going through Kenma’s drawers searching for a brush and some hairclips.

“Then entertain me while you are at it, ok? Your games are  _ boring _ . I’ve died like 500 times already” he started to brush the blond’s hair, tugging a little on the knots.

“That’s because you suck at them.”

Oikawa laughed, untangling the boy’s hair with care. For a while he just fussed around Kenma’s hair, even making him stop editing at some point or another to look hairdos on the internet. He ended up choosing a simple half ponytail and clipping some cute hairclips on each side of the boy’s face.

“Ah! You look really cute, Kenma!!” Oikawa beamed, squishing the boy’s face with his hands “You look a little like Yurio-chan! Oh! Try yelling some dirty stuff to me!!”

Kenma glared at him and put his headphones back on, focusing on the video. Oikawa silently snapped a picture and let out a laugh.

“Well, at least you have the  _ glaring  _ part down.”  he hummed content, opening the text app and typing  _ This is a thank you present ～(^з^)-♡  _ and, adding the photo he just took, sent it to Kuroo.

After a while Kenma turned back to him, massaging his pulse.

“I’m done now. Want to see it?”

Oikawa jumped up from the bed, quickly stood by Kenma’s side as he pressed play. The final video was short, a little over one minute, but Oikawa was very happy with the outcome. He looked at the screen with shiny eyes.

“Think he will forgive me?” his voice came a little broken and, when Kenma turned to him, Oikawa was wearing a deep frown.

“If not now, surely later”

Oikawa sighted,  _ later is no good _ . He needed Iwaizumi’s forgiveness like he needed air itself. He sat down again, feeling a little dejected. Kenma rolled the chair next to him and patted his hair slowly.

“People have their own pace, Tooru. You can show remorse and ask for forgiveness, but it’s not up to you to be forgiven.  _ He _  has to forgive you. So give him space. Give him time.” his hands stilled “If you love him, respect his pace.”

Oikawa laughed a little, feeling sorrier for himself then thinking that the situation was funny. He looked down at his lap.

“Is that what you do with Kuroo?”

_ Ah _

Kenma let his hand fall to his side.

“Yes.”

* * *

 

Iwaizumi’s phone chimed late on a Friday night. He cursed himself for leaving the damn thing on when all he wanted was a good night of sleep. But he knew that he could never turn off his phone, no matter how mad he was, when Oikawa could need him answering it.

He had asked his mother to buy his first phone when Oikawa started having night terrors, they were only 12. Ever since Iwaizumi left his phone on at night and woke up to the smallest noise from it. Oikawa long passed his night terror phase, but Iwaizumi still kept the phone on out of genuine habit.

Speaking of the idiot, the text that had just woken Iwaizumi up was indeed from him. Propping himself on his elbows, a little worried, he opened the app just in time for another text to come in.  _ Double texting at this hour?.. _

[ _ Iwa-chan, I know you are mad at me and I know I was selfish but could you please forgive me?] _

It was the first time Oikawa had talked to him ever since their fight almost a week ago. If he would be honest with himself, Iwaizumi had thought that Oikawa was really upset with him this time. Although he had stood his ground and reached for his own dreams, it was also the first time he was actually mean to Oikawa. He had said hurtful things on purpose and he’d broken their promise to always be on the same team. So Iwaizumi understood why Oikawa took his decision as hard as he had. It was hard on him too. 

 

But at the same time, Iwaizumi felt furious. He felt hurt and disappointed. Ever more so because his best friend didn't bother to talk to him after what happened. Oikawa just vanished.  Iwaizumi had asked Makki and Mattsun to grab his lizard with Oikawa also just to have a way to check up on him as well. And from what Makki had told him, Oikawa was shit... And still blaming him for all that happened. That burned a hole of sorrow in his heart. Oikawa felt like he  _cheated. Well,_ Iwaizumi felt like Oikawa cheated too, being too preoccupied with living in his own little world with his own little rules to care less about what other people needed. That's what Iwaizumi had been saying to himself.  _Oikawa needs to learn how to care_. 'And I need my own life' he sighed as he finished reading the first text and opening the second one.  _Sorry_ wasn't gonna cut it this time. Oikawa had been a complete idiot. Iwaizumi wasn't sure if the man wouldn't just repeat himself again in the near future. 

 

Besides... Iwaizumi still felt his heart tremble at the memory of Oikawa's ultra denial of his own choices. The resolution on the other man's eyes. The absolute raw possession that he saw in there... Iwaizumi was his own person. Sharing a life with someone was one thing, but no one never  _belonged_ to anyone else. That was a shit thing to think. Oikawa was shit. 

__

_ [I think you are gonna do so great as an a.coach at Gakudai! It will be so awesome ‘cause I’ll be able to beat your ass on court now too ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧ ] _

Iwaizumi actually laughed at that. His phone vibrated a third time that night and a video popped up on his screen. He waited around for another text to explain the one minute and a half video with a black frame as a thumbnail, but nothing came. So Iwaizumi pressed play.

A cheerful music invaded his room and  _ Oh My gOD was that Oikawa??  _ Iwaizumi coughed, trying to dissipate the full-on flush over his whole body. He juggled with the phone a little, hands shaking, and put it back at the beginning. He felt like he had listened to that cartoonish song back in Oikawa’s dorm. The scene with empty bleachers was empty no more when Oikawa - dressed in small shirt and skirt with Gakudai's colors and wearing a long-haired wig, flowy and colored same as his own hair - jumped on the frame and started dancing with pompons, batons, and the full cheerleading squad crap.

Iwaizumi ran a hand over his face. That damn song was on repeat the whole video while Oikawa danced and shouted: “Go, G! Go, Iwa-chan!”. That had to be the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen in his life. Oikawa got closer to the camera and winked - _  fuck, was he wearing make-up? That’s definitely lipstick! _

_ “Iwa-chan, I’ll always cheer on you. You are my bestest friend and cool rival for now on! So forgive me pleaaase ~”  _  he swung the pompons a little closer to the camera “ _ Oikawa-san loves Iwa-chan, you know, so Iwa-chan should hurry up and forgive him. _ ”

Oikawa gave a little sad smile and the video came to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Oikawa - godforbid - but he is shit and he needs to work for Iwaizumi. 
> 
> Also, no kuroken. lmao sorry  
> I'll include the confession here and let's call it even.


	12. Where we begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say that the best things in life are the ones you have to fight for. It is about time Oikawa starts fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! only two days late.
> 
> also - THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS???? Whaaaat

“What are you doing?”

 

Kuroo almost tripped and fell upon hearing Kenma’s voice behind his back. Scrambling to hide is mistake behind his body, the man turned around with a cheap smile on his face. Kenma narrowed his eyes at his friend, dropping the heavy bag full of books he’d just borrowed from the public library on the kitchen table. He made a move to reach Kuroo just beside the kitchen balcony, noticing how his friend’s eyes went wide as he detached himself from the balcony to stop Kenma midway through, turning him by the shoulders and laughing. 

 

“I was just hungry and aunty wasn’t home,” Kuroo said between his teeth, urging Kenma to keep on moving forward even though the blond was trying to sneak a peek at Kuroo’s work on the balcony - without much success. He wrinkled his nose at him.

  
“Why are you here?”

 

Kuroo froze, looking at the floor for a few seconds before snapping up with a gleeful smile and pushing Kenma towards his bedroom.

 

“I was in a mood to play some Racing games! Let’s play Need for Speed, okay? You’ve been studying so hard this past week you deserve it, right?” 

 

Kenma studied his friend’s face suspiciously. Kuroo still had a few days to his summer break, but Kenma was back at school full force with University entrance exams coming up and everything. As a senior, Kenma wasn’t invested in the volleyball team anymore - all of them have already started their practice. He  _ had  _ been studying hard. He had to if he wanted to get in Tokyo U. as well. Kenma sighed, detaching himself from his friend and walking in front of him, already intent on starting the game. 

 

Kuroo gave a quick look back to where his failed attempt at heart-shaped cookies rested on the kitchen balcony. He had been trying to find a way to confess for  _ days  _ now and nothing ever went as predicted. He had tried to beat Kenma’s score on one of his favorite games and spell a cheap confession on the header, but that idea sunk very quickly as Kuroo discovered he actually sucked at that kind of video game. He had tried to show him cute and romantic music videos in an attempt that his friend  _ just fucking get it _ , but that simply annoyed Kenma to no end. He even made a shaky comment - at about the 4th time he made Kenma watch Yuri on ice - about how it was nice that Otabek and Yurio could go from friends to lovers next season, only to have Kenma snort out a clear ‘Yurio is a brat’. 

 

Fishing out his phone, Kuroo typed a sad ‘That went really bad’ to Oikawa, attaching a photo of one of the cookies in which he attempted to write the letter ‘L’ and just came out looking like a really sad dick. His shoulders hanged heavily as he crossed the door to Kenma’s bedroom and picked up a controller.

* * *

 

Oikawa felt his phone vibrate as he jumped out of the train station. The coldish air of his hometown breezed through his hair, as if welcoming him back. He adjusted his backpack as he grabbed for his phone a little too enthusiastically. It had been two days since he had sent that humiliating yet very honest video to Iwaizumi and still no answer. Not  _ one  _ small little text saying ‘hey u look good on a skirt and I’ll love you forever, let’s kiss and makeup’. Oikawa sighed. To be fair, he had gotten a text just like that - but from Kuroo, that shit head.

He opened the text app trying not to get his hopes up and let out a laugh upon seeing the attached picture. Kuroo was in a shit predictment, but Oikawa felt no sorrow for his friend.  _ He deserves it _ . He texted back a short ‘I fell sorry for pudding-chan’ and made his way to the bus station.

As he watched the scenery change, the familiar feeling of nostalgia came with a bitter tone. He hit both his cheeks lightly, trying to break out the trance of overwhelming sadness and regret he was falling in every now and then since his fall out with Iwaizumi. Oikawa came to his hometown with a resolution - he would get Iwaizumi to forgive him! There was no time to feel down. 

Walking down the old street, Oikawa didn’t bother to drop his bag at his own house, making a run to Iwaizumi’s doorstep. After a while of loud and incessant knocking, his flushed face was greeted by his friend’s surprised mom. 

“Tooru-chan! Well… Welcome home!” She looked suspiciously behind her and then turned back to him, smiling. “are you here to see Hajime?”

Oikawa couldn’t get the words out, his heart beat made his whole body shake with anxiety, so he just nodded, cleaning a drop of sweat that hang from his chin with the back of his hand. Misses Iwaizumi’s smile grew softer. 

“I’m sorry. He isn’t here right now, Tooru-chan. He left with your old teammates.” she cocked her head to the side “I gather you guys are not doing well? That’s so sad.” Oikawa looked at his feet, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him “But I’m sure it’s fixable.” she patted his shoulders reassuringly “The both of you have been inseparable since you were children, I don’t see how you can go different ways now”

Oikawa gulped down some air and nodded again. “Thank you, auntie. Please tell him that I stopped by” he made sure his best smile was in place as he waved her goodbye and made his way into his own place. 

  
  
  


By the time the night came Oikawa had tried calling Iwaizumi two times - only for the call to go to the voicemail - and went to his house another three. He was restless and pissed. Not being able to just sit around, he grabbed his wallet and dashed out of the house, leaving everything else behind. 

Not ten minutes later he was ravishing the doorbell at Hanamaki father’s shop. Makki appeared from behind set of blue curtains, wearing an apron and looking very much annoyed only to take one look at the despaired flushed expression on Oikawa’s features and let out a breath. 

“You actually came,” he said, while already untying his apron from behind his back. He turned his face to the back of the shop “Dad” he yelled “I’m going out for a bit”

After a grunt of acknowledgment, Makki shoved a frantic Oikawa out of his father’s shop. Disentangling himself from his friend’s arms, Oikawa took both of Makki’s shoulders. Makki could see how his jaw was locked in place and how his own shoulder was lifted up in restrain and tenseness. 

“Makki, where is he? I can’t find him, he won’t answer me” Oikawa’s brows shot up, his beautiful eyes were overflowing with an eager sadness. Makki batted Oikawa’s hands away and led him by the arm elsewhere

“Why don’t we take a walk?”

“No walking!” Oikawa yelled, still letting himself be led anyway “Just… Help me! I don’t know what to do!”

“Calm the fuck down, Oikawa. You live right beside him, you will find him eventually.” Makki sighed, stopping by a vending machine e fishing some money to grab them both a drink

Oikawa pressed both hands against his face and let out a muffled whine. 

“I said I was sorry. He…” he ranked a hand through his hair “he won’t forgive me, Makki.”

Oikawa crouched down, hugging his legs and resting his forehead on his knees. His breaths were coming in shorter and shorter pants. 

“I don’t know what I…” he looked up at the redhaired man in front of him, who now had crouched down as well and was kindly offering him a warm drink, Oikawa’s eyes were shiny with tears “Makki, all I wanted was for him to be by my side.”

“He is. He is just following his own path” Makki rested his chin on his knee, raising a hand to touch Oikawa’s arm. “That doesn’t mean you can’t be together, you know… It’ll just be different.”

“I don’t want ‘different’!” Oikawa shouted, falling on his ass on the floor. His palms supported him on the concrete street as the tears that flew freely on his face made his body shake with one sob after the other. “I want  _ my  _ Iwa-chan, same as always! I love him, Makki!” the tears in Oikawa’s eyes grew larger and fell heavier than before, making the man gulp for air “I love him so much”

“Then put him before yourself, Oikawa”

Oikawa scrambled to get himself up, still crying with fervor. The tiredness, stress and overall desperation from the past few days all coming to hit him full force. Makki kept a comforting hand on his arm the whole time the other man tried to recompose himself.  

They exchanged a few words and Oikawa grabbed the now mostly cold drink that Makki had offered, accepting his advice as well to walk around and cool off before heading home again. Hanamaki’s words kept flooding his mind as his feet seemed to make circles around the town, avoiding the sad destination of the certainty of Iwaizumi not being home again, of Oikawa being too late. 

The starry sky guided him through the narrow street blocks, the lamps of their old and small town appeared to flicker upon the night. Oikawa sighed, his lower back hurting and his shoulders stiff. Crossing the corner store in the direction of his house a loud gasp caught his attention, making him turn around. 

“I don’t even know why I’m surprised.” the petite feminine figure was almost unseeable for the amount of stuff she was carrying on her arms. 

Oikawa reached for one of the bags, unrevealing her face. He couldn’t help the tone of astonishment in his voice “Manager-chan!”

Kiyoko eyed him with cautious, fixing the glasses that were about to fall from her face, she took the bag that Oikawa had just picked up for her. Oikawa looked around suspiciously, trying to ignore the pain ever growing in his heart.

“He is not with me, Oikawa-san. We broke up, as you must know.” she sighed, making an effort to arrange the bags on her hands and keep on walking, without much success.

“Oh, I know” he crossed his arms, standing right in front of her “He just changed, that’s all”

Kiyoko’s eyebrows knitted together - Oikawa could swear he saw her left eye twitch.

“Yes. Gratefully, he changed. I have yet to offer him my congratulations for the job at Gakudai” she tried to move past him, arm trembling from the weight of the bags. Oikawa let out a breath and ranked a hand through his hair

“Oh, for fucks sake” he fished out most of Kiyoko’s bags and showed her his most gallant smile. “Show the way, Manager-chan”

She eyed him skeptically, but still stepped in front of him. They walked silently for what felt like a long five minutes before she opened her mouth again and mostly muttered “I hope you work hard for him this time, Oikawa”

Oikawa almost tripped over his feet, mouth agape. “What?”

“I mean that he gave up so much for you” there was a sightly tint of red on her cheeks as she shifted her face away from the man “For him, you were always first. But for you... You seem to fly on your own”

Oikawa furrowed his brows, feeling his chest constrict and his heart ache, he took in a  gulp of air. “You don’t know what you are talking about. Iwa-chan and I were always a team”

Kiyoko stopped, looking back at him “You were only a team while things were going your way. Why do you think it took him so long to tell you he got that job?”

“That’s not fair, Miss Manager!” his voice pitched louder and Oikawa balled his hands into fists “You know nothing about Iwa-chan and me”

“ _ Oh  _ and you do? You don’t even know where he is right now” she cocked her head to the side, offering her hand to him “We are here now, thank you for your help” she wiggled her fingers as if asking for her bags back.

Oikawa looked across the street to where a tall University building contrasted lightly against the dark sky. It was one of the Junior Colleges in their hometown. Then… Then he looked back at her. She was really beautiful, really smart too - it seemed - he knew all guys considered themselves lucky if they even managed to talk to her.  _ Kiyoko _ … 

Watching her small figure contrasting with the hugeness of the building behind them made Oikawa wonder... Made him think that this could be easily Iwaizumi’s life. It could have been if he had reached for it. Iwaizumi could have gone to that same Jr. College, Iwaizumi could be walking with Kiyoko, and buying groceries and watching movies and... Oikawa gave the bags back to Kiyoko, stunned by his own mind. His eyes caught hers in the exchange. Iwaizumi had chosen him, right? Oikawa. He had chosen Oikawa.

Oikawa had to choose Iwaizumi too. 

He wanted to, more than anything, choose Iwaizumi over and over and for as long as he could, he would always and forever choose Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa grabbed Kiyoko by the shoulders “Where is he?”

Kiyoko sighed, her eyes gaining a softness that Oikawa hadn’t seen before. 

“The high school began their training regiments again… I suppose he is on the court.” She smiled “Wouldn’t you be there too?”

“Yes! Yes, Kiyoko-chan!” Oikawa let out a high pitched scream, his eyes glistening as if they had stolen the shine from the stars themselves. “Thank you!” he shouted, already running towards the other end of the street.

  
  


Oikawa felt the wind cold brushing over his face. He ran. He ran till his thighs were stiff and warm. He ran till his breaths were mingling with the passing wind and becoming nothing at all. As his legs moved, Oikawa’s mind dazed over all things  _ Iwaizumi _ . All of their memories. All the times Iwaizumi had been there for him. His mouth kept on muttering small short ‘i love you’s, his heart racing more for excitement than tiredness. His soul didn’t fit his body anymore - he wanted to overflow. 

Of course - why - why had it taken this long? They could have had so much more. Oikawa loved him. He loved him so much. He wanted to touch his arms, to kiss his lips, to devour Iwaizumi’s entire being and for him to have Oikawa anyway he wanted. Again. And again. And again. Because Oikawa was already his to have.

“Iwa-chan!”

Seijou’s gymnasium doors squeaked open as Iwaizumi, sweaty and surprised, jolted back upon hearing his name being called. The dark court was lit but for one single reflector. Iwaizumi was by himself, muscles aching, white shorts clinging on his tights. Somewhere on the other side of the room a ball dropped flat on the floor. Iwaizumi still had his hand up mid-air. 

“Oikawa?”

Oikawa stumbled on the inside of the room. His body almost not being able to restrain himself. His heart certain that it wanted to carve its way out of Oikawa’s body. So the man held a hand over his chest, taking in Iwaizumi’s presence. Breathing. 

“Aren’t you a hard man to find, Iwa-chan”

He took one step forward. Or Iwaizumi did. None of them were sure, but seconds later Oikawa’s hands were on Iwaizumi’s old Seijou shirt. He stared at the desperate confused eyes of his best friend. Oikawa wanted to say so much. He had so much to say that nothing came out. So Iwaizumi broke the silence for him

“I almost didn’t recognize you. You know... Without a skirt and the long hair”

Oikawa snorted, balling his hands furthermore on Iwaizumi’s shirt. 

“So you actually watched that uh? I figured it went straight to the spam box since I got no shit for an answer - Ah!” Oikawa’s brows shot up -  _ no _ !, he scowled himself,  _ not that, you dummy! _

“Yeah… Sorry”

“No, Iwa-chan. No!  _ I  _ am the one who is sorry.  _ I’m sorry, Iwa-chan _ ” he spat out, almost unable to contain himself. Oikawa took yet another step forward, his nose almost touching Iwaizumi’s. “I’m so sorry, Hajime. I’m so sorry. I’ve been so stupid and you’ve been…” he sighed, letting his forehead rest against his best friend’s and just breathing in, trying to calm down his beating heart, finding a ground in Iwaizumi’s heat and heart beat. “I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me, I’ll understand if you don’t want to live together in Tokyo any longer. I’ll… It will hurt so much” he gulped, sprawling his hand on Iwaizumi’s chest, feeling it rise and fall with the other man’s breathing. "But I get that I've hurt you more."

Iwaizumi held his open hand with his own, guarding it in a warm embrace. “Oikawa..”

Oikawa held his head up, crease deepening between his brows as he looked at the face of the man he loved, as he understood, for the first time very clearly, that he would give that man everything as long as he could keep on being able to feel Iwaizumi’s heart beat against his. So, Oikawa smiled. An honest, sad, smile, and shook his head.

“You know, Iwa-chan, I’ve always felt like there’s no way I could live without you. That there’s ending or beginning with us, there’s no place where I end and  _ we _ begin. Wasn’t I selfish, Iwa-chan?” he choked on his words, trying to keep the words flowing without the tears getting in the way. “Wasn’t I so selfish as to want you so much that I stole even you from yourself? And yet, Iwa-chan always gave even more. And I was so greedy… I was so.. Greedy.” 

His fingers fidgeted before reaching for the hem of Iwaizumi’s shirt. Oikawa’s voice trembled a little, coming more and more in shorter breaths of air “I wanted you to came to Tokyo with me, I wanted you to play with me, to eat with me, to wake up by my side… I was always so selfish. So selfish, so greedy, I forgot that Iwa-chan wasn’t mine to have.” 

Oikawa lifted his head up, his brown eyes were glistening and brows were deeply kneaded together. Iwaizumi opened his mouth and reached forward his friend’s shoulder with his right hand, but Oikawa stopped him mid-motion, squeezing the sides of his arms tightly and letting out what it sounded like a mixture of a strangled breath and a whimper. 

“When I realized what an awful person I’ve been to you, that I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve this feeling, that I...But you still. Iwa-chan, you…” 

  
  
  
  


Iwaizumi’s knees locked in place and his lungs stopped working, he felt the tip of his fingers tremble slightly. Oikawa’s hand still held his sides firmly, as if keeping Iwaizumi up, as if leaning in for support himself. Neither could be sure.  

Oikawa’s words were getting muffled under the sound of Iwaizumi’s own heart beat. He felt his friend’s grip on him tight even more and, as if jolted back to reality, Iwaizumi stepped forward.  He took Oikawa in his arms, holding him tightly as his best friend let out little whimpers and sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AM NOT CRYING YOU ARE CRYING
> 
> *plays Just Ask on repeat*


	13. You didn’t stay to say hi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi and Oikawa find peace in each other, then it's time for Oikawa to bring terror to other people's lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey long time no see  
> please accept this 8k word chapter with my sorry ass

Iwaizumi opened his eyes suddenly, jolted awake by his heart attempting to break out of his ribcage. Taking a steady breath, he lifted his hand to his face, making an effort to focus on it, to came back to reality. A slow murmur beside him caught his attention as his eyes automatically shifted to follow the noise. Oikawa’s sleeping face inched closer to him in the already small bed. Iwaizumi gulped. He felt his heart race even more and a warm feeling spread all over his body, tickling the tips of his toes. Iwaizumi shivered, closing his eyes ever so briefly and being flooded all over again from the images of the night before.

 

Yesterday Oikawa had showed up unannounced while he was practicing. Iwaizumi could still feel how his friend shook and shivered as he wrapped his arms around him. Iwaizumi could still hear the sobs and the muted ‘i love you’s Oikawa would murmur in between his ever falling tears. They had both stayed still for longer than either could have perceived. It was really late by the time they walked home - hand in hand - and wordlessly went straight to Iwaizumi’s house. It was one of those nights, after all, just like their biggest losses and ultimate accomplishments. A night when neither wanted to let go of the other. 

 

_ “Wanna take a bath together?”  _

 

_ Oikawa turned to him, eyes swollen and red. They had quietly removed their coats, dropping them atop Iwaizumi’s desk. Iwaizumi had to take a shower since he was training for such a long time, but it felt just… weird to let Oikawa out of his sight right now. They had never had such a bad fight and both men still felt the lingering separation between them. Iwaizumi wanted that desperate and lonely feeling to disappear. He wanted Oikawa close at all times.  _

 

_ “I asked if you wanted to take a.. bath together…” Iwaizumi scratched his cheek and looked sideways, feeling shy all of the sudden. It was just Oikawa, right? They have been best friends since childhood. They have taken countless baths together in the past. Oikawa said ‘i love you’ because he was really sorry, right? Iwaizumi believed that. He believed Oikawa regretted shutting Iwaizumi out like that, saying the hurtful things he ’d said. Iwaizumi could feel Oikawa’s sorrow. And even before all the ‘i love you’s or the sobbing - although with Oikawa that was kind of a constant thing - and everything else, right on the moment Oikawa opened the gymnasium doors and they locked eyes, right then and there, Iwaizumi forgave him.  _

 

_ “Ah” Oikawa looked to the side as well, saying something in such a low tone, brows furred, that Iwaizumi couldn’t hear. Then he let out a huge sigh, turning back to Iwaizumi, head cooked to the side and an ever sweet smile - though a true one - plastered on his face. “We might as well, Iwa-chan! Save water and all that trouble!” he walked over to Iwaizumi with large steps, coercing the other man to move with his hands “C’mon now! I’ll wash your dirty back! Your muscles must be all sore!” _

 

_ As soon as they stepped into the bathroom, Oikawa shoved his hands under Iwaizumi’s shirt, on his back, the rough fingers spread over the muscles as he shifted upwards the fabric of the jersey. Iwaizumi shivered. _

_ “What the fuck are you doing, TrashKawa?” Iwaizumi lifted his eyes to meet Oikawa’s on the mirror, his shoulders jolted and shrunk at the unguarded expression his friend was carrying. Oikawa’s eyes were raw. Seeming to take notice of that, the other man let out a shaky laugh, taking his hands out of his friend’s back and lifting them up _

_ “Here, here! you can take mine off too!”  _

_ “Take them off yourself!” Iwaizumi grunted, fighting off a blush as Oikawa laughed, and went over to prepare their shared bath.  _

_ Once they were in it, water splashing everywhere and a warm steam gracing their worn-out bodies, Oikawa just rested his back against his side of the tub, both knees locked together like a child, and his head resting on his closed fist. He kept staring at Iwaizumi with that same focused look as he had in the mirror, sending jolts to Iwaizumi’s spine. They sat silently, soaking in the warm water. Iwaizumi kept his brows furrowed, on a careful watch of his best friend’s features. Oikawa just looked at him like if seeing him for the first time. Some time or another the fingers of his right hand would twitch and Iwaizumi would shift his eyes to it ever so briefly. Their breathing felt heavy in the humid room.  _

_ Iwaizumi wanted to touch him. _

Ranking a hand through his hair, Iwaizumi sat up, trying to dismiss the lingering feelings of the raw need to just  _ touch _ . He concluded that seeing Oikawa naked after so much time must have triggered something weird inside his brain and it just decided that it was a good idea to simulate what would have been like to actually have touched Oikawa on that tub. The feeling of Oikawa’s smooth skin still tickled his fingers, like if he really had touched it. It was that trash king’s fault anyway. He was the one who had his hands all up on Iwaizumi’s back last night before the bath.

Iwaizumi’s heart was still beating insanity fast and the desire to touch Oikawa was still present, almost making his hands move on their own. His friend was so close, so warm. It would be so easy to sneak his hands under Oikawa’s shirt and feel the hard curve of his abs. Feeling his groin steer, Iwaizumi blushed all the way to his neck. He whispered a soft  _ Fuck  _ and got out of bed as quietly as possible, trying not to disturb his sleeping friend. 

As soon as Iwaizumi closed the door behind him, Oikawa opened his eyes and let out a sigh. 

 

* * *

 

 

Kuroo let out a breath. He hadn’t heard from Oikawa for almost a day now. That in ‘Oikawa time’ was a shit load of time, so he assumed that his friend had been successful on his pursuit of Wonder Boy - well, successful enough as to leave Kuroo to feed his own anxiety by himself. He nervously tossed a ball up, cleaning the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand before jumping and hitting the ball right on its center. 

The ball rolled mid-air as if it were a soccer ball dancing on the field instead of a volleyball up in the sky. It landed disastrously on the floor few meters away from Kuroo. 

“Kuroo” a low voice gripped his spine and made the man turn around abruptly, almost losing his footing once he saw t Kenma standing up by the bleachers. “Inuoka told me you were here.” Kuroo looked down to the floor, trying to avert his eyes from Kenma’s stare “He also told me to came and drag you out because you have that - quote - scary look on your face”

Kenma tilted his head to the side, analyzing his best friend’s sloppy form and overall put down demeanor. He took a step forward, noticing how Kuroo seemed to flinch at that. “Why are you at Nekoma? Couldn’t you have practiced at your university? You are keeping our players from practicing.”

Kuroo laughed more to himself than out loud. He gave his back to Kenma and started pícking up the tossed balls, gathering them in their appropriated space. “Ah. We still have a few days left in summer vk. My court is closed.” 

He passed by Kenma only patting slightly his shoulder and bent down to pick up his bag. Kenma frowned. 

“Are you going home?”

“Ah” he waved a hand without looking back at his friend and left the court. Kenma kept a hard stare at the where Kuroo disappeared. 

“What’s up with him?!” Inuoka left the place he was hiding very quietly, coming to stay by Kenma’s side. The blond just shook his head, an angry expression crossing this delicate features, then he turned to the newcomer.

“I’ve done what you asked me, now you do what you promised you would.” Kenma narrowed his eyes at the taller boy who just shook with suppressed laughter. 

  
  
  
  


Kuroo almost knocked his door over in an attempt to open it. Feeling his nerves even more on edge than usual, he preferred to go back to his dorm instead of going back to his house. This close to the end of the summer vacations, the dorms were already open again for the early birds and Kuroo dreaded the prospect of being in Kenma’s neighborhood. So close to him and yet completely unable to utter a single word.  He was afraid that if he tried to speak to his best friend he would just say a shit ton of mushy things - and cry on his knees.  _ Oh God Kenma would hate that, Kenma would hate him _ . 

He messed up his bird nest of a hair, breathing in and out to get his drumming heart under control, and sat down on his bed, fishing out his phone from his pockets in an attempt to review the list of ‘confessing ideas’. Kuroo sighed. He had already tried - and failed miserably - if not all, most of them. A crippling fear of rejection always made him shut his mouth or deviate Kenma from one of his more elaborated ideas. So he decided to get his shit together and take some time to review his own death wish - thus creating a distance between him and his best friend that only served to worsen his predicament. Kenma was now  _ actually visibly  _ pissed at him.

“Oh, the best-laid plans” he blew a strand of hair that was poking at his nose and shifted his attention to the message notification that appeared on his screen.

[ _ Kuroo-san! I heard you were in Nekoma today! You didn’t stay to say hi because Kenma-san and Inuoka are dating now? Please pay them no mind and say hi next time!] _

Kuroo felt his spine grow stiff as he straightened up so fast that something on his body made a cracking sound. He frowned at Lev’s name shining on top of the message. He tapped on the caller id so hard it cracked his phone screen a little.

“ _ Kuroo-san! I’m so glad you decided to call instead of just texting me! I feel like this is an improvement in our relationship!” _

_ “ _ What? Have you lost your mind?” Kuroo barked out, feeling the rest of the control he was trying to keep for himself set loose completely “Why would you say that Kenma and Inuoka are dating?!”

“ _ Ah? You mean they are not?” _

“Lev! Get your brain together!  _ You _ said they were dating! Why would you say that?!” Kuroo felt rather than heard the desperation slipping into his voice. Feeling his chest constricting, he mentally chastised himself from forgetting how to breathe. 

_ “I mean I just saw them leaving together? Inuoka even missed practice. The coach is pissed - Ah!” _ Kuroo heard some rumbling noises on the other side of the line  _ “Sorry, Kuroo-san! I have to go! Practice is starting now, nice to talk to you!” _

The dial tone on the phone was like a maestro of Kuroo’s own heartbeat. He let the hung up sound fill his soul a while before the pressed the ‘close’ button. Looking down at his trembling hands more thoughts than Kuroo could even make sense of swam on his head.  _ Had he lost his chance with Kenma? No. Lev was just being Lev, right?  _

Right?

* * *

 

“Ehhhh What was that, my mother just gave her precious son away so easily. What an ungrateful woman!”

Oikawa pouted. They were heading down the familiar street, carrying their belongings to the train station. 

“And what was that whole  _ I feel better now that I know you are gonna be by his side _ thing!!! I know how to take care of myself, mom, Jesus!”

Oikawa was a ranting machine that night but, somehow, Iwaizumi was unaffected. He watched the houses on their old neighborhood pass by like saluting old friends

“...And she couldn’t care less about marrying me off to you because she would rather have  _ Hajime-kun  _ for a son anyway.” 

Iwaizumi turned to him. 

_ What.  _

Oikawa blew a hair away from his face, going uninterrupted by his friend’s small heart attack right by his side. 

“She already has my nephew to continue the family line, you know. So this is all sunshine and good business for her and-”

“Oikawa, whatdahell! We are not getting married??!” Iwaizumi made a face at him and kicked him in his knees.

“Oh my god, Iwa-chan! You don’t want to make me a respectable man!” he gasped in mock horror “You just wanna use me and throw me in the trash!!”

Iwaizumi looked ahead again, a lazy smile dangling from his lips, his cheeks still a little flushed.

“Well… It’s where you belong anyway”

“WHAT?! MEAN!! MEAN, Iwa-chan!!”

Iwaizumi laughed. Oikawa pouted. They continued to walk forward together. 

* * *

 

The sun wasn’t gracing the sky for too long before Oikawa came crossing the dorm’s hall and basically kicking open the door to his and Kuroo’s room, complaining very loudly that he _just needed his beauty sleep so much, Iwa-chan_. They had gotten the last train to Tokyo and got in as early as 6 am, carrying more boxes than it would be advisable. Iwaizumi only _tscked_ at Oikawa’s nagging. The bastard had actually slept through the whole trip - even going as far as to drool on Iwaizumi’s - now gross and sore - shoulder. 

“Uh” Oikawa stopped on his feet, dropping his bags and giving a side look glace at Iwaizumi, much more full of thought that Iwaizumi’s ever thought he would be able to. “Why is Captain-chan here?”

Iwaizumi followed Oikawa’s pointed finger to Kuroo’s sleeping form. He looked like he was having a nightmare. Oikawa slowly walked up to him, poking his cheek until the former Nekoma captain grunted and tossed around on his bed.  

“Captain-chan ~ Wakey, wakey!” Kuroo opened one of his eyelids slowly and then proceeded to close it again with fervor. 

“Oh my god! You are the last thing I need right now” Kuroo said, his voice muffled a little by the sheet he‘d just pulled over his face.

“Well, that’s flattering. I’ll have you know that I’m not so happy myself to have you here, you know.” Oikawa gestured to himself as if to give his words more emphasis “I was planning on jumping Iwa-chan as soon as we had a bed for ourselves”

Iwaizumi let out a low grumble and murmured  _ Excuse me? _

“Well, good for you trash king. Now go away.”

Oikawa sat down on Kuroo’s bed with a ‘plop’ “Are you moping, Captain-chan? It sure feels like you are moping.” he laid a careful hand on Kuroo’s sleeping form “Did pudding head ditched you or something?”

“Or something” Kuroo answered, turning his back to his friend. 

Oikawa jolted his hand back, actually feeling a little surprised at that. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Did you actually confess or you are just-”

“He is going out with Inuoka, Oikawa. Now leave me alone”

Oikawa frowned, getting up. “Well, that doesn’t seem like the true story here, what do you think, Iwa-chan?”

“Don’t get me into this”

“See, Iwa-chan thinks so too.” he smiled sharply at his best friend “Have you guys talked?” Kuroo grunted, making himself into a ball under the covers “C’mon, Captain-chan. That is so out of character for you. Go and talk to him and let that whoever side character know that you are Kenma’s man”

“Aren’t you romantic?”

“Oh, shut up, Iwa-chan”

  
Iwaizumi took a step back. Did... _ Did their roles just reverse? _

Kuroo didn’t actually need much encouragement to do an old fashion  _ stalking session.  _ By the time Nekoma’s bell rang he was already standing on the outside of the school - back resting against the wall like a cool guy and shit. He took in a breath, putting one of his hands on his chest in an imaginary effort to make his heart calm  _ the fuck  _ down.  He knew for sure that his old volleyball team didn’t have practice today - so he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“Kuroo-san!” Kuroo felt like he was jolted awake by someone yelling his name - ok maybe, just maaaaybe, he had fallen asleep. Lev rushed to his side, still waving a hand. “Oh, ~ is so nice to see you here. Did you come to see Nekoma’s ace?!” he pointed a finger at himself. Kuroo’s eyelids dropped. 

“Where’s Kenma?”

“Uh? What do you mean? He didn’t have the last period.” Lev looked around for a while, then thoughtfully scratched the back of his silver hair. “Come to think of it ~ I guess he and Inuoka-kun left together?”

Kuroo straight up in seconds “Are you kidding me, Lev? Are you ACTUALLY kidding me?”

“What? no?” Lev crossed his arms and smiled at his former captain “Well, you were so sure that Kenma-san and Inuoka aren’t dating. Maybe you were wrong uh?”

Kuroo ranked a hand through his hair, making it an even bigger mess. 

“You know what? I’ll find Kenma myself, thank you.”

Lev laughed as Kuroo ran his way to the library he knew Kenma was going to those past months, not disappearing of sight before he heard Lev yelling “Kuroo-san!! Fight!”

_ His fucking kouhais. _

_  
  
_

Kuroo was out of breath when he reached the library. After all but crawling his way up the stairs he tried to describe Kenma to the person in charge. It was a very young woman, who smiled at him fondly. 

  
“Ah, Kenma-kun. He just left.” Kuroo frowned at her and, seeming to perceive the other’s uneasiness, the young woman waved a dismissive hand at him. “He is here every day. And with that hair is hard to lose him.”

The man muttered low cursed words and left in a hurry.  _ If not the library than maybe his home? _ Kuroo ran more than his legs could muster, not patient enough to sit and wait for a bus. He ran and ran till about where he would make a turn to his and Kenma’s house direction. Over there he stopped like if he had just being electricized. 

There was a simple bakery on the corner. Small enough to only have tables on the sidewalk. Both he and Kenma had been there countless times for after practice snacks or when they just didn’t want to go home yet. They wanted more of the other’s presence. Over there, sitting across from Kenma’s ever annoyed face, was Inuoka - eating a  _ fucking  _ Yakisoba bread. 

Kuroo slowed dry. Slowly. Very. Slowly. He tracked back and made his way to his dorm room.  _ Maybe he did lose his chance with Kenma. _

_ If there was ever one.  _

* * *

 

Oikawa was  _ bored. _ Iwaizumi had just left to enroll himself or something on his Junior College and then  _ something  _ with Gakudai’s players? Oikawa wasn’t sure. He was still pretty much tuning out anything  _ Gakudai _ . He had accepted that Iwaizumi and he would be rivals now - yes, but getting up to swallow the  _ whole idea _ … Well, he wasn’t there just yet. Oikawa needed more time. Lucky for him he had something to fill his restless mind while Iwaizumi was too busy with the whole  _ having a life for himself thing  _ and Oikawa’s classes and practice weren’t going to start in a few days. 

Actually, Oikawa had  _ two _ things to occupy his mind. One of them he could easily relate to the other: making sure Kuroo and Kenma finally - oh god - got together and finding Iwaizumi a nice place to live, since Junior Colleges had no such thing as dorms. Oikawa smiled.  _ Oh yes, this would do just fine.  _

He had always been a person who planned his things and, as such, even before he even made the trip back to his hometown, right by the time Oikawa  _ thought  _ of dancing in drag to humor his best friend into forgiving him, Oikawa had already gotten his hands on apartment listings.  But with this thing with Kuroo and Kenma, well, Oikawa might as well kill two birds with one stone. 

__  
  
  
  


It took a lot of begging and a healthy dose of manipulation to get both Kenma and Kuroo into ‘helping’ him with Iwaizumi’s apartment. The grumpiness was to be expected from Nekoma’s former captain since he’d been in a foul mood ever since Oikawa came back to Tokyo, but to have to fight for Kenma’s help wasn’t something Oikawa was counting on. The blond kid was even more bitter than usual, clearly upset with the prospect of spending the whole day going through cramped apartment after cramped apartment with his best friend. Oikawa got a full face of Kenma’s disgusted expression - oh god he hated the way Kenma would look when he scrunched up his nose like that - when he shared all the folders with the listings he had previously separated. 

Standing up by the entrance of his dorm, with absolutely no intentions of coming in, Kenma just stuffed the pile of papers on his book bag - already seeming heavy with actual books - and gave Oikawa and assessing look. 

“You are up to something”

“Of course not!” Oikawa made the best innocent face he could muster - meaning, a clearly fake one. Kenma’s disgusted expression just turned sourer as he took in Tooru’s fake reaction. He sighed, almost slumping with the weight of his pack. Oikawa cocked his head to the side, brows shooting up

“You know he is pissed at something, right?” Kenma tried to level his eyes at his friend, clearly not expecting an answer but still getting one as Tooru’s smile became softer and much more real. 

“Yeah. When he isn’t pissed at something tho” a light chuckle shook the man’s shoulders and he offered Kenma a light and reassuring pat on the back “You go now, Pudding head-chan. With any luck, we should have Iwaizumi moving in by tomorrow - or he might as well have to sleep on the streets” 

With a loud and clearly fake laughter, Tooru closed the door on his face. The sign carrying his and Kuroo’s name shook lightly with the movement. Kenma narrowed his eyes at his best friend name, curling his hand around the bag’s shoulder strap. He knew that just calling Kuroo would get him nowhere - he had actually tried yesterday after coming home from another study session with Inuoka, but the phone only rang and rang till he reached the voicemail - so he marched to Kuroo’s house. 

A light knock on the door was soon answered by the man himself. Already in full attire and bag slung across his torso. He didn't look at Kenma, simply passed him and closed the door. The only sign the acknowledge the other’s presence was that he stopped by the small gates to wait for Kenma to catch up - Which he did, not bothering to hide his increasingly suspicious stare at the other man. Tooru had talked to both of them, so Kenma didn’t find strange that Kuroo was already expecting him, but it still felt like a bug was crawling under his skin at the shit treatment he was receiving from the man whom he’d shared his whole life with.

They walked silently to the renting office. 

 

* * *

 

 

“You did what?”

Iwaizumi sucked on the straw, trying not as much to finish his drink as to take his mind away of how very  _ aware  _ he was of Oikawa’s shoulder brushing against his and the underlying scent of his soap that coated both men. 

“I gave them the extra listings” Oikawa absentmindedly played with the straw with his tongue. Iwaizumi felt like his heart was going to fail him right then and there. He might have clutched his cup a little more than necessary because the pink liquid of his strawberry milkshake started to leak from the newly acquired crack on its container. 

“But why would you do that? Didn’t you say you had the perfect place already?”  _ Weren’t they going there right about now?  _

Iwaizumi would have protested on Oikawa picking his apartment without so much as a ‘Hey is this ok’ at him, but Iwaizumi had shrugged it off, it didn’t particularly matter anyway, as long as it was cheap and livable. And he felt like Oikawa could use this little bit of satisfaction to help placate things between their friendship and the  _ whole Gakudai thing _ . Oikawa had been more open to it, but Iwaizumi knew that he wasn’t fully on board just yet.

“Oh, silly Iwa-chan! Of course, I have the perfect place! Kuroken is just trying to do their own thing and I am being a  _ very nice  _ person and helping them out.” Oikawa gestured to himself in such a dramatic way that he almost dropped his milkshake.

“Did you just call them by one name?”

“Well, yeah - see, they are an  _ item _ .” Oikawa put a lot of emphasis on the last word, sticking his tongue out and winking, feeling very proud of himself. Iwaizumi groaned.  _ Oh God, his best friend was fucking stupid.  _

“You shouldn’t meddle in other people’s affairs”

“Oh ~ hush Iwa-chan. I’m bored” Oikawa gave him a side glance, not being able to mask fast enough the sheer amount of pain that bore in his eyes. “Besides, I can’t rush  _ my own  _ thing right” Iwaizumi frowned at him “So I might as well meddle in my friend’s lives.”

He seemed really content to finish the topic with that and, after a short jog, he waved enthusiastically at Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan! We are here!!”

Iwaizumi looked up at the 7 store building, an old ass American style construction that seemed to not even have an elevator. He looked back at a bright Oikawa smiling at him.

“Isn’t this great? And it was so cheap too!” Iwaizumi rushed his pace to meet the other man as he juggled to open the building’s door “Come now, Iwa-chan, our rental officer is waiting for us!”  

  
  


They walked up 7 stories till Oikawa halted over the 707 apartment. Iwaizumi took in a breath, clearly tired. He was right, there was no elevator in this goddamn thing. Well, at least this would make up if he couldn’t do his daily jog. Oikawa knocked on the big heavy door of the apartment, humming lowly. With a crack, the door opened to reveal a very old man in a business suit, who bowed at both of them politely.  _ Ah, the rental officer. _

“Hello, mister! Good to see you again!” Oikawa said, bowing as well and stepping into the apartment. “This is Iwa-chan-”

“Iwazumi Hajime”

“Right. So this is him! Isn’t him cool?” 

The old man darted a look between the two volleyball players and let a knowing smile slip to his chapped lips as he nodded. “Ah, yes Oikawa-kun.” the rental officer turned to Iwaizumi and bowed again “It’s nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-san.”

Iwaizumi coughed and responded alike, taking a look at the apartment for the first time. It was as old as the rest of the building but seemed to have received a recent paint job. It came with a table and a couple of large benches by a big window. By the entrance side, there was a sink and a couple of wooden cabinets. Three white doors were closed. 

Oikawa took him by the arm, locking his own with Iwaizumi’s -  _ like a girl on a date,  _ Iwaizumi thought, not able to fully fight the warm feeling spreading through his chest. Oikawa started to point at the doors.

“That one is the bathroom. This one his a bedroom and that one is another bedroom”

Iwaizumi eyed him suspiciously. “Why would I need two bedrooms, Oikawa?”

Oikawa batted his eyelashes at him, shrugging. 

“For when I move in, of course.” he pulled Iwaizumi by the arm he had been holding, urging him to come closer to the big window. “This building is old as balls and far away from the subways and shit, so a two bedroom apartment is waaaay ~ cheaper than a Single’s Downtown.” Oikawa smiled at him, surely feeling very smart himself.  “Don’t be grumpy, Iwa-chan. I’ll help you pay for it, of course.”

_ He better -  _ Iwaizumi thought, as he took a closer look at what lay behind the huge window. With his breath catching on this throat, Iwaizumi took a look back at a smug Oikawa. 

“Pretty, right?”

There was a river, much like the river they had back home, complete with a large patch of grass accompanying its way till where Iwaizumi’s eyes could see. Oikawa fell in place on the other side of the table, also looking at the scenery, a warm smile decorating his thin lips. Iwaizumi felt his chest constrict. 

“And you should know that in a 40 min run you can reach Gakudai,” Oikawa said the name and stuck out his tongue like it left a bitter taste in his mouth. “But I would get a bike if I were you”

Iwazumi just stared at his best friend, stared at him like he had never seen him before. Like seeing him anew. If there wasn’t a table between them, Iwaizumi wasn't sure what he would have done. His fingers twitched with the now familiar  _ need _ to touch Oikawa.

“It’s not exactly close to Tokyo U.,” he said, letting out a breath as he uttered the words. Iwaizumi should know, they just left Oikawa’s University. 

“Well, then I’ll nag your ears off about it.” he smiled at Iwaizumi, resting his chin on his open hand. “You know how much I love to do that.”

Despite himself, a chuckle left Iwaizumi, shaking him lightly. He was still staring at Oikawa, taking everything in. He felt that this moment - this moment right there - was one that he would never forget. Everything was being carved on his memory as it happened. Iwaizumi gulped.

“So? Do you like it?”

Iwaizumi balled his hands, feeling warm and fuzzy. A low smile spread through his voice with much more meaning than his words as he answered his best friend. “Yeah… I like it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kenma sighed as they left the third building. He wasn’t the one prone to sighing, but this whole day - scratch that, these past weeks - have been a mess and he couldn’t handle it anymore. The sun was already setting and he’d texted Oikawa saying that they were done for the day.

[ _ Thank you soooo much, kenma-chan! ໒( ♥ ◡ ♥ )७ The two of you are the best]  _

Kenma lifted his eyes up to look at Kuroo, who was already five steps ahead of him, rushing into the darkening street. He frowned - not that he had actually  _ stopped frowning  _ at any part of the day. Kuroo was giving him a shitty treatment and he had no idea why they had barely exchanged two words the entire day. 

“Tooru says ‘Thanks’” he said, a little louder than usual. Kuroo just grunted and kept on walking.  _ Great. _ His phone lit up again

[  _ You and Captain-chan should come to that student bar we went to during the National Championship! Iwa-chan and I are heading there and we want to buy you food as thanks!  _ ]

Kenma eyed the text skeptically.  _ That was a no for him _ . There was nothing that the blond kid wanted more than turn on his PlayStation and forget about this day altogether - he was  _ not  _ about to prolong it. Whatever his day might have been. A light vibration caught his attention on his phone again.

[  _ I’m not asking, Pudding head-chan. _ ]

At the same time, Kuroo stopped in his tracks, looking down at something and letting out a discontent growl. He turned to Kenma but didn’t look at him.

“Oikawa is inviting us for drinks.” he hesitated, “He says Iwaizumi will pay”

At the back of his mind, Kenma could hear Iwaizumi yelling ‘I didn’t say such thing’. He sighed, taking large steps to meet his friend face to face. 

“Kuroo”

Kuroo kept on looking down. “We should just go. Oikawa might as well show up in our house and drag us out if we don’t”. 

Kenma agreed to that to some extent. “You don’t seem like you want to go”

Kuroo shoved his hands into his pants pockets, chewing on his bottom lip. “Well yeah I don’t have a choice, so”

“Is Oikawa blackmailing you with something?”

Kuroo snorted and looked at Kenma’s eyes for the first time in what felt like forever to the blond kid, only to rapidly catch himself and look at the floor again. “When ISN’T Oikawa trying to blackmail someone?” Kenma just shrugged at the rhetorical question as Kuroo kicked a peddle near them. “He is not, though.”

He let a tired and unconsoled breath slip through his lips. “I just… I…” he ranked a hand to his clearly dirty hair, making it stick out in even weirder directions  “I owe him. Since I won’t be able to keep my promise to him I should just.. Humor him, I guess.” 

Kuroo looked at him again. Eyes searching, almost pleading. Kenma sucked on a breath. 

“Let’s just go, okay?” he let a hand rest on Kenma’s hair just for a microsecond before shoving it on his pockets again and turning his back to his friend.

Kenma reached for his shirt without thinking, making Kuroo stop mid-step. “What…” he breathed in, gathering courage “what is wrong with you, Kuroo?”

The pleading tone of Kenma’s voice made Kuroo’s heartache. He balled his hands

“There’s nothing wrong”

“Liar.”

“no”

“Liar!” 

Kenma yelled. Beside them, a post light chirped and lit up, creating a small circle of yellow light on their feet. Kuroo took a step forward, breaking their contact. 

“There’s nothing wrong just - Let’s just give Oikawa back his listings and get this day over, okay?” he waved, already making a haste towards the train station. 

Kenma put a hand to his chest, trying to calm down the anxiety and insecurity that made it drum like a drummer's solo. He felt his fingers shaking. 

“Tetsuro, that’s enough” Kenma was looking at him, was looking so very attentively that he didn’t miss the way Kuroo’s shoulders stiffen up. “I-I’m done! That’s enough. We never played the  _ guessing game _ . I’m tired. I’m hurt” Kuroo turned back at that “And I’m done - Oh I’m so done with your moping, Tetsuro. We were never like that and I’ll never let us be. I’m done waiting. I’m just - fucking done”.

Kuroo lifted one brow, breath cough up on his throat. He had maybe heard Kenma curse once or twice in his entire life. The first time being when the boy couldn’t, for the life of him, get a win from the Elite Four. And he’d stopped playing Heart Gold for two whole years after that. So, for Kenma, that was a bad sign - a  _ very bad sign _ . And, although Kuroo had given up on a prospect of a romantic relationship between him and his best friend, he didn’t exactly want to cut his ties with him as well.

“What do you want me to say” so he tried to mend things. Mend some shit that he himself had caused. 

“You tell me what’s going on with you, Kuroo, you tell me right now!” Kenma was looking up with such anger that made Kuroo take a step back. They were already close enough to feel each other’s warmth. 

“It’s just that you and Inuo-”

“WHAT?” Kenma’s voice came hoarse and a little girly with the almost yell. Kuroo felt like he should take yet another step back. “Are you serious, Tetsuro? Are you serious right now?”

Kenma was shaking with barely contained anger, he all but shoved a hand in his face, trying to calm his features but only being able to aggravate his state.  _ Was Kuroo fucking kidding him? _

“You are CRAZY! I don’t even want to finish this conversation!” Kenma rushed his steps, passing by an utterly shaken Kuroo. 

“Wait! You two were at the bakery! And Lev said-”

Kenma turned back to him, with so much furry in his eyes that Kuroo flinched.

“You listened to LEV?” the amount of disgust that pilled up on the younger boy’s face made Kuroo think back all his life choices. “And you didn’t even bother to talk to me?! Kuroo, really? I know you are stupid but Tooru must REALLY be rubbing off on you!”

“HEy” Kuroo protested, reaching a hand to stop Kenma from leaving. 

“He was helping me  _ study _ , Kuroo.” with a harsh shove, Kenma freed himself from his friend and proceeded to walk away “I’m done with you! I can’t believe this!”

“What?..” Kuroo breathed in, as Kenma wasn’t giving any signs of stopping, the man just ran after him. “Did you actually had to EAT with him though?”

Kuroo desperately tried to find a strand of reason within his thinking. He knew - he  _ knew  _ \- he was coming out as a petty, shitty, friend. Kenma looked at him, squaring his shoulders, the pure face of disgust adorning his pretty features.

“Stop being such a baby, Kuroo, I can’t believe this! I should have expected this kind of behavior, really! It’s my fault for not seeing you as the big baby that you are!” Kenma circled around his friend, determined to get away from him as fast as possible.

“Kenma-”

“FUCK OFF! We were  _ studying!  _ He owned me for making  _ your moping ass _ leave the Nekoma court. _ Remember?!!  _ I was just being  _ nice  _ and buying him Yakisoba Bread!” Kuroo’s knees buckled as he stopped running, Kenma having stopped too and just outright giving him the biggest  _ accusing eyes  _ that he had ever seen. And it sting.  _ Fuck it sting.  _ Kenma breathed in. Loudly. “I was just trying to fulfill the promise to go to Tokyo U. together. Or have you forgotten that?”

Kuroo’s brows shot up. His throat was so constricted that he couldn’t answer, so Kenma continued, barfing out confession after confession, like his own heart was hurting and anxious just as much - if not more - than Kuroo’s. Kenma let his head down, taking more control of himself.

“I need to study, Kuroo. You are already there, but there’s no volleyball scholarship in my future. I have to get in the traditional way.” he sighed as if faced with old fears once again. Kuroo couldn’t help but feel protective, so he reached a tentative hand to his best friend’s shoulder. 

“Seems like not even university can make me stop making a fool out of myself, uh?” Kuroo laughed, shaking Kenma a little as he did. “I’m sorry, Kenma”

“You should be.” Kenma looked at him square in the eye. “Why are you being so dramatic about it anyway? You knew that I was studying more after the nationals.  _ I told you _ .”

The accusation didn’t go unnoticed as Kuroo let his hand drop to his side.

“There’s no particular reason”

“Bulshit”

“Really”

“Liar”

Kenma knew him all too much, so Kuroo gave in - at least as much as he could.

“Because you are my friend” there was a tint of a question behind the poorly offered answer.

“Fuck you!” Kenma shoved Kuroo back, but never faltered on his own feet.

“Really!”

“Don’t you ‘Naruto’ me, Kuroo!!” Kenma almost made Kuroo’s knees give out as he pressed closer to him.

“Fu-Fuck. Fuck! Fi-NE! FINE!” Kuroo breathed in, gathering his stray thoughts “ I thought you two were dating”

“So what if we were”

“Wait” Kuroo felt his whole body constrict and implode. “Are you two really?..”

“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t be able to date whoever I want?”

There was a heavy - almost breathless tone - to Kenma’s question that left Kuroo desperate for a breath of fresh air.

“No?” he tasted the word on his tongue. He fucking hated the implied answer in it. “No!” he tried again, with more fervor behind it. Although it could be as much denial as a permission on Kuroo’s mind. But wait, Kenma didn’t  _ need  _ his permission, did he? “I mean.. No. If you want to date him, go date him.”

Kenma looked at him. Those hazel eyes that almost mirrored his own looked at Kuroo with an amount of defiance he wasn't expecting to witness. 

“So I can just date whoever I want and that’s not why you are mad.”

“No” Kuroo answered sharply, his tone betraying him at the same moment. “Obviously not.” 

And Kuroo takes a step back because he just  _ needs  _ it. He needs to  _ breathe. _

“I mean…” He gathers some courage, looking firmly at Kenma’s eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching “You are… I’m…”

“Yes?”

“We...Ah. You…”

“Honestly, Kuroo!”

Then it happens. Kuroo knows it’s coming before it actually happens, of course. Isn’t like it’s the first time he had kissed someone. Isn’t the first time he had kissed Kenma, actually. But as the blond guy takes a hold of Kuroo shirts and unceremoniously drags him down, using his other hand to guide Kuroo by the back of his head, Kuroo forgets that he has done this before. Kuro forgets how to breathe. Because he has kissed before, yes, but this is not a kiss. This is a beginning. 

Kenma hums as their lips meet, coaching Kuroo’s lips out of his astonishment and into responding to Kenma. Which he does, of course. He does ever so gladly. Kuroo can feel the moment his soul dissolves into Kenma’s. He can feel his arms wrapping around his friend’s smaller frame. He can feel Kenma’s hot, wet, tongue making his belly clench in knots all the way to his legs, making him wobble a little. Kenma’s touch is hot on the back of his head, on his chest, with the little fingers sprawled over where his heart beats - and Kuroo feels his heart beating so fast it could surely rip through his chest right at Kenma’s hands.  _ But it’s fine _ . He thinks. That’s where it always belonged anyway.

Kuroo is about to sink himself in. To merge his soul with Kenma’s. He is so ready to give in. But his hands find  Kenma’s shoulders and all his insecurities came flooding him like a tsunami. So he jolts back to Earth, separating the two of them.

He has to breathe in first - because of course, he has - but his cloudy eyes look at Kenma with resolve and a hoarse voice comes out of his throat.

“W..What?”   
  


Because he needs to be sure. He needs it. As much as he needs Kenma. Even more.

“You said…” Kenma starts, perfectly aware of the doubts swimming on his friend’s eyes, feeling more than knowing Kuroo’s insecurities by the way he shakes but doesn't ever let go of Kenma “You said I could date whoever I wanted, right?” he starts again, because as long as they are Kuroo and Kenma, they can start again how many times they want. “I’m simply making my choice.”   
  


Kuroo looks at him. Hears his words. He understands them. Deep down he knew them already. Inner Kuroo must be having a blast calling him stupid and all. Kuroo can even hear Oikawa joining in, chanting ‘Kuroo, stupid’ with his inner self. Still, after all these years. After all the fear, the longing, and the hurt. Kuroo needs to be  _ sure _ . He needs to.

“What?”

Kenma wraps his arms around him, the best he can with such height difference, and smiles fondly. 

“Honestly, Kuroo. You  _ have _ been living with Tooru for too long” he gives a chaste kiss on Kuroo’s lips, so full of love that almost overflows Kuroo’s body. Almost makes him tear up. “I’ve always liked Kuroo the most.”

And Kuroo gives in. He just gives in - because he is the happiest he has ever been in his whole life.

* * *

 

 

Oikawa is tapping his fingers on the table, very impatient indeed. Iwaizumi noticed he looking at the door whenever he isn’t looking at this phone, not even being able to keep up with Iwaizumi’s really dumb conversation. Iwaizumi almost drops out of his chair when Oikawa suddenly gets up, face all bright, in the middle of Iwaizumi talking. He traced his friend’s eye to the door, seeing what the other man had clearly been expecting: Kuroo and Kenma had just walked in, hand in hand. Kuroo clearly looking like his world just took an unexpected turn for the better - namely, he looked like a puppy after being told that  _ he is a good boy _ -. Oikawa lifted himself up from the table, clearly looking like a happy puppy himself. If Iwaizumi wasn’t so confused, he might find it amusing. 

The newcomers took each one side of the table, with Kenma sitting beside Iwaizumi. Kuroo might as well be a shoujo protagonist, Iwaizumi thought, because sparkles were practically bouncing off him, all smiles and shit. Oikawa looked equally excited, must to Iwaizumi’s confusion. 

“So~~ “ Oikawa begun, stretching his hands on the table, smile even more sickly sweet than usual. “How are you guys? Did you find something interesting?”

Kenma only sighed by his side. The way Oikawa was singing his words was  _ very  _ suspicious to Iwaizumi, who only frowned. Not wanting to be kept in between two cheerful idiots, Kenma looked up and started to tell what happened between them only to have Kuroo hold his hand and take the lead.

“... And now we are an Item!”

Iwaizumi wanted to  _ die _ as Oikawa looked smugly at him. 

“Oh, Captain-chan! I’m tearing up! This is so good. Please be sure to call me to be your bridesmaid.” he dried a fake tear out of his eye. 

Iwaizumi looked from Kenma to Kuroo - and then to Oikawa.

“So, you confessed finally, uh?” he said, turning to Kuroo, only to make Kenma scoff by his side, already picking a few pieces of meat out of the appetizer he and Oikawa had ordered before.

“As if. Kuroo chickened out and I kissed him.” Kenma finished the sentence by all but shoving a hashi full of meat on his mouth. Iwaizumi looked at him and then to Kuroo, still with a verge of disbelief. 

“Ah” Oikawa sighed, clearly without having his excitement diminished the sightless. “That sounds about right!” He laughed, patting - a now very red - Kuroo.  “You know, Kenma-chan, he has been trying to confess for ages! He tried to bake you cookies, to write a fic with your favorite characters, to organize a romantic dinner…” and Oikawa proceeded to list all of Kuroo’s very much failed attempts at confessing, only to have both Kuroo and Kenma grow a shade darker of red with every new attempt added to the list. Finally, scooping up the last piece of meat, Oikawa beamed “But he never actually managed to confess.”

Kenma looked at Kuroo, with a mixture of confusion and astonishment of his clear eyes. There was understanding but also an accusatory tone to his eyes. 

Kuroo just laughed. Waving an embarrassed hand at Oikawa, in an effort to  _ please _ make him stop.

“Ah, yeah.” he straightened up and looked at Kenma, waving a piece of meat around “I love you”

Kenma choked on his own spit, feeling the air leave his lungs as fast as possible. By his side, Iwazumi was almost panicking at the increasing redness on his face. Across the table, Oikawa’s rich laugh filled everybody’s ear. 

“Oh ~ my  _ God _ , Captain-chan!” he shook Kuroo by the shoulders, clearly laughing louder than needed. “You haven’t actually done the  _ confession  _ thing yet, have you?”

“Fuck, no.” Kuroo breathed out, feeling relieved as his shoulders took a more relaxed stance.

“Well, I thank you for letting us witness this cute Kenma-chan!” Oikawa laughed out loud, making the whole table shake. He flicked his hair out of his face and breathed in, steadying himself. “Oh ~ I feel the need to tell you guys that we’ve found an apartment”

“Why doesn't that surprised me,” Kenma said under his breath.

“Well, good. Because everything that we saw today was shit”

Oikawa put a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Just one thing?” he glanced at Iwaizumi, who was perfectly frowning “We need help to move in tomorrow?”

By his side, Kenma growled, letting his forehead hit the table like a dead man meeting the floor face first. 

“Fuck no, that’s my last day off,” Kuroo grunted

  
“Fuck yes!” Oikawa hugged Kuroo by the shoulders and looked at the other men on the table, giving what might be mistaken for an apologetic smile to other people less versed on  _ Oikawa _ . “Moving in party, anyone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ikr  
> I pulled that out of my ass - UGHHHH   
> This is SO NOT what I wanted, but I needed to resolve the whole Kuroken shit before getting us to the main dish and I fucking FROZE for months and could think of nothing.   
> 1 - FUN FACT: Iwaizumi's new apartment is ABSOLUTELY based on Nana's apartment. (707 for the wiiiin)  
> 2- (not so) FUN FACT: most - really - of the 'ideas' Kuroo had on how to confess to his best friend were actual ideas that MY DUMB ASS had to confess to MY best friend. Needless to say that I never actually manage to do it.   
> Also, I can't write Lev for shit and he always comes out sounding like Lee. For fuck's sake...
> 
> See you guys in two weeks or so with - what i hope is - the last chapter.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS THEY MAKE ME CRY A LOT  
> <3


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